It’s really been an up and down week, hasn’t it? Sadness and turmoil in the beginning, finding balance mid-week, now finishing up on good, happy notes. For someone who tends to eat over emotions, getting myself on track and not continuing with that behavior was a challenge, but ultimately, I feel successful now.
Wearing size 18W capris is nothing short of amazing to me. I had another clothing NSV too. I’d ordered two dresses in what I was sure was my new smaller size. They arrived yesterday and I absolutely love one of them, except it’s too big! Too big as in I can’t even fake it through wearing it this coming weekend and then getting it taken in. (I tried talking myself into doing just that but a friend talked me out of wearing it at all in this size.)
I really do need the even smaller size. I thought about just taking this one to the seamstress and having it altered, figuring that would be cheaper than shipping it back and paying for shipping for the new garment, but now I’ve decided to just start fresh. If I didn’t like the dress so much, I wouldn’t bother, but it will look really nice when I wear it to a conference in the beginning of May.
I’m discovering more than new sizes and am venturing into brave, newer territory on style and design. I have to say that this requires me to expand the boundaries of my comfort zone. I’m used to decades of trying to hide my weight, not that I ever really could, but I believed that at least I dressed size-appropriate and looked as good as I could manage. I covered up the flaws as best I could. I didn’t wear blouses that were so small the buttons strained to keep the garment closed and gaps showed anyway. My pants weren’t too tight and dresses hopefully masked the worst bulges and bumps.
Maybe this all worked and maybe it didn’t, but at least I believed that it did and that helped.
Now it’s time to rediscover style and try new things to find out what flatters me at this current size. The dress that I’m going to order in a smaller size has a banded waist so, it actually shows my waist. Some of the new blouses I bought are more fitted in the midsection too. The dress that I bought a couple of weeks ago, which I will now definitely wear next weekend at the event, came with a wide, stretchy belt that again, accentuated the waistline. I actually have a waistline now. Who’d a thunk? I hate the belt, but not because it’s wide and stretchy. It’s a bright limey-yellowy green which is one of my least favorite colors and definitely not in my color palette. If it was neon blue, purple, turquoise, cherry red or something else that I liked, I’d be set. I’ve searched for other wide, stretchy belts but no luck.
I found a belt that has cute bedazzling on cream colored grosgrain but was concerned that it wasn’t wide enough. I tried on the ensemble for a friend last night. She and I decided that this belt will honestly look pretty. I don’t want to tie it in back so she’s going to help me measure off what fits and then I’ll sew in some snaps.
The only part on which we disagree is whether I need to wear panty hose. Down here in the Keys, you can get away with wearing pretty much anything and not adding stockings. However, this dress is not only fitted at the waist, but the length is also above the knee. The good news about my weight loss is, well, that I’ve lost so much. The bad news is that I am beginning to see some skin sag and wrinkling in areas of my body. When I had the dress on last night, I immediately saw the wrinklyness (made up word) of my skin between the hem and my knee. My friend thinks nobody else will notice, but I know it exists. Because I know it’s there, I’m going to be self-conscious about it. So, as much as I dislike pantyhose, I think I will be much more comfortable putting on a pair for this event.
What’s the point of wearing a great, new, sassy dress that makes me feel good about my weight loss and fitness efforts if my pleasure will be tainted by worry about saggy skin? I know myself well enough to know that I’ll obsess about it all week and all of that night. Far better to make the hosiery decision now and be done!
I have to say that it’s a fun adventure to consider clothes in styles that I would never have dreamed of wearing when I was heavier, if indeed they were even available in large enough sizes. If requires some self-trust, too. I need to be confident that I’ll know whether I honestly look good in something I’ve put on. I also have to fight the old tendency to go for looser, roomier garments and remind myself that even the prettiest dress won’t look good on me if it’s too big. That’s what I had to learn and accept yesterday and what will help me as I move forward into the future.
Weighty Matters 
Added bonus of going for the smaller sizes and not having your dresses altered… you can have them taken in later when you lose even more weight!
For above the knee dresses, I’ll also be wearing something on my legs. I don’t have significant “shrinkles” (a friend of mine coined that term) around my knees, but I do have a fair amount of varicose veins, & I want to minimize their appearance.
Something you might consider in place of standard panty hose is the variety of leggings out there. You might find some of the pretty fairly sheer/light-weight types with pretty patterns, or that only go down to the ankles (don’t have feet) with lace around the ankles … stuff like that. Some dresses look great with leggings — they can double as either a tunic or a dress, depending on how you decide to dress them up.
All that being said, I anticipate panty-hose being much more enjoyable at a smaller size than they were at a larger size.
Thanks for all the suggestions. I can’t do footless leggings with this dress but I think I’ll be ok with sheer pantyhose.
Love shrinkles!!