Weighty Matters

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General Stuff

on December 13, 2012

Last night was the first holiday gathering.  I got through it in pretty good shape, meaning without overeating or eating totally off plan.  I had a single glass of wine, didn’t pig out on hors d’oeuvres, took small portions of the main course and then didn’t eat them all.  There were cupcakes for dessert.  I scraped most of the green frosting off of one and ate about half of the cake.  All told, that’s pretty reasonable party eating spread out over a few hours.

Today after work I dashed home to let out the dogs and then get up to the salon for a hair appointment.  I was really tired and thought caffeine would help.  You’ll be happy to know that I made through the Dunkin Donuts drive-through with only a hot tea.  No sugar glazed crack doughnuts for me.

I have another doctor’s appointment in Miami tomorrow so I took the day as a sick day.  It takes me a couple of hours to drive to the appointment, if there are no traffic tie-ups, etc.  I’m going to treat myself to an early morning Zumba class before I shower and change to get on the road.

It amazes me that I’ve come to think of an hour of exercise as a treat.  I’m actually happy that the opportunity is there for me to enjoy tomorrow morning.  I’m going away for the holidays and have already scoped out the locations of Zumba classes where I’m going.  There’s one at my sister-in-law’s gym the morning after Christmas.  I plan to go.  It will likely be the first time I’ve packed two different pairs of sneakers for a vacation.  I wear cross-trainers for Zumba because there are pivots and slides in some of the moves.  Walking shoes have too defined a tread and aren’t the best choice for this class.  However, I’m sure that I’ll also take some walks while away and I don’t want to wear down my cross-trainers.

Good Lord, don’t I sound all athletic and stuff?  😉

Tomorrow’s appointment is the follow-up with the pulmonologist to review the results of my recent sleep test.  Please send some good vibes my way.  I dearly want the doctor to say it’s okay for me to stop using the CPAP machine.  It’s already been a banner week for me with health results.  This would just pin a gold star on the banner.

If I don’t get the okay, I know I’ll be bummed, but I won’t drown my feelings in calories.  It will be one of those times when I need to practice the Serenity Prayer and accept the things I cannot change.  There are people who aren’t overweight at all that still have sleep disorders that require a CPAP.  I can only keep doing what I’m doing, listen to what the doctor recommends, and hope that when I lose all of my weight I can be reevaluated.

Sometimes I wish there were days when I didn’t have to think of things in terms of whether or not I’ll want to eat over them, but that’s my reality and it does me no good to ignore the possibility.  That’s just another kind of denial.

It’s hard to change what has become an instinctive reaction.  I need to continue to be vigilant and self-aware.  That’s my goal for tomorrow:  To be aware that situations might come up that trigger my urge to emotionally eat.  The be vigilant in my determination to not give into the urge.

I can do that for the day.


One response to “General Stuff

  1. Skye says:

    Fingers crossed about the CPAP machine! It sounds like you are doing wonderfully! And you even met the challenge of Dunkin’ Donuts and won! Excellent, excellent.

    Watching how you think about and through all this is inspiring and wonderful. You are really engaged and aware. That’s a winning strategy.

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