Weighty Matters

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Positive Support

on May 25, 2012

Ever since I decided last year to have weight loss surgery, I’ve received nothing but terrific support from everyone in my family as well as my friends.  This support and encouragement has meant the world to me.  The support continues to help every single day and I don’t even know whether the people around me realize the extent.

It’s wonderful that those around me think first about what I need and how they can aid me in my effort.  Whether it’s the encouraging word or a friend offering to share their lunch the day that I forgot to bring mine from home, people want me to succeed.   They respect the changes in my life.  When I’m finished with my portion at a meal, nobody suggests that I have one more taste or take just a little of this or a little of that because, after all, it won’t hurt.  They get that this is different from a diet.  I’ve been pretty up front and honest with them from the beginning that if I eat too much the food literally doesn’t sit well.  In fact, it can reach the point where it doesn’t remain seated at all.

Nobody’s tried to sabotage me either.  It amazes me that there are people, sometimes family or friends, who engage in sabotaging the healthy efforts of a loved one.  I suppose there are some who purposely set out to do this with malicious intent.  Maybe they’re jealous of the person’s success.  I’d like to think that most diet saboteurs don’t realize that’s what they’re doing with their actions.  At heart, I believe they’re motivated subconsciously by their own insecurities or neuroses.  Maybe it makes them feel bad when someone around them successfully loses weight because they themselves are not making progress.  When I regularly attended OA meetings, I heard people talk about “eating buddies” and the validation that they used to feel when someone else in their lives was also an overeater,  a food addict, or experiencing some other eating disorder.

This time, I have health buddies — a network of people who are cheering me on.  They’re all around and alongside me — ready, willing and able to help me however I need.  This time, I’m also much better about sharing what I need, asking for help, and letting them know what kind of help, too.  That’s been part of my learning process, too.  I was always reluctant to ask for help before because I felt like involving other people in my effort set us all up for more disappointment if/when I eventually failed.   This time, I know what I need and failure is not an option.  At the end of the road, there won’t be any disappointment to be found.  🙂


Progress report:

Seventeen weeks since surgery and I’m down 77 pounds!  Woot.  Many thanks to all of you who read my blog.  Whether you realize it or not, I count you as part of my support team, too!



6 responses to “Positive Support

  1. robena grant says:

    Amazing. Fabulous!!! I’m so glad you have a great support group. Keep on keeping on. : )

  2. Hope says:

    Congrats on 77 pounds! You rock!

  3. kipper43 says:

    Mary, I believe you have hit another milestone. Understanding it is ok to ask others for assistance is ok. This is the hardest thing to do,to me, because I don’t like it when others make a big fuss over me. Right now, it would magnify my weight issues. But when I have surgery, it will be different and a times I will have to ask for help.
    You are helping me in so many ways, thanks for all the truth you share with us good bad and the ugly. See you soon

    • Mary Stella says:

      Susan, I’m normally so self-reliant and independent that it is really difficult for me to ask for help. I don’t mind hiring people to remodel or fix things around the house or on the boat, but to ask for personal help? It’s a big deal. I didn’t actually ask my brother and sister-in-law. As soon as I told them I’d decided to have surgery, they said that they wanted to come down to be my post-surgery support team. I did ask a good friend if she could come down after them. She usually visits the Keys every year so it wasn’t a hardship. 🙂

      Your friends can help without fussing. You know they’ll be there for you however you need. I’m glad that you’re moving forward! See you soon.

  4. Nan says:

    You’re doing so wonderfully, Mary! I’m proud to be part of your support team! Saboteurs aren’t your friends–they’re just plain mean, so I’m glad you haven’t had any of that kind of stuff. You’re healthy and gorgeous, so keep on keeping on. We’re all here, cheering for you!

  5. Mary says:

    I’m so glad you are doing well, Mary. I never understood the sabotage thing either. It’s good that’s not a part of your life. I think it’s hard enough to lose weight and stay healthy. Speaking of which, 77 pounds is awesome. Way to go! You are going to feel so much better this summer. I’m happy for you.


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