It’s Day 6 of my 31 Day Challenge and Day 6 of the healthy cleanse. I have really and honestly been vigorous in following the program. Each day, I’ve drunk (drank?) the cleanse liquid. I’ve had protein shakes for breakfast and lunch. At night I’ve eaten chicken with mixed greens and a veggie. My snacks have been healthy – veggies, fruit, nuts sometimes. I’ve had a couple of small pieces of dark chocolate over the six days.
As suggested to me, I haven’t eaten red meat. The only dairy products were small splashes, and I do mean small, of half and half in my morning tea. I haven’t had any potatoes, rice, bread — not even as much as a single cracker or chip.
You would think with such rigorous adherence to program, I’d have seen some great results. In terms of the scale — I’ve fluctuated up and down in a one-to-two-pound range. Internally, my system remains sluggish. I’m frustrated as hell.
If I didn’t mentally feel so encouraged by my abstinence from compulsive eating, I’d be downright pissed off. Tonight, I’m craving the positive reinforcement of weight loss for my solid effort. Instead, I have to reinforce myself by continuing to focus on the fact that I was in recovery all week and stuck to my plan. In lieu of progress and satisfaction, I need to remind myself that if I keep doing what I’m doing, the weight loss will come. Go on faith, so to speak, while I wait for the results to happen in fact.
I understand that at age 56, my metabolism is slower than it was when I was younger. I also completely get why the weight melted off so rapidly in the first year after my weight loss surgery and then gradually slowed. I just didn’t expect it to slow so much that it feels like the equivalent of rush hour on the busiest highway in America when a traffic accident has closed down two of the four open lanes.
Right now, my mind is the biggest risk. Overcoming the “I was so good this week and nothing. Oh screw it” mentality takes effort. I’m engaged in some mental “white-knuckling”, struggling somewhat to keep my mind and thoughts clean, healthy, and focused on the ultimate goal.
I’ve read up on yo-yo dieting, or more properly called weight cycling. Studies in post-menopausal women have shown that years of yo-yoing don’t mean that you’re doomed. Given the right formula of calories and nutrition, I absolutely will lose weight.
All things considered, while frustration isn’t fun, it beats the emotions I’ll experience if I give into any emotional eating. If I do that, I’ll be angry, disappointed in myself, and sad — all heaped on top of the frustration. Instead, I need to “keep on keeping on”. One of these mornings, I will wake up and see progress.
Weighty Matters 
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