Weighty Matters

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Drawn to Scale

Most days, stepping onto the scale is part of my morning routine.  I know that I’m very focused on the number as a measure of my success or lack thereof, depending on what the number reads.  Someday I’ll figure out a way to break that fixation.  I tried not weighing myself for two weeks, which spread to a month, but in the interest of complete honesty, doing so right at the time more fed into my denial.  It allowed me to ignore that some poor eating choices was leading to weight gain.

So, of course, I was over-the-moon delighted that I lost 7 pounds in the first week of Lean-Clean-Green.  Yes, I was just as, almost as, pretty excited that I felt so great, but the weight loss was the true validation.  On the one hand, frequent weighing grounds me in reality.  On the other, more negative hand, frequent weighing distracts me from what ought to be my main focus – eating in a way that is abstinent of compulsion and bingeing.

Again and again I remind myself that it’s about the behavior.  My weight is more like an indication.  It’s the end result of the eating disorder.  For me, anyway.  There are many, many people with this disorder who are not overweight.  I am not a number on the scale, yet I am drawn to that square piece of glass and metal with its electronic sensors.  That number can set me up with an “atta girl” affirmation or be used as a club with which to beat myself.

This is another aspect of overreaching need to embrace acceptance.  After all, since I am not on a diet, there is no end date or end weight that halts the effort.  Eating in healthy, non-compulsive, ways is a lifelong endeavor.  There is no magic weight that I’ll reach where I can proclaim, “Ta da, I’m done!”

Yes, I can celebrate milestones, like when I eventually make it into “One-derland” or when I also eventually hit what I’ve determined is the target number that I want to use as my baseline measurement.  I have that number in my head.  I’m thinking of it as the measure that I want to stay “at or around” for my own physical well being.

Other than that, it doesn’t really matter if the number on the scale is acceptable if the way that I’m eating is off track.  So, again, something to keep working on in my program of recovery.

How about you?  Are any of you scale and weight obsessed?

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Acceptance

In comments on the previous post, Forest Jane and I talked about how we can’t bring certain foods into the house because they’ll call to us all of the time and we’ll eat them.

I said that I can’t fool myself any longer and think that I won’t binge, in my own post weight loss surgery type of binge, on certain foods if I have them available in my house.  This has stayed with me in my  mind since.  The process of mulling this over caused some things to bubble up for me, even though the concept of keeping my house free of binge-trigger foods is nothing new.  It seriously could be the umpteenth time, or even the umpteenth squared time, that I’ve thought about this in the last 30 or so years.

You’d think I’d have gotten the point by now.  I have a little disgust twinge going on, but I’m also trying to remember that it doesn’t matter how often we think about something, or hear a suggestion, or even know intellectually that we should do something a certain way… if we aren’t ready, we aren’t ready, and we won’t make the connection.  Even if we make the connection, we can dig in our heels and resist.

Acceptance is the key, but I need willingness to reach that point.

I keep thinking that some day, somehow, I’m going to be able to eat “normally”, be a “normal” person when it comes to food.  That’s nothing new.  I know that for me, the only thing normal about my eating is that I will always be a food addict/compulsive overeater.  There is no cure.  I can only learn helpful things, tools, and means for keeping in recovery, even while accepting that I will never fully recover.

Today, this acceptance revealed an additional realization.  I’ve had it in my mind that when I get to goal weight, I’ll be fixed.  I won’t always have to do this, always be mindful, commit every day to working the program, and remain vigilant.  That is the worst kind of denial.  I can’t believe that I’ve continued to pretend otherwise for so long.

I get it. I don’t like it, but I get it.  There’s no time limit on the disease.

Mentally, I’ve known this for decades.  Today it feels like the rest of me is catching on, or at least catching up.

I have a lot of feelings about it.  I’m  a little glum in my acceptance, but at the same time pragmatic — it is what it is.  There’s resentment but I’m also ready to embrace it and keep moving forward.  While I haven’t worked through it to find the joy, I am catching a glimmer of grace in make these forward steps.

I’m grateful because, at the end of the day, I know that I can continue to recover.

 

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Mood and Food Connections

It’s been a crazy week.  Correction, it’s been a crazy couple of weeks — all work/industry related.  Lots of work, often unexpectedly, which took higher priority over the many projects already on my list of things that needed to be accomplished.  This all creates no small amount of related stress.  I’ve never been one who could just leave it all behind at the office when I leave.  Out of sight is definitely not out of mind.  I keep thinking about the circumstances, working on solutions or tactics, figuring on what needs to be done, what could be done better, what I can bring to the table in a positive way, how can I best serve.  All that kind of stuff goes on in my brain whether I’m at work actively devoting time to the situation or not.

Even some people who are not compulsive overeaters with eating disorders will stress-eat.  (Or stress drink, stress shop, stress whatever.)  Whether the behavior distracts from that which is creating the stress, or whether the food or other behavior is a form of self-medication, it is still not the healthiest coping mechanism in the world.  In my case, it can trigger repeated compulsive eating, even when I am no longer strongly in the throes of the stress incident/situation itself.  The long-term residual effects can be much more damaging than the temporary handful of chips or extra piece of chocolate.  Then the fact that I was compulsive creates further negative reactions because I get all kinds of pissed off at myself for not handling the situation without using food.

The mood-food connection is strong.  Sometimes I am stronger; sometimes I’m not.  In order to combat the increased stress and craziness of the last couple of weeks, I’ve tried to be good to myself whenever I can.  No, I’m not always eating right, but I’m trying to keep up with the two decent dog walks a day. (By the way, I finally ordered myself another Fitbit to replace the one I ruined by including it in the wash-dry cycle.  The replacement arrives by Tuesday so I’ll get back to logging my steps.  I find it’s very motivating to go for the minimum of 10K steps a day!)  I practice my Tai Chi which is not only good physical exercise, but good for easing stress.  I keep up with my daily readings and do my best to practice self-kindness and acceptance to replace beating myself up for imperfect actions.

This weekend, I’ve scheduled a facial which is so much more than taking care of my skin.  It’s very relaxing and good for my spirit.  I have a lot of chores around the house that need to be done, but I’m also going to take some time to go and paint pottery.  A little time in creative endeavors will also nourish my serenity and calmness.  I can focus on that and not on stressful things.  Keeping my fingers crossed for calm winds on Sunday so I can also take a boat ride.  It’s been too long since I splashed my boat and time on the water is one of the most relaxing things that I can do.

Food-wise, I have yummy fresh vegetables in the house from our organics delivery earlier this week.  I attempted to make a version of fried tomatoes last night.  The results weren’t great, but they weren’t totally inedible.  I also roasted some romanesco which is a very pretty cousin of broccoli and cauliflower.  I have fresh Brussels sprouts to cook in a favorite recipe too.  Eating nourishing, delicious food that aligns with my food plan reinforces good self-care.  The act of cooking said delicious food is relaxing.  I can connect mood and food in positive, not damaging ways.  Healthier all around.

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Update to the February 3rd Post about Facing a Fear:  I successfully faced my fear and climbed up the temporary tower.  My heart pounded the whole way and was still pounding when I stood up there the first time.  I was even more nervous about climbing down.  However, I did the return trip successfully as well.  So, I’m good to go and can participate in the activity.  I know that I’m not going to fall or break anything on the structure.  So, booyah to me!

 

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Realizations

I went to a two day International Workshop for Taoist Tai Chi this weekend.  The instructor trained with the master that originated the set that we do in this form and has practiced it for more than 30 years.  He says he’s close to 60.  If that’s the case, then he is a walking advertisement for the health benefits of practicing this soft martial art.  Not only does he not appear to have any of the aches, pains or normal things that affect us when we get older, but he also doesn’t look older than 35.

I derived a number of benefits from this weekend.  We had three sessions on Saturday, beginning at 10 a.m. and ending around 10 p.m. with lengthy breaks for lunch and dinner.  On Sunday we returned for another 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. session.  It’s a lot of Tai Chi for sure, but if you were there watching you could be excused for being bored watching 100 people do the same few things over and over and over and over and over and . . . you get the idea.

This was my first time attending an International Workshop and it wasn’t quite what I expected.  On Saturday, it seemed like the instructor did more talking than showing – which isn’t what we’re used to in our regular classes where there is comparatively little chatter and explanation but repeated demonstration of the moves.

Honestly, I started to get really impatient by lunch time.  Internally, I felt myself getting out of sorts and borderline annoyed.  It was ironic to me that we were spending so much time talking about the importance of being balanced in our movements when the program appeared to be so out of balance between actually doing Tai Chi and yacking about it.

Just the fact that I characterized it in my head as “yacking” shows that I was feeling sort of pissy and diminished what was being said.  Had I kept on with that attitude, I would have been in for a miserable weekend.

At some point, I moved from annoyance to acceptance.  The workshop would be what it would be, I decided, and told myself to get what I could from it when I could.  I turned off my internal bitching and opened myself up to whatever teaching was offered.

I’m so glad that I did.  When I got out of my own head and stayed in the moment, I found wisdom and insight all around.  As Saturday progressed, I saw that while we weren’t overall as actively engaged in doing moves from the set, we did plenty and what we did advanced our understanding and improved how we physically performed the moves.  Maybe we focused mostly on two foundation moves but the instructor showed us again how those two moves are part of almost every move in the entire set.  If we didn’t see it for ourselves right off, we sure did when we did an entire set with the instructor constantly pointing it out to us as we did our moves.

One thing we talked a lot about was expansion and contraction.  While the instructor wanted us to remember to expand and contract physically, I realized that my understanding had also expanded.  The awareness was so strong that it infused every movement.  When we did the set for a second time, with the focus on expanding and contracting and finishing each move before flowing into the next, time wise we slowed down, but the benefits were ever present.  I felt the good cardio effects as if I’d been taking a very brisk walk.  My entire body felt oxygenated in a way that I’d not experienced before with Tai Chi.  This was simply amazing.

From that point on, after experiencing that and the realization, all of my annoyance and impatience evaporated.  I truly was open to whatever happened.  I stopped gnawing on things mentally and just opened myself to it all.

In so doing, I kept learning.  We must have done a few hundred Wave Hands Like Clouds, but I was never bored.  I remained intently focused on the elliptical up and down, the weight shifts, and the timing of the steps.  It was great, just working it all into that one move.

At the end of the first long day when I got back to my hotel room, I was mentally and physically exhausted, but I couldn’t stop thinking about what I learned.  I took so much away from the process, realizing that I need to be willing to give up the upset when something isn’t what I expected or plans don’t unfold the way that I wanted.  There are whole other ways that life events can occur, ways over which I have no control, but they aren’t bad.  They just are — and when I open to them, great personal growth can occur.  Living in that kind of acceptance doesn’t mean lying down while someone flattens you with a heaving roller.  It means expanding from within to make room for whatever experience life offers.

It also reduces stress, discontent, annoyance, impatience and, did I mention, s-t-r-e-s-s?

I know that acceptance is often the answer, but knowing and putting it into practice are often at two equal and opposite ends.  It’s really good when the knowing and praticing come together.

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How Do Some People Do It?

You know those people who say they can eat one cookie, break off one piece of a chocolate bar and leave the rest for the next day and the next?

How do they do it?

I’m feeling a little whiny tonight.  I’m not and never have been one of those people for whom a simple, small taste was enough.  I always want more.  Even though I can’t physically eat the way that I once did, my brain often wants to.  That’s the strength of compulsion.

I want it to be easier, hence tonight’s mood.  My inner-Mary is complaining like a young teen, screaming, “It’s not fair-er-er-er!”

You know what?  It isn’t fair, but it is what is.  All of the whining in the world doesn’t change the situation, nor does it lead to reality.

This is yet another example of the credo that acceptance is the answer to all problems.  Time for me to stop complaining, work on my acceptance, and move on.  One day at a time.  I don’t have to like the situation, but I do need to accept it and act accordingly.

That is all.

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Triggers

I don’t think only people with eating disorders have triggers that push us to eat or do some other behavior, even when we might not consciously want to do so.  Product manufacturers or sellers have banked on that, and endeavored to capitalize on it since advertising was first created.   However, I think people without addictions or other types of disorders are better able to withstand the triggers when they occur.  They might even spot them happening when with compulsive eaters, the foods already in our mouths, down the gullet and on its way to being digested before we stop to think.

There are lots of different types of triggers that start the chain effect of eating. Some are sensory.  You’re walking along in the mall and the aroma of chocolate chip cookies, warm from the oven, wafts to you from that storefront you’re approaching.  Ohhh, they smell scrumptious and your sensory recall brings back the crunch and flavor of them melting in your mouth with chocolate-y deliciousness.  Don’t you instantly crave one or, if you’re a binge eater, a dozen?

You walk by a co-worker eating lunch, see what they’re eating and it looks soooo much better than the meal you packed hours before when you left the house for work.

Hunger is another sensory trigger.  Naturally, there’s real hunger that occurs when you haven’t eaten for awhile.  Unfortunately, there’s also mental hunger when your head tells you that you’re starving even though your body really doesn’t need food at that moment.

I learned something about situation or association triggers when I went through a smoking cessation program many years ago.  (Actually, 28 years ago last Monday was when I quit smoking.  Booyah!)  The instructor warned us that we  had many situations where we were accustomed to lighting up even if we didn’t crave a cigarette right at that time.  Once he made us aware of such things, I could immediately identify them in my own life.  Whenever I got in my car, I lit a cig.  When I sat down at my desk – yes, back then we could smoke at work – was another trigger.  If I went to a club I was used to holding a drink in one hand and a cigarette in another.  Lighting up after meals – another trigger.   Those situational events were almost harder to break than the very real, physical craving.  You see, they also taught us that there’s a definitive timeline to a nicotine urge.  It builds for up to ten minutes but when it peaks, it goes away, whether or not you have a cigarette.

I’ve never been able to find out if the same holds true for a hunger craving.

Certain food triggers are a given for me.  If I’m somewhere and food is displayed out on tables – like at a party, or if someone brings in a pile of candy to work or leaves snack foods up for grabs in the kitchen — I want it.  If I have certain foods in the house – they’re often on my mind.  Just the fact that they are in close, available, proximity can serve as a trigger.

Plus, if they’re easily accessible and I fall prey to an emotional trigger, then the foods also become the bullets.  Stress, anger, loneliness, external events that upset or sadden me can allll trigger the urge to eat.  Granted, I could binge on celery if that was the only thing in the house to eat.  While the behavior itself isn’t healthy, at least the food would be better for me than candy.

That thing about keeping trigger foods in the house and believing that I am strong enough in program to withstand going on a binge-fest on them?  It’s a myth of my own making.   I’m fooling myself if I think that’s possible.  To be honest, I’m a little sad and a little pissed off to admit this.   I’d really hoped that I’d become one of those people who can make a single candy bar last a week.  Program teaches us that acceptance is the answer to all of our problems.  This is a reality I need to accept.  I need to not have those trigger foods in the house.

I don’t know why this simple truth annoys me so much.  When my mother was alive, we completely understood that she needed to keep a dry house.  Come to think of it, she resisted the notion, too.  She always wanted there to be beer or wine in case we wanted it to drink — despite the fact that we told her time and again that we didn’t want to drink in her house.  We didn’t even care enough about it to order a drink if we were all out to dinner.  It was her thing to insist.  I guess nobody likes to admit that we have so little control over our own diseases and addictions that booze or drugs or food have power over us.

Intellectually, I get it.  Emotionally, I hate it.  Spiritually, I work toward accepting that if I want to avoid wounding myself and setting back my recovery, I need to be more aware of my trigger foods and keep them as far out of range as possible.

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The Shortest Distance

We all know the truism that the shortest distance between two points is the length of a straight line between them. I find this to be logical, practical and also a calming approach to more than just traveling distances. In fact, I’m embracing it in my attitude toward a stress-inducing situation at work. I was asked to coordinate a project that involves collecting information and articles from a whole bunch of other people, proofing/editing them, and getting to a designer for layout in a very short amount of time.

The clock is ticking on our deadline. While I have some of the material, I’m still waiting for a number of articles from various other people who are scattered around the country. These people don’t work for me. They don’t work for the organization that’s producing the report. They volunteer for committees for that organization. It’s not like I can crack a whip on them to get the material written, finished and submitted. So, there is a lot about this project over which I have no control and no power.

Enter the Serenity Prayer — Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. Every time I start to get tense, fretful and stressed over what material is still outstanding, I’m trying to step back, breathe and stay calm.

Some of the material comes to me in rough form, or in forms that I can’t use verbatim because the items are too long. Now, I could send it back to the writers and say, “That’s great, but could you cut it down, please?” However, mindful of that deadline, I decided to enact step two from the Serenity Prayer and incorporate the shortest distance-straight line approach. I find the courage (and the will) to change what I can, and take the shortest path to accomplishing what I need. In other words, I extrapolate information, shape it into the length we can use, and send it back to the writer with a nice, “This is great information. We needed it a little shorter. Is this okay?” message. I’m respectful of their original material and, let’s be honest, I’m saving them extra work to boot.

Judging from the response, this approach is working. I feel that I’ve struck a good balance. The extra work for me is offset by the reduced time needed to end up with a useable piece. This means less stress overall. It’s a win.

As I write this, it occurs to me that the Serenity Prayer is pretty linear and matter-of-fact. Accept what you can’t change; change what you can; be wise enough to discern the difference. This all serves to clear out the mind clutter. I don’t have time to worry. I just need to get the project done to the best of my ability. I also don’t have either the time nor the inclination to doubt that ability. Self-confidence is not the issue although that could get undermined by stress if I allow it to happen. I’m not. I’m just staying on the straight, A to B path from project inception to project completion. No detours.

Since I’m doing such a good job of not letting stress block the road, I’m also having good food days. This means that my recovery is also on that straight direct path.

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On An Upswing

This was an up and down sort of week. It felt a lot like Skye’s therapist’s analogy of riding waves of emotion. Right now I’m hanging ten on my surfboard, controlling the ride in the curl of the wave and powering through without wiping out.

Honestly, the work week has ended on an upswing. A friend and co-worker who passed away last year used to say he counted it as a good day when he fixed more than he broke. Patrick had that kind of wit and sense of humor. My week wasn’t perfect, but I definitely fixed more than I broke, achieved more than I didn’t. In addition to my day job, I had the monthly meetings of two organizations on whose boards I serve plus a bunch of other stuff to do. Sitting here now on a Friday evening and looking back, I can assess the ups and downs and know that, by far, there was a lot more good than not.

I think it’s important to recognize the good. All too often we give more time, attention and, ultimately, stress to the negative things. They consume us and suck up our energy. Tonight I think it will be helpful to switch that paradigm around. I’d like instead to not give too much of myself and my positive attitude to the negative but, instead, truly focus on and fuel the good. It’s sort of like the Good Wolf/Bad Wolf thing. The one that wins is the one you feed.

So, tonight I’m nourishing the good and positive things in my life, and that includes the good and positive things within myself. That is definitely worth the energy.

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It Isn’t a Diet. It’s My Life.

Yesterdays comments by Skye and June resonate a lot with me. Skye talks about needing to change her thinking. I know changing the way I think about myself, about my body, about my choices and, most of all, about my physical activity, has really made a difference. Unfortunately, I’m also well aware that I am not guaranteed that these changes are forever.

I could change back. The disease is that insidious. A little laziness for a couple of days and some, “I’ll make it up tomorrow” thinking could start my slide down the slippery slope of not keeping up with my fitness routines.

I absolutely already know that I’ve given myself permission to eat off of my plan too frequently lately. It’s okay once in awhile but the danger lies in grouping those once-in-awhiles so closely together that they are no longer “in a while” but every day. Like Skye, I need to again change my thinking. In this case I need to change my thinking back to where I was right after the surgery.

June, I hear you on the boredom and the just being tired of thinking about it all of the time. Oh sweet goodness do I know how that feels. Sometimes I am sick to death of thinking about calories and carbs, what to eat, what not to eat, how much to eat of what I should eat. Ayyyyieeeeee! Honestly, I don’t know how to keep it fresh and interesting. I wish I could say that there’s a magic technique but if there is, I haven’t learned it yet.

When it comes right down to it, it doesn’t matter how bored, fed up, tired or frustrated I am with the program. Regardless of the feelings, I just need to stay with the program anyway. I need to fight my own thinking when my thought patterns tell me I’m doing fine but my progress doesn’t reflect that in reality.

I watched a little more about the Super Dieters and read some other articles and commentary. The real thing that I not only need to mouth but need to grasp and hold on to — tightly with both hands — is that this isn’t really a program. What I’m doing isn’t a diet. It’s my new lifestyle. It’s my life.

It’s my life. Embracing this in my heart, mind, and body, is the key to continuing in a life of recovery versus a life of diseased eating. Understanding and living like this is my life equals acceptance.

Acceptance is always the answer. It’s right there in the Serenity Prayer — grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. I can’t change the fact that I have an eating disorder. The disease is chronic. Given the opportunity, it will always mess me up. When I make bad choices with food, I’m living in disease. I can, however, manifest the courage to change what I can. Just because I have the disease doesn’t mean that I can’t be stronger than it and continue to make the good choices.

I need to accept that I’m not going to reach goal weight and be done. The clock doesn’t run out. A buzzer doesn’t sound. Nobody declares game over. Goal weight is not the end of the journey. It’s the next important, big time milestone. Goal weight means that I then transition from the “losing” part of the journey to the “maintenance” phase. That phase is forever. Just like right now, losing weight is my life. Later on, maintaining my healthy weight and physical fitness regime will be my life.

So, these are good things for me to work on: Changing my thinking again and accepting that this is life. As I typed that, I had a flash of inspiration with a shift. When I start being ever loving tired of this routine and start complaining about this being my life, I need to affectionately give myself a mental head slap and say, “Hey. This is your life! This wonderful, more physically fit, able to move, able to breathe existence with all of the happiness and joy is your life!! Celebrate. You are one, lucky woman!”

You know what. I really am one lucky woman. I’m going to celebrate that with some exercise because I can! Today was supposed to be a weight training day. Instead, when I woke up I opted for the cardio walk DVD and told myself that I would do the weight training this evening. Then I got home, saw that I was over 10,000 steps already and sort of got more involved in chatting on the phone with various people and doing other things. Not doing my strength training is a poor choice. Two years ago, I wouldn’t have physically been able to do this routine, simple as it might be. I’m not going to pass up the opportunity to stay on track because, hey, this is my life!

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Rolling with What Comes Along

Well, not exactly. So yesterday was my lazy day to recover from all of the excitement, walking and hours of standing that made up for my unique New Year’s Eve experience. After writing the post, I had a lovely soak in the tub, scented by the great lavender bath salt bomb. The only problem was that the product was so natural, it included dozens of lavender seeds. These made the cleanup a little bit of a challenge, but it was worth it.

I settled in for a good, relaxed night’s sleep. Around 2:30 a.m. I was awakened by the gawdawful stench of doggy diarrhea. My poor Nat didn’t even have time to whimper and wake me up, that’s how bad it was for him. Between waiting for his system to settle a little and cleaning up, it was a good hour before I got back to sleep. 4:30 a.m. – round two – but this time, he was able to warn me and I got him outside in time. 6:30 a.m., yes again. That time I just stayed up.

There are many reasons that I love my job. One of them is the fact that, since we are an animal facility as an organization, everybody understands and cherishes the importance of our animal family members. Whether the finned and flippered ones at work, or the furry ones in our homes, they matter. If one needs to go to the vet’s office, we can take the time as paid sick time, just like we would if it was a human child. I also have remote access so I can log onto my computer at home and connect to our work servers and a mirror of my desktop. This, coupled with my bosses’ understanding, made it possible for me to stay home, monitor Nat’s condition, and wait for his vet appointment. I could do this and still accomplish a great deal of work. It was a great thing, too, because Nat had to rush outside at least three more times before the afternoon vet visit.

He has a bacterial infection and is now on antibiotics and anti-diarrhea meds. They are already helping. Tomorrow, he’s coming into work with me so that I can continue to monitor him and get him outside if he has a sudden, pressing urge. Again, that’s how we operate with regards to our furry family members. It’s a blessing.

Dealing with a sick dog didn’t get my new year off to a bright, shining start, but it is what it is. I made the best of it by being productive on work projects. I was also able to accomplish my exercise. Nat was still enthused about going out for a couple of walks, as was his sister Pyxi. (Thank goodness his illness is bacterial and not contagious. It’s tough enough to deal with one sick pup. I don’t need two!) At the end of the day, enough time had passed since the last bout, that I felt comfortable leaving him for a short amount of time and I got out for a short, five mile bike ride. After dinner I did my weight training routine and some extra in-home walking to make my 10,000 steps commitment.

Through it all, I remained in a good place with my food and am serene in my emotions. Sure, the unplanned illness created challenges, often messy and smelly ones, but that doesn’t mean that I have to get so upset that I eat over them. I was concerned for my sweet boy, but concern doesn’t need to lead to a binge or eating inappropriately. when stuff happens, it’s important to roll with it, get it handled, and go on with life as desired.

Tonight as I prepare for bed, I’m pleased to know that I did all that.

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