Weighty Matters

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Validation & Encouragement

on December 16, 2013

I’ve talked about the whole calorie reduction suggestion not only here but also to good friends. To a person, everyone has agreed with me that cutting my calorie intake by 25%, which would put me in the 600 to 750 calorie range a day, isn’t a good move. That’s putting it mildly. Some of the reactions were quite a bit stronger.

I know in my gut that I’m right to reject the suggestion and, at the same time, want to share that having that instinct validated by you and my friends really helped my emotional state. As upset as I was, these could have been really bad food and eating days. Instead, talking it out, getting positive feedback, validation and encouragement, helped me balance myself.

I’ve been pretty even keeled, eating balanced, planned meals. Exercise-wise, I got in my full exertion and effort both yesterday and today. All in all, I feel really good.

I’m going to take how I feel today and build on it tomorrow, then the day after and the day after. When one has such tremendous, long term, deep issues with food and eating, enjoying days when these things aren’t issues are moments to mark, to treasure, to use as stepping stones for further progress.

One foot in front of the other. One day at a time.

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2 responses to “Validation & Encouragement

  1. Lani says:

    Oh, honey. I’ve been reading all of this for the past week or so and I feel for you… but I also have some perspective I’d like to add to the conversation.

    If you never lose another pound for the rest of your life, how bad would that be, really? You’re active. You’re beautiful (you were also beautiful before, and you are still now, just beautiful.) You’re fun and smart and amazing.

    Now, just imagine that life, in which you continue being active and eating reasonably, without eating obsessively. You relax, and slip into a comfortable calorie range, where you’re happy. You can climb in your boat, right now. You can swim with the dolphins, right now. You’re healthy and beautiful, right now, as you are.

    Would that life be so bad? And you know, I think in time, your plateau will stop and you’ll continue to lose again. But the numbers don’t matter. You didn’t do this for numbers, you did it for health and sanity, and you have that.

    Let it be. Go into maintenance mode, and stay here for a few months. You are safe, you’re healthy, you fucking did it! Give yourself a break and enjoy this life you’ve worked so hard for. You’re amazing. Rest for a while, the plateau will break, and you can continue to lose, but right now, as you are now, if you never lose another pound, please understand you have already won.

    Love you, darling. Now breathe.

  2. Skye says:

    It is so validating when people whose opinion you’ve come to value validate your own, isn’t it? I’m glad that you got the validation and encouragement and support you needed and that you’ve been able to stay on track. Really, given your food issues, the fact that again and again you refrain from following the siren call of unhealthy eating and instead take the more difficult, healthier path. Every day you get stronger, even days when you fall off your food plan, because even that leads you back to your chosen path with an even greater commitment.

    You inspire me.

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