I’m annoyed with myself. Now that my foot is healed, I have no excuse for not getting back to exercising more often.
I’m being lazy. That’s not acceptable. I need to be doing much more than I am. At the same time, I’m really scared of triggering another bout of plantar fasciitis or tearing the tissue again. I’m also, as I mentioned, being lazy. It’s like I lapsed into my old slothful ways when I was super heavy and just walking was a challenge.
What I miss most is my excited attitude about being able to move and be much more physically active. When the world of movement opened up, I experienced joy in my body, in myself. I’d like to find it again. I know it hasn’t disappeared. It’s merely… misplaced. Every once in awhile I catch a glimpse, like when I swim around snorkeling for an hour or when my friend and I kayaked for a couple of hours. I haven’t ridden my bike much, but when I do, it’s still a source of enjoyment.
When I was in pain and then undergoing treatment, I couldn’t do Tai Chi. Oh, I missed it for so many reasons. I’m glad to be back in class. Even though I spell myself a little to work my heel and myself back into the routine, whenever I do the moves, I experience contentment and peace, simple pleasure in how easily I move. (Although I have to work on regaining my balance now that I’m adjusting to doing the moves in sneakers.)
I’ve been able to walk the dogs more regularly. Today I did workout moves in the pool, including treading water for several minutes, doing several short laps (It’s a small pool so short laps are all I can do.) I even worked on my triceps, abs and biceps.
I’m also making a commitment to myself — and stating it publicly on the blog — that I’m going to check out rowing classes. Several friends have tried them and pronounced them great workouts that are fun. They’re also low impact so my heel and knees shouldn’t be at risk. I’m shooting for trying the first class tomorrow – provided the evening class isn’t full. I’m going to call first thing in the morning.
In the meantime, I keep reminding myself that any movement is good movement. More movement is even better. I think I just need to keep pushing myself to be active and believe that doing so will rekindle the motivation and lead to me doing even more.
Weighty Matters 
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