Body Matters | Weighty Matters

Fooling My Brain

by Mary Stella

Very often I think that I’m hungry, am positive that if I don’t have a particular food right that very second, I will starve. Yes, that’s overdramatized, but sometimes it’s close to how I feel. It’s brain or head hunger, of course. I’m not actually in danger of starvation. My brain wants what it wants when it wants it and convinces my body to go along.

I’ve fallen into that trap more often in recent weeks. It either happens with specific foods or with the quantity of food. I’m not eating huge binge amounts. Thank goodness, the restricted stomach prevents that intake. However, I could eat a reasonable portion, wait a while, decide that I must have more and then squeeze in additional foods.

I honestly could demolish a package of cookies that way, one cookie at a time spread out over an afternoon and evening. Mental hunger is powerful.

Determination not to give into mental hunger must be even more powerful. Those of you old enough to remember the Reagan Administration will recall Mrs. Reagan’s campaign of “Just Say No” to drug usage. In this case, I must just say no to my own brain cravings.

Often, I take to joshing around with my brain. Instead of scolding myself when the food thoughts attempt a coup, I give myself a mental nudge along the lines of, “Oh come on. Don’t be silly. You don’t really need that (fill in the inappropriate food).” It helps. It makes the whole process less difficult than if I argued with myself or made myself a victim of my eating disorder. I have to walk away from dramatic internal monologues.

This morning while preparing lunch to bring to work, I realized that I was out of nuts. I like to bring nuts for a mid-morning snack. For a few moments I started to get a little, well, nutty about it. Thankfully, I stopped, did an eye-roll at myself and got a grip. For months, I satisfied the mid-morning hunger with a single, low fat cheese stick – of which I had several in the fridge. I plopped one in my lunch bag. Problem solved.

I fooled my brain. Serenity returned. I’ve continued through the day so far without food or eating difficulties. The cheese stick was fine mid-morning. My lunch was the perfect, healthy, appropriate meal. I just enjoyed a small apple for the mid-afternoon snack. I’m meeting a friend for dinner out and already know what I’m ordering. Likewise, I know what’s in the house for my reasonable evening snack. It’s all good.

Body Matters General Musings My Progress

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No Can’t Do

by Mary Stella

Sometimes I think I’ll never lose weight again.

Sometimes I worry that I’ll regain all of my weight.

Then I give myself a mental head smack. I tell myself to knock off the negative thinking.

Oy the things we say to ourselves. The endless ways in which we strive to kick ourselves when we’re down. You’d think that we’d do whatever we could to avoid inflicting additional pain when we already feel bad but, instead, we pick up these things, wield them like clubs, and beat ourselves up with them some more.

Nasty bit of business, that cycle.

Negative thinking leads to negative action or reaction, like eating inappropriately or languishing in bed until it’s too late to take a longer walk before work. The good news is that positive thinking supports positive action. Positive action bolsters positive thinking. That’s the cycle that I need. It’s the one that keeps me on the healthy road.

Today I slept in a little but, since it was Sunday morning, it didn’t matter how long I stayed in bed. I still had time to take the dogs for a longer walk. That’s how we started the day. I felt much better mentally for having met an exercise need. It’s a building block and I need more of that, consistently.

The truth is that there is no “Can’t do” in my life. When my disease says I can’t, I need to counter. It’s a never ending lesson and I absolutely need constant reminders.

Eat well. Exercise. Take care of my spirit. Eat well. Exercise. Take care of my spirit. Eat well. Exercise. Take care of my spirit.

Can do.

Body Matters General Musings The Past is the Past

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Ten Day Break? Wow.

by Mary Stella

I’m stunned that it’s been ten days since I wrote a post. Time flies when one is incredibly busy at work, has numerous after-work commitments, and generally gets home too tired to think straight, yet alone coherently write.

Mea culpa. My apologies!

In addition to the reasons listed above, I’ll also cop to a subconscious need to avoid admitting some things. I believe so strongly in keeping it real on this blog that when something came up that I wasn’t ready to talk about, I stayed away. I also hate feeling like I’m whining about the same old same old. I haven’t been feeling good about my progress. A lot of diseased thinking has taken hold of my brain. So, it all added up to me not feeling good about me. However, I didn’t want to come on and say that, partly because of that “no whining” preference and partly from denial.

My behavior feels like the internet blog equivalent of avoiding class reunions or other gatherings because I didn’t want old friends to see me looking like a cow.

Pffffffffffffffft. (The typed equivalent of blowing a raspberry at myself.) Honestly, that’s junk thinking on all counts. I work on my issues here. I process crap through writing. So, not blogging here means I wasn’t dealing. Not dealing means not being honest with myself.

Still and all, I might have been away for 10 days, but I certainly have been thinking about my disease and food issues. A lot. Some might say I’m thinking too much about them and doing too little. I don’t disagree. I’ve felt like I’m not in control of my food choices. I hate it when I feel like I can’t control my eating. I hate it even more when I know that stressful situations are triggering the eating. It’s my coping mechanism. Harmful as compulsive eating is to me, it’s still a tool that I use to cope when my emotions are rocketing around.

This old behavior makes me think that I haven’t learned a damn thing in almost three years since my weight loss surgery. Then I start feeling like a failure, which is total, steaming bull crap.

That’s the problem with stinking thinking. We start to believe, or act as if we believe, the crappy things we say to and about ourselves. I know perfectly well that I’m not a failure and I’ve learned a helluva lot about my disease, my issues, etc. Like Hope and others said, even if I never lose another pound, I’ve still succeeded. That ~~might be~~ is true, but it takes a while to absorb that into my psyche and truly believe.

The last few days have been better. Less stress, less compulsive eating. Not always eating as healthy as usual, but I’m improving. I got physically lazy too, particularly with the time change. The last few days I’ve pushed myself to walk even when the weather is less than conducive for the activity.

While my control might be shaky, I don’t feel helpless, or hopeless. This is a bump in the recovery road. The highway to health didn’t suffer a washout. I’m not lost. Today was better. God willing, tomorrow will be a good, new beginning too.

Body Matters General Musings

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In the Middle Seat

by Mary Stella

I almost titled this post “To Boldly Go Where I’ve Never Gone Before”. Well, at least where I haven’t gone very often and not in a long, long, lonnnnggggg time.

Last Thursday, I left on a business trip to California for a conference. On the way home, for some reason the travel agent had not been able to select a seat for me even though I was confirmed on the flight. I tried several times to select a seat before the day of the flight and each time the system refused.

This caused no small amount of anxiety all because I stressed on the great what if. What if the only seats available weren’t aisle or window seats? What if, (insert choked, fretful, gasp) the only seat available was In. The. Middle?? (Cue the doomsday organ chords.)

I was the first person in line at the gate when the attendant arrived to assign seats. It didn’t help the anxiety when she announced on the microphone that they “might” have an oversold situation and were looking for three volunteers willing to give up their seats for a free flight and other perks. Actually, the thought of not getting on the flight at all suddenly struck me as ever so much more worrisome since I would then miss the connecting flight, subsequently miss the shuttle van home, and be stuck in Miami for Lord knows how long.

However, even though I was reassured when she confirmed me for a seat, I couldn’t stop the queasy dread when I saw that the situation I so feared had come true.

I was seated in the middle of a row.

All of the dread was a throwback to my days of Super Obesity when I could barely fit in any airline seat but could at least manage to ~~just barely~~ squeeze myself in between the arm rests and use a seat belt extender to buckle up. Even one one end or the other, I made sure to lean as far as I could away from the person in the middle so that I wouldn’t crowd them more than absolutely necessary. I always hated it when I’d see the expression on their faces when they realized that they were stuck sitting next to the really heavy woman. Needless to say, I always avoided middle seats – for my own sake as well as any other travelers.

I’m truly surprised that no flight attendant ever flagged me and said that I’d have to buy a second seat to accommodate my bulk.

Anyway, even though I know I fit in normal seats, I couldn’t shake the sick feeling while I boarded the flight and slowly made my way to my appointed row. I gingerly slid into the row and oh-so-carefully took my seat.

Without any problem. I sat down in the seat and realized that not only did I fit, I had a little room to spare on either side. The arm rests weren’t cutting into me, nor were they trying to automatically flip up, pushed there by any overly thick part of my body.

I fit. Comfortably. Comfortably for me and for the people seated on either side. I was so relieved that I closed my eyes, sent up a quick gratitude prayer, and breathed out the air I’d sort of been holding along with my apprehension. I relaxed and enjoyed a very pleasant conversation with my row companion to the right. It felt good. It felt, Lord help me, normal.

Another hurdle jumped. Another NSV realized. Booyah!

****************

As part of my long weekend away, I went on a Whale Watching trip in Southern California. Here are a some of the photos because, no matter what the topic, there’s always a place for cute animal pictures.

Body Matters My Progress NSVs

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I’m All About that Bass

by Mary Stella

I turned on the CMA Awards show tonight. Miranda Lambert and Meghan Trainor teamed up on Trainor’s hit song All About That Bass.

I’ve sort of heard the song a few times. I think some pros danced to a few bars of it on Dancing with the Stars one night. It might have been playing in the background in a store or two when I was shopping. Honestly, all I knew was the one line, “I’m all about that bass. ‘Bout that bass.”

I didn’t even know the “no treble” part that comes right after.

Until tonight. I listened to the song as the women performed and instantly fell in love with it because of the lyrics. It’s all about self-acceptance and acknowledging your body and your beauty – regardless of the fact that you aren’t a size two.

Just check out these lines:

I know you think you’re fat

But I’m here to tell ya

Every inch of you is perfect from the bottom to the top

Love it, love it, love it! I think that this is currently my favorite song. Any time I’m tempted to get down on myself or berate myself for “still” being fat — which is something I can easily do after a rough day — I’m going to sing this song to myself.

If you aren’t familiar with the song, here are all of the lyrics. It’s a very catchy tune, too. You can check it out on YouTube or iTunes. I hope it’s a big hit with women of all ages because we sure can all use the positive reinforcement for our self-images.

“All About That Bass”

Because you know

I’m all about that bass
‘Bout that bass, no treble
I’m all about that bass
‘Bout that bass, no treble
I’m all about that bass
‘Bout that bass, no treble
I’m all about that bass
‘Bout that bass

Yeah, it’s pretty clear, I ain’t no size two
But I can shake it, shake it
Like I’m supposed to do
‘Cause I got that boom boom that all the boys chase
And all the right junk in all the right places

I see the magazine workin’ that Photoshop
We know that shit ain’t real
C’mon now, make it stop
If you got beauty, beauty, just raise ’em up
‘Cause every inch of you is perfect
From the bottom to the top

Yeah, my mama she told me don’t worry about your size
She says, “Boys like a little more booty to hold at night.”
You know I won’t be no stick figure silicone Barbie doll
So if that’s what you’re into then go ahead and move along

Because you know I’m
All about that bass
‘Bout that bass, no treble
I’m all about that bass
‘Bout that bass, no treble
I’m all about that bass
‘Bout that bass, no treble
I’m all about that bass
‘Bout that bass
Hey!

I’m bringing booty back
Go ahead and tell them skinny bitches that
No I’m just playing. I know you think you’re fat
But I’m here to tell ya
Every inch of you is perfect from the bottom to the top

Yeah my mama she told me don’t worry about your size
She says, “Boys like a little more booty to hold at night.”
You know I won’t be no stick figure silicone Barbie doll
So if that’s what you’re into then go ahead and move along

Body Matters

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An Off Switch

by Mary Stella

A long time ago, I talked about sometime feeling as if my motivation had an on/off switch when I used to diet. Unfortunately, it was always like someone or something else flicked that switch to the Off position and, just like that, my motivation disappeared. It was never easy to turn it back on again.

In terms of my eating disorder, I used to long for a different switch, one that could instantly turn off the compulsion, the eating urges, but before I reached for food. Honestly, when the disease is raging, there is virtually no impulse control. A package will be open and food already in my mouth or in my stomach before any thoughts of, “No. Stop. Don’t eat that” swim anywhere near my conscious mind. It sucks when the awareness kicks in after the food is swallowed and I think, “I shouldn’t have eaten that.” Still, that’s the nature of the disease.

I also used to wish that someone would invent a sensor or a chip that emitted a jolt, a sound, a buzz, anything really, to snap me out of the compulsion if I was even tempted to eat on impulse. It would have to work something like one of those invisible fences people install around their properties to keep their dogs at home. Now there’s an image — me walking around, wearing a collar with a gizmo that jolted me whenever I got in range of inappropriate food. I’m not sure how I would designate food as inappropriate. I can’t exactly install invisible fencing around the rest of the world, or at least the rest of my world.

Such are the useless musings of a compulsive overeater. In reality, awareness and the ability to put on the brakes on my own compulsive disease aren’t things that can be triggered by switches or microchips. Awareness is a learned skill. It goes back to mindfulness with a healthy shot of strong program. It involves developing a healthy obsession, not with food, but with that eating behavior. Working a program, putting time and energy – mental energy – into it are all necessary actions. I can’t phone in the effort. There’s no remote control. I have to always do the work. In program terms, it means being willing to go to any lengths to achieve recovery.

I can be my own off switch.

Body Matters General Musings My Progress

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Defining Abstinence

by Mary Stella

I was talking to a friend the other day about working on my abstinence. She asked me to explain. Have you ever noticed how sometimes your nose is so close against the window of your own issue that you forget the rest of the world isn’t pressed against the glass too?

I thought it might make a good topic to discuss. The more I work on my own abstinence, the better off I’ll be.

When I first went to a therapist who explained that I had an eating disorder, I was also lucky to have picked one who was in OA herself. Not only did I begin to be exposed to different ideas about the way I used food, but I started to learn a new vocabulary and new understanding to go with words I knew in different contexts.

Like abstinence for starters. I knew that for an alcoholic or drug addict, abstinence meant they abstained from drinking alcohol or using drugs. It’s different for overeaters. We can’t abstain from consuming food of some sort. So, abstinence for me means refraining from the behavior of compulsive eating, not avoiding the substance.

I can’t count the number of times I’ve wondered whether it would be easier for me if I actually could go through life no eating at all. Would the black and white choice of Don’t eat/eat be less of a challenge than having to control when/how/what I eat all of the time. In a few decades I’ve never determined an answer. It’s the never ending pondering.

When the therapist first worked with me on attaining abstinence, I was in the grips of a horrible, long-term bout of binge eating. I’d consume huge quantities of food every day – mostly in the evenings. I didn’t have a clue how to stop or how to define what abstinence meant for me.

We started with broad strokes that purposely did not require me to limit my quantity per se. Here’s how it worked. The goal was for me to experience not giving into the compulsion to eat something just because it was there, or I wanted it, or because I wanted it and it was there. My first abstinence plan was to wake up and determine what and how much I would eat that day — organized into six meals. In order for me to claim abstinence that day, I could not eat anything other than I’d planned or eat at any other time than a pre-set meal.

So, if I woke up in the morning and planned that dinner would be an entire pizza, then I was within my abstinence guidelines. If, however, I planned to eat three pieces of pizza at dinner and then had a fourth – then I was not abstinent. If I ate two pieces at dinner but then grabbed another piece later that evening, I wasn’t being abstinent.

Sounds a little nutty, doesn’t it? It was drastic, but it worked. I learned a lot by employing that method. After a while, I was able to structure my abstinence to something closer to reasonable nutritional guidelines, but harnessing the disease eating behavior was the most important thing for me in the beginning.

I know what my abstinence needs to be – for today. A small “meal” every couple of hours, for six times a day. Do not deviate and pick up extra food at an unplanned time. Eat in the balanced proportions of my 21 Day Fix.

I’ve talked about my issues with available Halloween candy. It’s a trigger food for sure. So today when I set up my abstinence plan, I committed to not grabbing a piece of candy out of the plastic pumpkin currently hanging out in the office kitchen prior to lunchtime. I have myself permission to have a piece with my lunch but none before 12 noon. For me, abstinence does not mean never eating chocolate or another sweet treat. If I want that piece of chocolate, I can have it – as long, and this is the key part, I’ve planned when and how much of it I’m going to eat. The fact that I held to that plan was a victory for me. I feel really good about it.

Every time I choose my abstinence and resist the urge to eat compulsively, it’s a win. Wins are positive things. Positive actions are foundations on which to build.

Body Matters General Musings

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About Compulsion

by Mary Stella

com·pul·sion

kəmˈpəlSHən/

noun

the action or state of forcing or being forced to do something; constraint.

“the payment was made under compulsion“

synonyms: obligation, constraint, coercion, duress, pressure, intimidation

“he is under no compulsion to go”
2.

an irresistible urge to behave in a certain way, especially against one’s conscious wishes.

“he felt a compulsion to babble on about what had happened”

synonyms: urge, impulse, need, desire, drive; More

Since I deal (or not sometimes) with compulsive eating behavior as part of my binge-eating disorder, I thought it might be a good topic to discuss. I know how the behavior manifests, but figured it would be good to see how compulsion is actually defined and then assess how it resonates to me.

So, definition number one doesn’t match. Nobody forces me to overeat, eat when I’m not hungry, eat and keep eating, etc.

Definition number two? Yes, that’s the one. If there’s a way to highlight words in WordPress, I can’t figure it out, but if I could, I owuld highlight “irresistible” and “against one’s conscious wishes”. Yes, I really do feel sometimes as if the urge to eat is irresistible, even unstoppable, and it occurs regardless of my conscious desire to stay on my plan.

Compulsion is a horrible feeling. Imagine if you couldn’t control your hand and had to watch while it picked up a kitchen knife and stabbed you in your own thigh. Yes, that’s a really dramatic image, but it serves a point. When compulsion overcomes my conscious wish and give in to the irresistible urge to eat, I hurt myself — physically, emotionally and spiritually.

I wish the weight loss surgery had also removed the compulsion, but it didn’t, so I still struggle with it every day. However, the surgery set me on the road to a good long period of recovery and weight loss. I’m stronger now than I’ve ever been, so while I have my off periods, I believe in myself. I’m definitely not going to gain back my weight. Ultimately, I have come to believe that with the help of a Higher Power, a program, and all of the tools at ready, I am stronger than the compulsion.

One of the big tools is to set myself up for success instead of creating situations where failure is more likely. For example, being in the vicinity of bags of candy for Halloween — that’s a big time, doomed-to-fail scenario. I am absolutely capable of compulsively eating piece, after piece, after mini-piece of candy until I’m sick to my stomach. Setting myself up for success means not buying the bags and having them in the house.

You see, once I start, it honestly does feel sometimes like I can’t stop myself. The time to bring all of the weapons forward to beat back the compulsion is before I take the first piece. The call to action needs to happen while I still have conscious thought — and when I’m still conscious and aware that the compulsion is bubbling up.

I’d like to substitute healthier, more positive behaviors for the destructive compulsive ones. That’s been an ongoing effort. Exercising consistently. Practicing good, positive thinking. Reshaping those old truths. Exploring the flavors of healthy food and experimenting with new-to-me foods and cooking techniques. These are all positives. They take practice. Continual practice.

Also on the positive side is recognizing that I have an addictive personality. If it wasn’t food that became my drug of choice, I know I’d be addicted to drugs or alcohol. There was a time when I was hooked on cigarettes and also a regular pot smoker. In the early 80s when I lost more than 100 pounds on an extremely restrictive, medically supervised, diet, I did not yet know that I had an eating disorder, so I wasn’t in any kind of treatment to help me understand and deal with the other aspects of the disorder. I was only eating nine ounces of protein a day and I wasn’t drinking alcohol when I went out to the clubs three or four nights a week with my friends. So, I still needed something to make up for the lack of food as a coping mechanism. I started getting high almost every night.

Although I spent a lot of years partying in rock clubs with my friends, I didn’t drink to drunkenness every night and I wasn’t much for drinking at night when I was at home. I think observing and dealing with my mother’s alcoholism probably contributed to me not making that my addiction.

I gave up pot a long time ago and have no desire to pick it up again, even on rare, recreational occasions. I was never into coke or other illegal drugs. I also tend to avoid prescription pain killers unless absolutely necessary — as in the pain level I’m feeling is at least an 8 on a scale of 1-10 with 10 being unimaginable pain. Even after surgery when I was recovering at home, I only took a couple of doses of the pain medicine the doctor prescribed. Today the orthopedic doctor offered to write me a scrip for a stronger medication than over-the-counter pain relievers. I politely declined. I’d rather not have it in the house and run the risk of swapping one addiction or compulsion for another.

Compulsion is ugly, challenging, frustrating and, sometimes, disheartening. When all is said and done, however, I refuse to be its victim. I’m going to borrow from one of my favorite television shows, Scandal, and imagine myself as a gladiator. I may not win every battle, but I do not run from the war.

Body Matters General Musings My Progress The Past is the Past

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Brain Training Games

by Mary Stella

A little more than a week ago, I signed up for Lumosity. I figured that while I’m spending so much time and effort getting physically fit, I should also not forget to keep my brain fit, too. Now, one would think that working a full time job and being involved in other things would be enough to keep me in good cognitive shape. I’m sure I’m doing okay, but I have noticed that my memory isn’t always quite as sharp as it used to be a few decades ago.

So, between television ads, Facebook ads, and one of my bosses, Lumosity hit my radar. I finally checked it out. I won’t say I’m obsessed, but I am compelled and eager to do a mental workout every day. Different games work different abilities – spatial memory, working memory, vocabulary function, number tasks, directional planning, and so on and so on.

The goal is to keep improving at the tasks over time. I haven’t been doing them long enough to know whether I’m making significant progress, but I have discovered some things about myself and, in some cases, have rediscovered things about my personality.

First realization: I am competitive, even with myself. Now these aren’t games that you win or lose, you just keep trying to do your best and increase your score. Still, if I don’t feel that I’ve done well enough, I immediately want to try the game again. Now that I’ve been doing it a week, I’ve repeated some of the games, so I actually have a score in those against which to measure my performance. If I don’t beat my previous score in one of the games, yes, I have to try it again, find a way to improve, do a better job of concentrating. I take on the challenge.

It’s a good thing that I’m a gracious loser and a non-gloating winner when I play games against other people.

Second realization: I definitely feel more stress on a timed game. Oh how I hated the standardized SATs and other big tests when I was in high school. It was difficult enough to have the pressure of needing a good score. Having to perform well on the questions and do so in set periods of time was a double-shot of freakout-inducing stress.

I can feel myself getting clear performance anxiety on the Lumosity games that are timed! I want to hit a pause button, take a deep breath and tell myself to snap out of it. The games are intended to help. It’s not like the fate of my life hangs in the balance or that I fail if I only get to a certain score. In thees games, like in much of life, it’s progress not perfection.

Third realization: At this age, I’m able to more quickly and easily get over my own foibles. When I was a kid, these things would eat at me. Then I’d eat over them.

Now I look at them, take note, laugh at myself when appropriate and, like tonight, even write a blog post. Then, tomorrow, I go back and try the mental workout again.

Body Matters General Musings

Staying on the Total Care Track

by Mary Stella

Odd as it might sound, it is sometimes overwhelming to take care of ourselves the way that we need to. Here’s my case in point. Among the many wonderful things that I inherited from my parents, came a few not so desirable things. I have a genetic tendency toward gum disease. I’ve known this for 20 plus years. Keeping my gums healthy requires dedication to care at home and visits to the dentist office four times a year for a good periodontal cleaning.

Usually, even when neglecting other aspects of my good health – like I did prior to weight loss surgery when I was super obese and oh-so-sedentary – I still kept those quarterly hygienist appointments for deep cleaning and was mostly good with my home care. There’s no other way to put this, but somehow in the last 18 months, I spaced on the oral healthy commitment. I went in March 2013, made next appointment, forgot the appointment until they called to remind at which point, I couldn’t make it. Rescheduled for a month or so later, but was sick for that one. See how the slide happens down the slippery slope? Anyway, I forgot to reschedule right at that point. Every once in a while I’d think, with a sharp stab of guilt, that I really needed to call and make an appointment, but I’d let it slide.

A couple of weeks ago, the office called me to ask if I’d talk to a co-worker who had questions about our company’s dental insurance plan. Oh, and did I know it had been quite some time since I’d been in? *gulp* “Um, yes, it has and I’ve been meaning to call,” I sort of stammered. We set an appointment right then.

A few days or a week later, the dentist himself called me too. He didn’t know that I’d spoken to the office but he’d realized it had been a while since he’d seen me and wondered how I was doing. Honestly, I feared a scolding, but he is one of the coolest dentist’s in the world. We acknowledged that we both know that I know what I need to do to protect my gums and, ultimately, my teeth, against disease and moved on.

So, the appointment was this morning. They x-rayed, did that poke test, thoroughly cleaned and polished and the dentist also came in and did his examination. I feel like I dodged a dental bullet. The results weren’t anywhere nearly as bad as I feared. There’s room for improvement which can happen as long as I stick to the home care regime and come in for the cleanings four times a year. You can bet that I made the appointment for my next visit before I left the office and it’s already on my calendars.

While I was stretched out in the chair, sometime between the gum poking and the final polishing, I had a realization. We can’t pick and choose the essential elements of our self-care. Annual physicals, breast self-checks and mammograms for women, prostate self-checks for guys, eye exams and dental visits aren’t optional.

It doesn’t matter if I’m crazy busy at work and have more than enough extra-curricular activities to tie up my nights. These are things for which I must make the time. It’s not like I ever miss making or keeping my manicure and pedicure appointments.

Honestly, it’s deep on the dopey side for me to overlook any of these elements when I’m working so hard on my weight loss and overall physical fitness. If the goal is the most healthy Mary I can be, which it is, then I need to be vigilant about the entire package. Total Care.

Body Matters General Musings

Weighty Matters

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Fooling My Brain

No Can’t Do

Ten Day Break? Wow.

In the Middle Seat

I’m All About that Bass

An Off Switch

Defining Abstinence

About Compulsion

Brain Training Games

Staying on the Total Care Track

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