It will come as no surprise to regular or long term blog readers that I have a large and varied supply of different issues about food, eating, dieting, weight loss and having an eating disorder. I’ve come a long way over the years but that doesn’t mean, for me, that the issues every go away. I simply learn, or hope to learn, effective coping mechanisms so that the issues don’t screw me up and harpoon my positive effort.
Today what’s coming up for me is combating the feelings that I’m being “bad” on a diet, that I’m cheating, every time I eat some sort of whole fat or otherwise fat food item on this Always Hungry? plan. Whole milk, whole milk yogurt, full fat cheese, eggs, nuts and nut butters (without added sugar) are absolutely allowed and are an important part of this food plan. Take this morning, for example. I prepared the book’s recipe again for non-grain pancakes. (Did I talk about these last week? I forget. Bear with me anyway.) They are made with garbanza bean flour, whole milk Greek yogurt, whole milk, an egg, and safflower oil. (If any of you need to avoid gluten and you haven’t tried garbanza bean flour, it’s a revelation. I want to find other recipes that use it, just because I think it’s tasty.)
These pancakes are delicious just as they are. However, in lieu of syrup on Phase I, I topped mine with homemade whipped cream and a fruit sauce. All kinds of awesome yumminess happening on that breakfast plate, my friends. Great flavor, texture, mouth feel and, after, satiety.
However, even with that positive experience, I could not stop the thoughts that the meal was too decadent, that I was cheating. I was eating full fat dairy. My mental process kept trying to tell me this was wrong, wrong, wrong. I stopped mid-way, put down the fork, and had a talk with myself. It comes down to being willing to trust this AH plan with its process and the science behind it and be confident that I am not being “bad” or doing damage to myself. Ultimately, I need to believe that the plan is helping me reach the goals of retraining my fat cells and losing weight.
Clearly the plan is working. I will confess that I still have difficulty staying away from the scale and am weighing myself almost every day. However, seeing steady results is at least turning out to be a tool to combat the feelings that I’m screwing up and cheating every time I eat some whole fat food. (By the way, I’m down 11 pounds today.)
So, how can I stop the negative thoughts and worries from creeping in? Here’s what I’m going to try. Remember when I talked about the book’s recommendation that participants designate an amulet to help them refocus on their goals and Big Why? I use the “Strong is the New Skinny” bracelet my friend gave me. When I’ve been tempted to eat something not on the plan, it honestly has helped me to look at and tap the bracelet. I figure if the tool has worked in that way, I could use it for this, too. My thought is that it will create an atmosphere of even greater mindfulness. When a negative thought about what I’m eating creeps in, I’m going to tap my bracelet and remind myself that I’m on track with the program and food plan.
Weighty Matters 
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