Weighty Matters

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Robbing Myself of Joy

on July 30, 2014

So yesterday I was in a really pissy place with a boatload of discouragement and frustration. Never, ever, underestimate the benefit of asking for help and encouragement. I asked and I received both here and via private email. Thank you, friends. I am, indeed, encouraged by your words and feel supported.

There is still much for me to think about and process as I move forward. Stirring all of your words and stories together, the first thing that I come back to is the realization I’ve had that in focusing so much on what I’ve been unable to accomplish, i.e. getting under 200 pounds and then hitting goal weight, I am diminishing the pleasure and happiness of all that I have already achieved. I’m robbing myself of joy. That, my friends, simply will not do. I’ve lost something like 85% of the weight that I need to lose which, consequently is nearly half of my total body weight. (If I’m doing the math right, which I’m pretty sure I am. Then again, it is math which has never been my strong suit.) However, arithmetic aside, I’ve lost a FREAKING LOT OF WEIGHT. I need to celebrate that every single day. I eat healthier. I have gone from sedentary to active. I don’t suffer with extreme knee pain and overall body aches. I don’t have high blood pressure, high cholesterol, or high blood sugar any more.

I am healthy and active. My life used to be filled with obesity-induced obstacles. Now those obstacles are gone. This is a time to be happy, energetic, free of excessive worry and food obsession, free-spirited.

It is not a time to be anxious, stressed out, frustrated, discouraged and sad over the last 30 stubborn pounds.

One of my friends pointed out that the worrying and stress induce cortisol production. According to the opening of an article in Psychology Today, The stress hormone, cortisol, is public health enemy number one. Scientists have known for years that elevated cortisol levels: interfere with learning and memory, lower immune function and bone density, increase weight gain, blood pressure, cholesterol, heart disease… The list goes on and on.

Screw dat.

Today, I woke up grateful for so many things and all of the positive changes I have experienced. Today I am going to catch myself any time I start to obsess over lack of weight loss again and divert myself with the positive spin. I’m not denying that there is more I want to do, but I need to recapture the happiness of all that I can and all that I am.

Each new day presents the endless opportunity to enjoy my best, most authentic life. That’s the goal. I will continue to follow my healthy eating plan and exercise efforts. The weight will come off when it comes off. In the meantime, I’m taking back my joy.

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2 responses to “Robbing Myself of Joy

  1. Lynn Viehl says:

    Sorry for cluttering your comments with this, Mary, but I e-mailed you a couple days ago via the addy on your author site. If you didn’t get that one, or there’s another addy I should be using, would you send it tol me when you have a chance? Got something to ask and to show you. 🙂

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