We humans are odd. We want what we want when we want it. We’re impatient and when we make an effort, we’d like the instant gratification of immediate results.
Yet, there are many times when we absolutely know what we should be doing, or at least what helps us when we do it but . . . we don’t do it.
I was reminded of this at that Tai Chi workshop. A practitioner in his early 20s shared that he has had Type 1 diabetes since he was a child. He needs insulin injections about eight times a day and suffers from neuropathy pain in his hands and feet. He has balance and strength issues. During a time when we were sitting around talking about different health benefits we’ve experienced since practicing Tai Chi, he said that on the days he does a set, he notices that he can reduce the number of insulin injections. That’s terrific!
The instructor then asked him, “If you know that this happens when you practice, why don’t you do it every day?”
The young man replied, “I’m young. I’m lazy.” Credit him for honesty.
Tai Chi works for him in a very obvious, concrete, immediately-realized way. He should do it every day and knows this, but sometimes chooses not to out of laziness.
I thought about this a lot. I have very basic tools in my toolkit that really help me. Sometimes I use them and my life and recovery are easier to maintain. Sometimes I just blow them off and that gets me into trouble.
So, why don’t I always use the tools? Beats me. Well, no, actually there are a number of reasons and, depending on the day, any one of them could be at the forefront. Sometimes laziness. Sometimes emotional turmoil or I’m running late and don’t make time to plan. I admit that there are some day when I just don’t feel like it.
To be brutally honest, there are often times when I resent the hell out of the fact that the tools are necessary. I really, really hate having an eating disorder.
Reasons — I have a variety. However, none of them matter. None of them are justifiable excuses.
Bottom line – even when I feel lazy or emotionally off, even when I’m running late or fail to pre-plan, I still need to use my tools and take care of myself. Resenting the eating disorder doesn’t make it go away. Not doing what I know works hands the power over to the eating disorder.
So, for me, the solution is that I need to ignore all of the reasons for not doing what I know works and do it anyway.
Weighty Matters 
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