Some days I’m strong on my food plan and exercise in spite of food thoughts and compulsion assailing me. Those are good days when I can hold onto my resilience and determination even when my disease urges me to eat on impulse. Really good days are ones when I don’t even feel the compulsion of my eating disorder but just go through the day eating as I planned and what I prepared. I’ve had a few really good days lately. I never take these for granted. They are infrequent and precious. It is a lot less stressful to not have to do battle with the disease, even for a day.
My mindset’s been good. I’ve held to my determination to not belittle or denigrate my own efforts. If a negative, or even a slightly-less-than-positive thought tries to creep into my consciousness, I cancel it. I’ve even said it out loud. Cancel! Silly as it sounds, it works.
I know as I’ve lost weight I’ve talked about getting into smaller size clothing or, especially in the beginning, taking clothes to a seamstress for alterations. I soon need to get some other belongings sized down. My jewelry has all become too big. A pinkie ring that at one time had to be cut off before wrist surgery is too big for me to wear. I’ve had it slip off my finger when I reached into my handbag for something. I tried wearing a ring guard for awhile but the guard annoyed me. So, the ring is off of my hand and in my jewelry box.
My other pinkie ring has also gotten too big but I’ve been able to move it over to the next finger and wear it there instead. For the time being, anyway. I noticed yesterday that it’s close to becoming too big to wear at all. I have another valuable ring that I still love to wear but it keeps sliding all over my ring finger. For now, when I wear it I slip it onto my index finger. It’s kind of a cool look, to be honest. I might just continue to do that.
My necklaces used to be the perfect length but now I’ve lost enough inches around my neck that they hit longer than I like. Thinking of all these things, I realize that sooner or later I need to go for gold alterations! I’m not complaining. This is an excellent problem to experience! Unlike clothes, gold can earn me money, particularly at the current price per ounce. When I finally take everything into a jeweler to be shortened or sized down, I’ll be able to sell back whatever is removed. At the very least it will pay for the work. Best case scenario, it will pay for the work and I’ll get a few bucks spending money. Like I said, not a bad problem!
The Olympic Ice Dancing finals are on television tonight while I write this post. I already know the outcome so I’m not experiencing anxiety-by-proxy for the athletes. I can relax and enjoy the performances and programs without fretting that some team will fall or make other heart-wrenching errors. I don’t know about the other sports, but it seems like most of the figure skaters start when they’re kids. I marvel that this dogged determination to pursue sports excellence not only begins so young but also stays with them for so many years.
I had multiple dream jobs in mind by the time I was 11. I can’t imagine sticking with one of them for most of my life. These skaters set their goals early and committed their lives to achieving them, no matter what. Hours upon hours upon days, weeks, months and years of practice, hard work, sacrifice of other activities all to become the best that they can possibly be.
It’s inspiring. If they can commit their entire lives to their gold goal, surely I can stay committed to achieving my goal weight and then maintaining for the rest of my life.
Finally, as my day of gold and goaled thoughts comes to an end, I need to say that I groan every time a commercial for McDonald’s comes on during the Olympics broadcast. As you can imagine, this means I groan a lot. I don’t mean to be hypocritical because, Lord knows, I used to be a regular customer of the golden arches drive through. In my worst days of overeating, I’d go through the drive-thru and order two sodas, hoping the staff member would assume I was ordering food for two people. With the exception of a yogurt and fruit parfait that I had last month, I haven’t eaten from McD’s in more than a year. My stomach can’t handle it and foods that I once loved hold no appeal anymore.
That said, for some reason, I find it distasteful to see the ad that has athletes playfully biting the medals as if to judge the quality of the metal and then see people biting into chicken nuggets. They look for all the world as if they think the questionable chicken is the gold standard for edible food. Eat fast food or don’t, it’s a personal choice, but let’s not fool ourselves that the food items on the menu are healthy and good for us. The majority aren’t.
Weighty Matters 
Good luck!
I cringe at those ads as well. I think they send a terrible message.
I recommend wearing rings on all fingers! I wear them on my pinkies, ring, middle, and index fingers, depending on what rings fit where. My mom did the same. It is a good look, so go for it. You’ll get more mileage out of your now-too-large rings!
We don’t have cable, so I haven’t been watching the Olympics. But I feel disturbed when McD’s is advertised on a show that upholds athletics and good health. It just seems wrong.
Thanks for the ring wearing suggestions, Skye!