It’s almost 11 p.m. and I’m going to bed soon. I wanted to report that I’ve had a good day, one in which I stayed abstinent from compulsive eating and stuck to my food plan. One day down and one day is all I need. When I wake up tomorrow I’ll plan on making it another good day of recovery.
I know it’s helpful for me to reflect on what I did to have a good, abstinent day. Sharing about it on this blog also serves as reinforcement.
Last night I talked about being prepared, so today’s effort actually began last night when I prepped the food I planned to eat while at work. Can’t remember if I’ve explained my overall food plan in a while, but I eat six times a day. That works out to three “meals” and three snacks. Very often, there isn’t an appreciable increase in volume at the “meals”, although my tendency is to have dinner be a somewhat larger meal. I’m trying to change that too, over time.
So, for today — I fixed a protein shake for breakfast with a small banana. I had a couple of cups of hot black tea with a small splash of half ‘n half. My mid-morning snack included a couple reasonable tablespoons of spinach-artichoke hummus with two celery stalks and half a dozen baby carrots. I had a cup of green tea at work at around the same time. After that I filled up my water glass too. For lunch I prepared a chocolate protein shake. That satisfied me until it was time for a mid-afternoon cup of green tea and a small apple for snack time.
For dinner, I steamed a spaghetti squash and cooked up some crushed tomatoes into a nice sauce. I then put the two together along with a couple of ounces of fresh mozarella. Another cup of tea in the evening was followed by about 3/4 of a naval orange.
As I said I planned to when discussing my homemade lean-green-clean plan, I avoided chocolate, all candy, bread, crackers, cookies, cakes and potatoes.
For exercise, I took Nat and Pyxi out for a short walk this morning and a longer walk after dinner. I also did a set of Tai Chi.
All of this – the food, eating and exercise – covers the physical aspect of the program. For the emotional/mental part, I read the daily message in one of my books and revisited the written explanation of Step One. Knowing how supportive my friends at work are about all of my efforts, I “came clean” to them by explaining my decision to go lean-green-clean to a stricter degree than usual. I don’t want them to police my eating, but it’s helpful to my mindset if I’m honest and open about what I’m experiencing. It helps me with my accountability to myself.
I also acknowledged to my Higher Power that I am simply grateful for all of the blessings and lessons in my life and asked for help in experiencing a day of recovery instead of relapse. This balanced out the three-legged stool with the spiritual side.
For most of the day, the effort was fairly easy, relatively speaking. Granted I psyched myself up for it and brought forth strong motivation. Also granted, this was only the first day — one day. Still, it’s something on which to build with a whole series of “one day at a time”. Tonight has been the most difficult part of the day. About an hour ago, I started feeling hungry. At least, I think I was really feeling it, but it’s sometimes hard for me to differentiate between real, actual hunger and mental hunger. Whether it’s one or the other isn’t as important as what I chose to do about what I experienced. I chose not to eat something that wasn’t pre-planned. I chose to remain in recovery.
That was the choice today. That’s the choice I’ll wake up and make in the morning. I’d like to have another good food day of recovery.
Weighty Matters 
Yay for HP and Yay for abstinence.