Not sure if it’s boredom, hormones or some other reason, but I’m having a blah, blues sort of day. It started out fine with a three hour Tai Chi class. I learned a lot and made some improvements in my form, etc. The breaks we took involved easy camaraderie and great stories.
I came home and opted for a lazy, relaxing day, reading a good book by one of my favorite authors. I can’t pinpoint when or why, but at some point that relaxing day turned into one of discontent. Although I continued to read, I was just plain grumpy as the hours passed.
Finally it was time for dinner so I took the ribeye steak I’d bought out of the fridge to warm. I still enjoy cooking and really wanted the meal to taste good. I used a rub that had some mild peppers in it for a subtle heat, then to build some contrasting flavors I sprinkled the barest amount of brown sugar on the meat before cooking it on my new grill pan. (It’s pretty windy out and that keeps my outdoor grill from heating properly.)
The new grill pan is fabulous. It seared the steak with lovely grill marks and my mouth watered when the meat was done. I cut off the appropriate small portion and savored the flavor and juicy tenderness.
When I was finished my stomach was just shy of full, but mentally I wanted more. The mind is powerful and I was tempted. However, I knew that if I ate any more I’d only have to throw it up. Talk about spoiling the meal.
So, instead of satisfying the mental craving and further tantalizing my taste buds, I reasonably acted and didn’t overeat. I’ve been pissy about it all evening.
Thankfully I don’t often experience this resentment. I probably won’t even experience it again tomorrow. I can handle it for tonight. In fact, I think I’ll go soak in the bathtub before bed. I’ll use the lavender bath salts so the water feels particularly silky against my skin and I can enjoy the lovely scent. Concentrating on other senses will distract me from missing food.
Weighty Matters 
Three hours is a long time for a class of any physical kind. I agree with Thea — it probably brought out feelings. Good for you for not giving in, even if you resented it.
Hope you’re feeling better.
All my yoga instructors tell their classes exercising the body can bring out emotions. They say go into child’s pose if overwhelming feelings occur. Three hours in Tai Chi? Think I know what’s happening, babe. Ride it out.