Weighty Matters

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on November 26, 2012

As discussed over the weekend, I’ve begun to write down my food for the day first thing in the morning.  By “write down” I mean that I type it into the Notes feature of my iPhone.  I did this yesterday and today and have followed the plan exactly as, well, planned.  It’s a wonderful thing to not deviate.  Even when I opened up a desk drawer and saw the emergency cheese cracker package in there, I didn’t grab them and open them up.  I stayed the course.

It’s amazing that some days can be a constant struggle to stay on track and other days are as easy as breathing.  All in favor of more easy days, please raise your hands.

After a few days of no struggling, I can honestly feel how much I was battling my compulsion in recent weeks.  To great degree it was like someone flicked the switch on my motivation and shut it down.  Now the switch has toggled back to the “On” position and I’m doing better once more.  I know this is not meant to be a sprint, but I don’t like thinking of it as a marathon either.  I want to embrace it as a daily journey and not a race of any length.

That’s an important mindset for me to continually cultivate and reinforce.  My effort doesn’t end when I hit goal weight, whatever weight that ends up to be.  Changing one’s life means transforming ourselves and then maintaining the transformation for the rest of that changed life.

In OA and other 12 Step Programs, we learn that we do this all one day at a time.   Success isn’t about tomorrow, or a week from now.  Two months from now don’t matter as much as right now, today.   For today, I am grateful to have regained my motivation and to have enjoyed several “easier” days.  I abstained from compulsive eating today.  Tomorrow when I wake up, I will commit to abstaining again.

I can do this.  I am rejuvenated.



2 responses to “Rejuvenation

  1. Skye says:

    Yay for easier days! Yay for rejuvenation! Yay for Mary!

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