I’ve come to understand that I cannot scare myself into losing weight or sticking to a food plan. Being afraid of failing, of getting sick, of gaining back all of my weight, of losing the joyful life I have, heck, of dying, does not serve as great motivation.
I wish it did. If fear alone could keep me on track, I’d never veer. Not even a millimeter off track would I step. Unfortunately, my eating disorder doesn’t differentiate between a fear that could motivate me to stay in recovery and any other emotion-based fear. For an emotional eater, any fear can be a trigger.
When I was a kid, occasionally out of their concern for me, my parents would try to impress on me the risk of being overweight and the potential dangerous health concerns that I faced if I didn’t diet and lose weight. I know they hoped that being afraid of developing juvenile diabetes would get me to stop overeating, but those talks only made me want to eat more.
Right now, I’m experiencing a lot of fear and, for once, I’m trying to be rational, calm and objective about it so that I don’t overeat. Instead, I try to spin my emotions into a more positive mindset. It doesn’t do me any good to castigate myself and say things like, “If you mess up your food plan, you’ll gain back all of your weight; be fat and miserable. You’ll put yourself right back on a fast track to early death or disability.” That approach multiplies the fear and creates a mess of other negative emotions.
So, I’m really trying to focus on how I approach everything and look for the positives. For example,when I think about preparing meals or if I’m faced with the choice whether to dive into some poor choices, it’s much healthier for me to think and say things like, “Follow your food plan and you’ll not only enjoy a delicious dinner, but you’ll be happy knowing you stuck with your program. You’ll not only feel healthier, but you’ll be healthier.”
That’s a very simple example, but I think you get the gist. The more I reinforce positive choices, the better.
Weighty Matters 
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