I almost called this post Small Victories, but that’s the title of a book I’m reading by the wonderful Anne LaMott and I didn’t want to steal it for my blog. I will no doubt write a whole post about this book after I finish it, so stay tuned. 🙂
It’s Day Three of Lean-Green-Clean and it’s been another day of good, clean abstinence from compulsive overeating. Even though I mentioned a few posts ago how my body feels different when I eat clean versus when I eat crap, I am frankly amazed at how much better I feel after only three days. My systems and cells are practically singing. They’re much happier when I fuel them with healthy, nutritious food and don’t inflict big quantities of fat, junk carbs, processed foods, and sugar. I’m also doing a better job of hydrating, which increases the wellness. I have more energy too.
I’m sure there are people who might look at this and think, “Three days. Big whoop.” To a lot of people, eating clean, green, healthy food in appropriate volume isn’t difficult. It’s, shall we say, normal. For me, one day of abstinence from compulsive overeating is a win. I can’t take the days, any of them, for granted. I sure can’t look at the effort and consider it easy or think there’s nothing to it. Humility and gratitude are important to my recovery.
On top of the overall day, I had a particularly special “win”. A group of us got together right after work at neighboring restaurant for the send off of a dear co-worker who is going on to a different job. I’d already decided that I wouldn’t order anything to eat, but instead just enjoy the time and then eat my planned-on meal when I got home. It’s not that I can’t eat out at a restaurant, and the food is good at this place. I just knew, however, that the portions would be huge and there weren’t many menu items that fit the lean-green-clean plan. I felt strong and confident in this decision.
I hadn’t planned on there being a large cake at the gathering. Red velvet with a cream cheese frosting, to be exact. It was sitting right on the table in front of me . . . so close that I could actually smell the cream cheese and the sugar. Others at the gathering offered me a slice and I didn’t even think about saying yes. I sat there with everyone and that scrumptious looking/smelling cake for a good 45 minutes, just talking and sipping a glass of water. It wasn’t even a case of white-knuckling my way through the event. My mindset was strong, calm, and sure that I truly didn’t want to eat any cake.
That truly is a victory for me. I faced down a substance that is usually addictive and didn’t give in to my disease. In addition to checking in and noting how I feel physically, I need to spend some time acknowledging how recovery feels to me emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.
There’s a saying in program that nothing tastes as good as abstinence feels. I’m celebrating that feeling tonight.
Weighty Matters 
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