Weighty Matters

Just another WordPress.com site

Oct 22

The Impulse to Eat

by Mary Stella

It’s 9 p.m. on the first day of my seven day reboot and I’ve had a good day. I stuck to the plan and did not deviate with compulsive eating. Protein smoothies, yummy organic soups, a sugar free cherry ice. Everything was delicious but to quote a saying from OA, nothing tastes as good as abstinence feels. I also enjoyed some green tea and kept hydrated with water throughout the day.

I picked up the pups from the boarding facility after work and spent time playing with them at home. After feeding them, it was still such a lovely evening that I set out for a bike ride. I logged between eight and nine miles. All told, right now I feel pretty good for the day.

Do any of you use the MyFitnessPal app? I hadn’t logged my food for awhile and recently downloaded an update. Love the improvements! I am particularly fond of the scanner that reads the bar code on products and gives me the nutritional data. So much more convenient than having to input the numbers myself or scroll through the database.

Even though I had a successful day, I won’t say that sticking to my abstinence and plan was a slam dunk. I was very aware of how easily the impulse to eat catches my attention. For example, someone left the rest of a bag of granola in the kitchen in the “If it’s here, it’s up for grabs” location. I went into the kitchen to make a cup of tea, saw the bag of granola and reached for it. My response was that automatic. Thankfully, I stopped myself, got the hot water I wanted, and left the room.

I don’t know how many times throughout the day that I get food impulses, but I know it happens a lot. It sort of sucks, to be honest. Part of the struggle is armoring myself against the thoughts. These aren’t the same things as physical urges I used to experience when I was in the process of quitting smoking. I wish they were. One of the most effective pieces of information I gained during the smoking cessation programs was that there is a timeline to the physical urge for nicotine. More importantly, that urge will pass whether or not you smoke. The whole arc lasts about 10 minutes, but if you make it through the peak when the urge is strongest, the desire will ease. (Side note: I’m approaching my 27th anniversary of quitting smoking. Booyah!)

Unfortunately, the food obsession doesn’t behave in the same way, so I work on other methods like redirecting my attention, distracting myself with another activity, substituting something else like a drink of water or tea, or just trying to ignore the urges. The practice of just saying no also comes into play.

Today, I was successful. I hope that success breeds more success. It might happen one impulse at a time to build one day at a time, but I’m ready to give it all my best shot again tomorrow.

General Musings My Progress The Past is the Past

5 Comments »
Oct 17

Things Not to Worry About

by Mary Stella

I’m taking a trip soon. I’m looking forward to it without even a moment of internal whining about the physical discomfort and mental stress. I really like how much less stress I have in my life. Losing weight took off a load in more ways than one.

Here are just a couple of things that I don’t need to worry about any more. The next flight won’t be the one where an airline attendant tells me I need to buy a second seat. It won’t matter if, somehow, every seat belt extender on the plane is missing. I don’t need one. I won’t horrify the person in the middle seat if I squeeze into their aisle. When I pick up my rental car, I know I’ll be able to buckle the seat belt. It won’t matter if the chairs at the reception are sturdy metal, wooden fold-ups or outdoor resin plastic. They won’t break beneath my weight. I won’t see concern or barely-hidden shock on my family members’ faces. Any surprise I see will be the good kind. I haven’t seen them since a couple of months after my surgery. I’ve lost more than 110 pounds since that time.

Just those few changes make travel even more enjoyable. I can focus on the anticipated joy of seeing family and enjoying a happy occasion. Yes, I had fun even when at my heaviest, but it was always diluted to some extent by the ever present awareness of my hugeness and anticipation of difficulties to overcome.

Today, I’m grateful for undiluted happiness and releasing the worry about so many things.

Body Matters General Musings My Progress

2 Comments »
Oct 14

Not Too Old

by Mary Stella

Yesterday a friend and I volunteered to be role-players in the Sheriff’s Office’s active shooter simulation training sessions. Held at the high school, the scenarios were devised for law enforcement to respond to a call of shots fired. My friend and I portrayed teachers. The training captain instructed us to make things as difficult and stressful for the responding officers as possible. We needed to be scared, loud and yelling at them to help us and the wounded students. The training team arranged the room and, let me tell you, they did a great job. The wounds and blood on the “students” might have been fake but when you walked into the room and saw the people lying on the floor or propped against the wall, it looked like realistic carnage.

I embraced my instructions and threw myself into the performance. Friends, in the words of the deputy who was the first responder in the first drill, I was a world class pain in the ass. (And proud of it.) He said it with great admiration after the drill was over. 🙂

On the second drill, the responders were all senior personnel and very old school. I was successful at stressing out the earlier deputy. These captains did not stress in the same way. When they got to the door of the room and I started screaming at them to help us, please help us, they tried to guide me out of the room and out of their way so they could continue in after the shooter. As earlier directed by the training captain, I resisted and screamed at them that I wouldn’t go because I had students who were injured and hiding.

Folks, two of those captains grabbed me, hauled me through the door and put me on the ground in no time flat. It was intense. The officers stepped over me and went after the shooter. I checked the scrape and bruise on my elbow and went back into the room to resume my performance.

In talking to one of the training team, who asked if I was okay, I joked that I might feel it a little more a little later. He assured me that I would, probably as soon as I came down off of the adrenalin high. Yes, my adrenalin was pumping right at the moment. Later that evening, I admit that my muscles were a little sore and an ice pack on my bad knee felt really good. The thought crossed my mind that some would question why the hell I volunteered for this activity at my age. I had this little epiphany when I thought that I hope to never again say in my life, “I’m too old for this.”

I had a blast running around and acting my part. It was exciting, fun, and I was part of an important service to the community. The Sheriff’s Office runs these drills because this isn’t something that the personnel can adequately train for in the classroom. Participating in the simulation puts them as close to real situations and events as they can get. Did I experience some aches and soreness? Yes, but my ability to bounce back has greatly improved. A few ibuprofen and a nice hot shower put me to rights. Clearly I wasn’t compromised since the dogs got walked twice today and I took a six mile bike ride.

I’ve decided that “too old for this” is more about attitude, at least at this time of my life. If I don’t think I am, then I’m not. I’m going to embrace the “can do” as much as possible moving forward and keep involving myself in whatever activities I think I’ll enjoy — with the emphasis on the “active” part of activity.

I’ve already volunteered for the next simulation training, whenever it might be.

General Musings My Progress

3 Comments »
Oct 13

Shopping

by Mary Stella

I can’t believe it’s been more than a couple of days since I posted. I know I’ve had a string of days where I’ve been so tired at night that I couldn’t face turning on the computer and thinking, let alone write anything.

The Just Saying No worked well some days in some situations and not so much in a couple of others. However, I’ve been better overall food-wise and it makes me feel less like I was beginning to veer out of control. One step at a time. One day at a time.

I decided to take a day trip to Miami yesterday to go shopping. With my friend still staying with me, I knew she would be happy to let out the dogs and feed them. This meant that I could take my time and not have to rush home. I am going to a family wedding soon. Even though I already have a dress that I could wear, I just felt like having something new. Plus, I hoped to find some capris or shorts at clearance prices.

I’m sort of in a weird stage with sizes. The weight number is creeping down but the bike riding is definitely working off inches, as we’ve discussed before. My friend had a pair of 16W capris and size 18 misses shorts. My 18W shorts are definitely loose and I was shocked to find that her 16Ws fit me, as did the misses size shorts. So, off to shop I drove.

In the past I believe I’ve discussed my misanshoppic tendencies. I know I can only stand a couple of hours at most in a big mall and am much better off if I go to specific smaller stores. We started out with two favorite specialty stores — Lush and Sephora. Lush is small and does all these handmade, natural bath and body products. Bath bombs, bubble bath balls, and bath melts in wonderful fragrances. Massage bars, scrubs, lotions, cosmetics — the list is amazing. I selected several bath bombs that dissolve in the tub, a new massage bar, a shower scrub that I love and some great lip balm.

We then moved onto Sephora, which is almost as addictive. This amuses me because I don’t wear a lot of makeup. I start the day with a tinted sunscreen/moisturizer/slight foundation product to protect my skin with its 30 spf. During the week, I add light eye shadow and that’s it. If I go out to dinner or have other plans at night or the weekend, I do a light coat of mascara, maybe a little more eyeshadow, and do more on my face with Bare Minerals. Still, I always manage to find new, fabulous products that I love whenever I walk into Sephora. This time, I came out with a fantastic under eye concealer stick, some eyeshadow, and a tinted spf 15 lip balm gloss.

Two stores and I needed a break so we grabbed a cold drink and light snack while we talked for a bit. Then it was time to look for the dress. Gladiators probably entered the Coliseum with less trepidation than I approach a big department store like Macy’s. I feel like I’m running a gauntlet while I dodge the salespeople waving their perfume samples and trying to trap me at a counter for a makeover. I practically marched myself to the escalator to get up to the Women’s Department.

All I can say is that it was worth the trip. I found an absolutely wonderful dress that fits me great and flatters my curves. It’s from Ralph Lauren’s line for Women. Oh here. Take a look.

photo

Yes, I know that the bare feet with the stark sandal tan lines complete the look.

I love this dress. More importantly, I love the way that I look in it. The material is soft and comfortable. The ruching (if that’s how it’s spelled) at the side really flatters. You can’t see then, but there are insets down the sides that give the dress even more style. Love. Love. Love. It was the first dress I tried on and, even though I tried on another dress in a deep wine color that looked lovely on, I knew I was leaving with my first choice.

To be completely honest, there are some lumps and bumps, so with the dress over my arm, we went over to the department where they sell Spanx and other “smoother” garments. I don’t think anyone calls them girdles or foundations any more. I have a full Spanx slip but it’s now a little big on me, so I wanted something more suffocating restricting smoothing.

The saleswoman was very helpful as she picked out a smoothing slip by a company other than Spanx. She carefully explained that it would be tight going on but I should sort of roll it up like underwear. It was decidedly more difficult than I expected and I thought I’d have to give up and go to a larger size. Then I realized there was an odd attachment she’d forgotten to mention. I can only describe it as a crotch strap. Constructed with the same hook and eye gizmos as a bra, it fastens between the legs to keep the garment from rolling up but it can still be unsnapped for when one needs to pee. No wonder I couldn’t get the garment all the way in place. It was at least marginally easier once I unsnapped the strap and straightened everything out.

If you’ve never worn a smoother, there’s a few things you should know. They do, indeed smooth. They are not only worn by overweight women but also by some of the most slender — like actresses and models. They are also, apparently, terrific for your posture, possibly because it’s very hard to bend over and continue to breath. I am fairly sure I will not suffocate myself while wearing it and, damn it all, it made the dress look even better on me.

After that, I half-heartedly looked through some clearance racks but didn’t see anything. We then proceeded to department store number two – J.C. Penny. I grabbed a couple of things from the Women’s sizes and a couple of things from the Misses Department. I couldn’t find anything small enough in W and the things from Misses didn’t suit for a variety of reasons.

At that point I hit a wall. In the grand scheme of things, I am a shopping lightweight. There are simply too many departments crammed with too many racks and too many people wandering around. I’d had enough and was more than happy to call it an afternoon and head home.

Before I actually hit the island chain, I stopped at a smaller shopping center and ran into Kohl’s to see if I could find a good pair of jeans and, maybe, some of those clearance sale priced capris. I cannot tell you how long it’s been since I owned a pair of 16W jeans, but I have them now! No capris, but I added a cute graphic “tee” with three quarter length sleeves and that was good enough for this trip!

I know that I’m going to need to invest some time investigating different departments in these larger stores. Honestly, more and more I find that it’s a challenge for me to find clothes that fit for the happy reason that my body has become too small for the departments in which I’m used to shopping. It’s a great problem to have and I’m not complaining. I’m just dreading the learning process. I really want to do a day with a personal shopper at one of the good big stores but don’t feel that I should spend the time or the money until I hit goal weight. Perhaps I’ll even wait until after my skin removal surgeries. It’s on my Promise List, but until the right time, I’ll muddle through on my own or with assistance and moral support, from friends.

Body Matters My Progress

5 Comments »
Oct 9

Just Saying “No!”

by Mary Stella

I have Nancy Reagan chanting in my head right now. Just Say No. Just Say No. For those of you too young to remember the Reagan presidency years, Mrs. Reagan campaigned against illegal drug use and promoted Just Say No to encourage kids not to give in to peer group pressure to try drugs.

So, why am I doing this today? It’s October and one of my co-workers brought out her plastic pumpkin, loaded it with miniature candy bars, and placed it on the kitchen counter in our office building. Another friend keeps a stash of chocolate in her drawer for all of us. These are dangerous times for me, my friends. I love chocolate and such easy, convenient access is not good.

In the grand scheme of things, a single miniature piece of chocolate is not bad. However, since I’m already struggling with a slower weight loss and the resulting frustration, etc., one thing leads to another and to another and to another. I’m a compulsive overeater and can quickly get out of control. True, that with weight loss surgery, it’s not like I can pack away food by the pound, but even smaller deviations can further slow my positive progress. Those small pieces can act like the little rock under the larger stone that throws everything off balance. I saw this happening yesterday and the small portion of chocolate set up a greater craving for a chocolate cookie. It’s a slippery slope.

To protect myself for today, I need to stay away from the chocolate and not even risk starting the process with a single piece. Every time I walk into the kitchen (also the location of our copier and mail boxes), I look at that grinning pumpkin and am tempted. That’s when I channel Nancy Reagan and say to myself, “No!”

I’m really the only one who can derail my effort by taking the wrong action. It stands to reason that I’m the only one who can keep myself moving forward in the right way. To that, today, I say, “Yes!”

General Musings My Progress

5 Comments »
Oct 8

Public Eye

by Mary Stella

Early American Idol winner Ruben Studdard is a contestant on the new season of Biggest Loser. For some reason, this has me thinking of other obese celebrities I’ve been aware of in the past. Shelly Winters. Roseanne Barr. Jackie Gleason. Drew Carey. John Goodman. Oprah Winfrey. Aretha Franklin. The list really is endless.

I remember when a lot of entertainers played to their weight, or at least appeared to. They were material for countless monologues by late night talk show hosts and stand up comedians. They often made fun of themselves. As an overweight person, I never understood how they could stand it. I’d cringe inside whenever someone made a fat joke about one of them or, as often happened, to them when sharing the set or stage.

It was almost worse when one of them embarked on a successful weight loss effort. Yes, they’d get great acclaim for the pounds they’d drop. I can still remember when Oprah dropped something like 60-70 pounds on the Optifast program. She arrived on stage towing a little red wagon behind her on which they’d piled the equivalent of her weight loss in actual animal fat. I think she had on a long overcoat. With pure joy, she whipped open that coat to reveal her skinny self in a black sweater and tight jeans. What a moment!

She gained it all back and I can’t help but think that it was a more emotionally miserable time for her knowing that she was under intense public scrutiny. I hate it if I think that even one person eyes what’s on my plate and could possibly be assessing or, horrors, judging the choice. I’d want to crawl into a deep cave (with electrical power, running water, a bathroom and internet access, of course, but still a cave) and not come out into society if I was a person who lived her life as a celebrity in the public eye.

On a much, much, much smaller scale, I really craved a cookie tonight. I actually felt a little weird buying a small package and bringing it home. A friend has been staying with me for a few weeks. Living alone, nobody knows what food I buy and have in the house. Having someone around is different. It’s amazing how quickly I reverted to old thinking — the idea that if I make a food choice that’s inappropriate, I need to hide it. I was a champion sneak eater, a skill I developed when I was pretty young. I could open squeaky drawers in my family’s kitchen, open up a package of cookies and eat some without anyone hearing me in the other room. One of the things that I just realized is that I overeat more when I conceal foods. It’s like I need to eat it all and faster before someone catches me or discovers my secret.

Part of improving my relationship with food means being open and honest about it – in all respects. A big part of being successful on the journey overall has been that I’ve been as open and honest about it as I could. Hence the whole writing of this blog. In a way it’s me taking this trip in the public eye.

I just reread this post. You know, where I thought I was going with it at the beginning is not at all where I ended up. I thought I was going to muse on my empathy for overweight celebs. Yes, I have that empathy, but the writing process uncovered different stuff. The whole thing about eating more when I eat in secret is not something I’ve been in touch with, that I can recall. I’m glad that I got there tonight. It’s something I really need to think about and, more importantly, use to aid my recovery.

In the meantime, just to circle back around, I hope that Ruben succeeds on Biggest Loser. More importantly, I hope he is able to maintain his success, whether in private or in the public eye.

General Musings My Progress

2 Comments »
Oct 5

Measuring Down

by Mary Stella

A friend is still staying with me for a few days. I asked her if she’d help me do my measurements tonight. I haven’t checked them since January. It’s hard to be accurate when I try to do it myself and I never seem to think of it when friends are visiting for just an evening. It’s been on my mind to do this for a few days and I finally remembered.

Wow. All I can say is wow. I wish I’d taken them a couple of weeks ago and then again tonight to see if there’s been much change since I started riding the bike, but still. The reduction of inches in every part of my body is pretty significant.

To set the scene, here are the measurements, in inches, that were taken of me by a friend in February 2012, a few weeks after my weight loss surgery:
Neck 17.5; Bicep 20; Forearm 14; Chest (Boobs) 58; Waist 57; Hips; 70; Thigh 33.5; Calf 19.

I took them a few times throughout the year, but only logged the numbers again in January 13 on my one year surgiversary. Here are those numbers, after dropping a significant amount of weight and increasing my exercise from a formerly sedentary existence:
Neck 15; Bicep 18; Forearm 10.50; Chest (Boobs) 48; Waist 49; Hips 56.50!!; Thigh 31; Calf 17.50.

Do you SEE that drop in number in my Hips?? I think when I started that measurement was so high because I had so much weight in hips, ass and, also, some lower belly had to be included or at least couldn’t be completely separated.

Now here are the numbers from tonight:
Neck 13.5; Bicep 12.75; Forearm 10; Chest (Boobs) 44; Waist 43; Hips 51.5; Thigh 25.5; Calf 14.75.

Did I say Wow earlier in the post? Because I’m now completely invested in this numbers game, I have to do the math. Here are the calculations for inches lost from February 2012 to tonight:

Neck -4; Bicep -7.25; Forearm -4; Chest (Boobs) -14 (Yet I’ve gone from wearing a D cup to a DD); Waist -14; Hips -18.5; Thigh -8; Calf -4.25.

If I add the total number of inches lost, it comes to 74. 74 inches!

This is nearly mind-boggling. Not only have I lost pounds and pounds of fat, but we know that I’m also building muscle. I know I see it in the mirror, see it in my clothes, feel the loss in the way that I move. Sometimes, however, when I’m frustrated about the other number not moving down the way that I like, it really, really helps to check these numbers. I believe I’m going to set a reminder on my phone so that I take my measurements again in another month. A month from now, my overall system could begin moving again and I’ll have dropped enough pounds to make me happy. If I haven’t, then seeing evidence of loss in my measurements will definitely keep my attitude in the right frame of mind.

Body Matters My Progress

5 Comments »
Sep 29

Frustrated

by Mary Stella

I’ve been absent from the blog for a few days. I didn’t realize just how many until I looked at the calendar today and the date of the last post. Yes, I’ve had the normal busy life at work and yesterday I took a great day away from everything and took a boat ride out to Ft. Jefferson in the Dry Tortugas (about 70 miles west of Key West). No phone service no high tech anything. Just miles and miles of clear, jewel-toned water and endless blue skies. I’ll share some photos later, but I wanted to get this written part of the post up while it’s on my mind.

Folks, I’m eating the way that I’m supposed to. I’m exercising the way I’m supposed to and have even ramped it up with the bike. I cannot get the scale to move down. I’m frustrated, annoyed and frustrated again. This is not a good place for me to be in emotionally. It absolutely makes me want to eat. How contrary is that?

Compulsive overeating is, indeed, a contrary disorder.

I know intellectually that I simply need to keep doing what I’m supposed to do and, eventually, the weight will drop. I know this, but often emotions are stronger than intellect. At the very least, they’re more dramatic.

So, I’ve now dumped it out here and hope to leave the emotions on the page, so to speak. I’m about to go out for an 8-10 mile bike ride and then come home and spend the day doing things around the house. I’m also going to whisper affirmations in my head and remind myself that eating inappropriately will not advance me to my goal. While I pedal, I’ll think of something delicious and healthy that I can make for dinner tonight. I need to stay on track. That’s the bottom line.

Thanks for listening reading!

General Musings My Progress

8 Comments »
Sep 25

The Times When It’s Easier

by Mary Stella

By “It” I mean the whole practice of taking smaller portions, eating slower, and feeling the satisfaction. It still surprises me when doing everything right, and by right I mean according to plan, isn’t fraught with anxiety, overthinking and the intermittent metaphorical “white knuckling” to remain abstinent and on track.

Today I attended a chamber of commerce luncheon. Friends saved me a seat at the table and we all went through the buffet line. It’s not like the restaurant presented an overwhelming variety of choices They had spinach salad or make your own Caesar, fresh baked rolls, roasted red potatoes, garlic string beans and roast chicken. Okay, there was a choice with the chicken — leg/thigh or breast/wing. 🙂 The challenge at any buffet or in any meal, is portion control. Even though I know my stomach capacity can’t handle large portions and my weight loss plan bans them anyway, there are plenty of times when my eyes literally are bigger than my stomach. I still often put too big a serving of too many different things on my plate.

At this lunch, I did the opposite and it wasn’t a big, agonizing, stressful thing to do. I also didn’t resent doing it. I took the equivalent of a couple of bites of lettuce and dressed it sparingly. I skipped the roll. The roasted red potatoes were cut in small chunks, so I spooned a few on my plate. One not-too-big tongs-full portion of green beans came next and then a chicken leg/thigh combo.

Really small portions and huge amount of white space left on the plate. I chatted with my friends before the program started, but paid attention to the way that I was consuming my food. When I’m not with others, I often forget to eat as slowly as recommended but this time I was being social so I didn’t chew and swallow too quickly.

Even with smaller amounts to begin with, I didn’t finish everything on my plate. Yet, I had plenty and felt satisfied! On the way out I even thought, “Wow, that was easy.” Then I wondered, “Why can’t I do that all of the time?”

The truth is that I can do it all of the time. I just need to remind myself and be aware at every meal. I think it will help if I also remember that it doesn’t have to be hard or a challenge. Like today, choosing the correct foods in the appropriate amounts can, indeed, be easy.

General Musings My Progress

2 Comments »
Sep 22

Stalled or Self-Sabotage?

by Mary Stella

Yesterday I read a truly outstanding, revelatory blog post by Skye. I couldn’t possibly do it justice in my description here, but you can go and read it too at her blog.

Skye talks about power, protection and progress and how she often diminishes herself, her strengths and talents, largely out of a need to protect herself.

This really made me think. It touched something inside that I need to tug out and study. I have been musing a lot about where it’s my body that’s had me sort of stalled in my weight loss, or if I’m self-sabotaging my progress. Am I having a few more incidents of eating compulsively strictly because I have the eating disorder, or am I using my disease to interfere with my weight loss success?

I’m sort of in a tug-of-war with myself. On the one hand, I bought my bike and am riding it regularly. Whether riding to Tai Chi class and back yesterday, or the half hour bike ride I did a short time ago, I’m definitely increasing the amount of exercise. On the other hand, I know for a fact that I should not buy that snack mix. Even if it has healthy nuts and raisins in it with a sprinkling of chocolate pieces, it is not a good food for me to have in the house because there is a great likelihood that I will snack on it too often.

I bought a bunch of fresh fruit and veggies to prepare for meals this week. I also gave in to the buy one-get-one-free on English Muffins. In my brain at that moment of decision was the thought that, everyone once in awhile it’s okay for me to have a little bit of carbohydrates and at least these were the whole grain, low fat variety. Honestly, these would be okay if I ate half of one. Believe it or not, just that little restraint can be a struggle for me.

Anyway, I am really wondering whether I’m self-sabotaging and purposely slowing myself down. If so, why? I do not have the slightest idea of why I would be reluctant to achieve goal weight. I am so incredibly happy — joyful, elated even — with the progress I’ve made so far. There is no payoff to me in not seeing my way through to the end. There is nothing that I fear about being healthy and at goal weight. At least, there is nothing that I can identify.

This is an interesting conundrum to ponder. In between Skye’s terrific post and her follow up sharing about the rebound and my own musing, I was reminded of the Marianne Williamson piece that says:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.’ We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

We are all meant to shine. I love this idea.
So, for now, whenever I am tempted to make a poor food choice or grab for a little more of even a healthy snack, I’m going to ask myself why. Why do I want to eat that? What’s the payoff? Why do I think I want that more in that moment than I want to keep making progress toward my goal.

Body Matters General Musings My Progress

2 Comments »
«Older Entries
Newer Entries »
Blog at WordPress.com.