I’m pretty pissed off at myself. I’m angry about the way that I’m eating, the food choices I’ve been making, and the unhealthy behaviors that I continue to reinforce.
It might be difficult to understand the difference between beating up on myself and being angry with myself, but right now, this type of anger actually feels healthier and more productive. It’s better than turning it inward into depression and then eating over it because I’m sad and depressed about my disease. It absolutely is a lot better for me than denial. It’s also cleaner and more constructive than just telling myself I’m badbadbad, useless, weak-willed and all of that crap that I am also capable of saying.
I’m looking to use this temper and straight-talk myself into positive action.
One positive action is as simple as acknowledging the anger and all of my feelings and then letting myself experience them instead of smothering them with food.
So, anger can be positive when appropriately channeled. It helps to reinforce the wake-up call that I desperately need and then shore up the motivation and constructive actions to reclaim recovery.
Speaking of reclaiming recovery, I went through half a dozen boxes from my storage unit today, sorting through things that I’d put away for quite some time. In one of the boxes, I found two of my OA books. No coincidence that they would reappear in my life right now when I so badly need them for study and healing!
No coincidence at all.
Weighty Matters 
No coincidence, but synchronicity with the OA books’ appearance. And I think you’ve earned your way into a pretty sophisticated understanding of the virtues of cleansing anger. I’m not sure we would have read these words from you when you first began the journey with your blog. Certainly, you’ve been teaching me as you go along your path. Thank you, Mary.