Weighty Matters

Friends, as of this morning, I am obese and I am celebrating.

Sounds counter-intuitive, even crazy, doesn’t it?

Not when you look at my history.  When I started my journey to wellness and commited to having weight loss surgery, I weighed 386 pounds.  At my height, this meant that I had a body mass index (BMI) of 64.2.  BMI is the quick determination of obesity.  Roughly, here’s how the numbers stack up.  Normal weight = BMI of 18.5 – 24.9.  Overweight = BMI of 25-29.9.  Obesity – 30-39.9.  BMI equal or greater than 35 with obesity-related health conditions, or any BMI equal or greater than 40 means morbid obesity.  Greater than 45 with health conditions or BMI of 50 means you’re super obese.

A BMI of 64.2 practically needs its own category beyond super obese.  Perhaps mega-obese?  Modern medicine hasn’t defined it yet.

So, I was super obese.  Every time I see the surgeon for a follow up appointment, he recalculates my BMI.  He actually does it on his iPhone.  Me, I go to one of the numerous free BMI calculators available on the internet.

This morning when I stepped on the scale I was 239 pounds.  (I’m closing in on 150 pounds lost!  These last 7 pounds have been slow to come off, delayed by the bit of food frolic in which I indulged while on my Hawaii trip.)  Today’s weight  gave me a BMI of 39.8.  My co-morbidities and obesity-related health conditions of high cholesterol, high blood pressure, and high blood sugar have resolved, so this puts me out of the morbid obese category into the “merely” obese!  Yes, my friends, I say that’s reason to celebrate!  Picture me doing a happy dance around my bedroom this morning.  Better yet, do it with me.

In the grand scheme of things, this particular number doesn’t mean anything.  I still need to lose more weight.  Sixty pounds from now when I weigh 179 I’ll leave obesity behind and join the world of the overweight with a BMI lower than 30.  My doctor wants me to go to at least 166.  He says that I’ll gain some weight when I transition to maintenance so going lower will give me room to gain a few pounds and still not tip back over the line into obesity.  Thank God he isn’t hammering at me to get to normal weight.  The thought of losing all of the way to 149 pounds is more than my mind can wrap around.

So how do I plan to celebrate today’s milestone accomplishment?  Well, I’m not breaking out cake and ice cream, that’s for sure.  I prepared a healthy lunch to bring to work — homemade egg salad and some hummus in romaine lettuce wraps.  I also have a navel orange for an afternoon snack.  Tonight, it’s Zumba class and a walk with the dogs.  I’m partying in my heart and spirit instead of with food, plus I’m celebrating it here with you.

Woohoo!

Prior to going to the doctor last week, I had to fill out the new patient paperwork which included my current weight.  Last week I also went online to calculate my current body mask index (BMI).  In both instances, I incorrectly typed my weight as beginning with a three.

After several months, I still don’t instinctively remember that I weigh less than 300 pounds.   I step on the scale a few times a week.  You’d think that I’d be used to seeing 2 something.    In my own defense, I guess it isn’t too out there.  I weighed more than 300 pounds for decades.  Still, since I celebrated getting below that mark  and did so several months ago, I’m sort of surprised that I keep writing my weight wrong.

Sometimes when I stand before the mirror, I’m really surprised at how much thinner I look.  I’m happy to say that I haven’t suffered from “fat eyes”, that syndrome when I think I’m a lot bigger than I really am.  However, the new, ever improving body, isn’t something to which I’m yet accustomed.

I’ll get there; I believe this to be true.  There will come a day when my new body is “normal” to me.  I know I have months to go before I reach my goal weight.  After that, there will be several months, perhaps even a year, before I can have the “skin-ectomy” (My made up term.) to remove the excess skin.  So, I’m a long way way from the final product. 🙂  Again, I say, I’ll get there.

Physically, I’m a constant work in progress.  Mentally, I am too.  I made good progress this weekend with my shopping experiences.  Once I saw the smaller sizes that I was fitting into at one store, I never looked back.  I hit another store and went right for the smaller size, trying that one first.  I think I just need to build on each experience where I see, acknowledge and accept that I keep reducing in size.

As for remember this when I have to note my weight on electronic forms, it doesn’t matter if I slip and put in a 3.  I can always delete the error and reenter the right info!  It’s certainly an easy adjustment!

A year ago today I had a vertical sleeve gastrectomy (VSG) for weight loss surgery.  As those of you who are long time readers of this blog know, it’s been one heck of a wonderful year.  Even though I’ve lived the journey every day, sometimes the changes and improvements amaze me.  Here’s a brief recap:

At my highest weight before the surgery, I was 386 pounds.   I’m 5′ 5″ so this meant my body mass index put me past morbid obesity into the realm of super obese.  I was on a statin drug for high cholesterol, Metformin for high blood sugar, and two different medications for high blood pressure.  I was diagnosed with sleep hypopnia and put on a CPAP machine.   I couldn’t walk more than a couple of blocks without gasping for air.  My right knee hurt all of the time and I often limped when I walked.  Going up a flight of stairs was a challenge.  My pants size, depending on the cut, was a 30 or 32.  My tops were 4X or 28 and up.

Needless to say, the quality of my life was rapidly eroding and the longevity of  my remaining life was in question.

With the VSG, the size of my stomach was reduced by 70%.   This automatically meant that I could no longer eat large quantities of food.  However, I am a compulsive overeater, so the stomach surgery only serves as a very effective tool.  In order to succeed, I had to radically change my food choices, not just in quantity but in quality.  I also needed to move from a sedentary life to one of activity and exercise.

So, here’s what’s happened in a year.   As of this morning, I’ve lost 141 pounds.  I’m wearing a size 20 pant and it won’t be long before I can get into size 18.  I wear an XL-2XL shirt, depending on the make and style.  (Mostly XL.)

I’m no longer on any medications.  My fasting blood sugar level is in the low 90s.  My cholesterol is in the normal range.  My blood pressure is normal.  Although the pulmonologist isn’t quite ready to take me off of the CPAP machine, my sleep apnea numbers have improved a great deal.  Even though I’m still overweight, my co-morbidities have already resolved!

I’ve gone from someone who dreaded moving around to a person who exercises regularly and with great enjoyment and enthusiasm.  I love Zumba class, long walks with my dogs, and Tai Chi classes.  I have more energy and less pain.  In fact, I physically feel stronger than I have since my 20s.  (I’m 55, by the way.)

I make much healthier food choices with more protein, fruits and veggies and a lot less sugar and crap carbs.  Fresh, tasty, and healthy are the key qualities I look for when I eat.

My spirit and psyche are light and energized too.  Instead of fearing that my future was short, I’m planning, embracing and trying a whole list of new adventures.   I used to feel completely limited and constrained by my super obesity.  Today I feel so fit that nothing seems impossible.  I’m up to trying just about everything!

There have been dozens of Non-Scale Victories (NSVs) occurring, from fitting comfortably in an airplane seat and not needing a seat belt extender to kayaking to shopping in a regular department store and finding clothes that fit.

Along the way, I’ve learned a lot about myself.  I’ve worked hard on my head and emotions, delving into why I overate in the past, why food was my drug of choice, how I used it to cope and, most importantly, what I need to do differently.  The surgery is only one tool in the toolkit to succeed.  The head and heart work are vital to long term success.

I still have a long way to go.  Longer, in fact, than I thought.  I saw my surgeon today.  He wants me to lose another 80 pounds so that I go below where I actually need to be.  In his experience, once patients transition to maintenance, they naturally put back on a little weight so going further will put me right in the long run.  (My reaction to hearing 80 pounds is the subject for a future blog.)

However, initial whining aside, I’m not afraid of the goal, or not much anyway.  I know that I’ve built the tools and confidence I need to get to the desired weight.  It will take diligence one meal at a time, one day at a time, but I’ll get there.  The biggest barrier to progress is complacency so I am determined to not get complacent just because I’m doing so well.

I’ve showed some photos here from time to time.  Today at the doctor’s office I asked for copies of the pictures they took of me last year before the surgery.  Then I asked them to take a couple of me today.  It’s good for me to look at them and see the photographic evidence of my progress.   For years, I hid in the backs of groups whenever someone pointed a camera in my direction.  It’s another indication of how far I’ve come, inside and out, that I’m willing to publically share these photos now. (By coincidence I wore a pink blouse each day.  Different blouses, of course!)

This blog has been a big part of my overall progress.  It’s helped me identify and work through issues, kick old secrets out of the dark and into the light, and stay accountable.  I don’t know if I’d have made as much progress without writing about all of the different topics and events.   Thank you all again for being part of Weighty Matters and supporting me with your participation, encouragement and comments.  I hope you’ll stick with me for the days, weeks and months ahead.

Before I had weight loss surgery, I was taking medication for various health issues.  My doctor had me on a statin drug to control high cholesterol, Metformin for high blood sugar, plus Atenolol and Ramipril to combat high blood pressure.   The day after my surgery, my bariatric surgeon told me to stop taking the statin and Metformin.   I did so, but continued to monitor my blood glucose level at home.  The fasting number kept dropping.

Throughout the last year, I’ve had blood tests several times.  We watched while the overall cholesterol number began to decrease.  As my weight went down and my exercise increased, we saw the ratio of good to bad cholesterol weight heavily in favor of the good.

In mid-December, I saw my primary care physician.  She evaluated everything and we decided we would try taking me off of the two meds for the high blood pressure.  I was to check my pressure a couple of days a week at home and see her again in a month.

That visit happened today.  In the office, my blood pressure numbers were so good that the nurse checked me twice just to be sure.  I showed my doctor my log from the last five or so weeks.  The numbers didn’t lie.  She told me I could stay off the meds and that I didn’t have to see her again until December for my annual visit!

I am now off of all of my meds.  Pharmaceutical freedom!

It’s amazing that the co-morbidities have resolved so beautifully when I’m still overweight.  I’m not sure why this happens.  I’ll have to ask my surgeon again when I see him on Friday for my one year “surgiversary”.

When all is said and done, the why doesn’t matter.  It’s only important that it’s happened.  I’m treating myself with diet and exercise and, clearly, it’s working!