I only just decided to do another post on Finding New Ways, hence the Part Two when there was nothing to designate the previous post as Part One. I figure you’d all just roll with me on it. 🙂
Yesterday, I was thinking more along the lines of finding new ways to cope rather than running to food. Tonight, I’m more focused on finding new ways to take care of myself. These are probably flip sides of the same coin and I don’t mean to repeat myself, but I think there are some subtle differences, or at the very least, shaded nuances.
Yesterday, the massage helped me cope with the stress. Today, I’m in need of some self care. I have to choose whether to indulge in chocolate and pretend it’s a way of caring for myself or finding another way. I’m choosing a good soak in the bathtub with the latest book written by one of my dearest friends.
Sometimes it really sucks that I have assigned so many roles to food in the past. I started to write that thought as, “….sucks that food has played so many roles in my past”, but I decided it was necessary to take responsibility. Honestly, it’s not like food auditioned to be my drug of choice, my reward for good behavior, my punishment, my consolation, and the club with which I beat myself. I cast it in those parts and then directed its performance.
Now I need to keep food in one, appropriate, role — nutritional sustenance. It’s allowed to taste good and be enjoyable to eat, but I need to not give it any more importance than being fuel for my body. I can find other, healthier ways to reward or comfort myself or just make myself feel better. Notice I’m leaving out the whole punishment and club aspects. I’m done beating myself up for stuff. I’m a good, human being with a human being’s normal amount of fallibility. If I screw up sometimes, then I screw up sometimes. I don’t ignore the messes and do my best to hold myself accountable. This doesn’t mean I need to garb myself in sackcloth and replace cosmetics with ashes.
New days, new ways. That’s the ticket. How do you take care of yourself?
Weighty Matters 
Maybe it’s reading your blog and it’s focus on changing the role of food in your life, maybe it’s the other changes I’m making in my life, but I’ve been changing my approach to food, also. Even if something looks very tasty, I only put on my plate what I think I can reasonably eat, and I generally don’t go back for seconds. I notice that I eat much less than my housemates do. I did allow myself some ice cream for dessert last night because I wanted it, but did not end up overly full. I’ve lost weight in the last 3 months or so, possibly due to stress and possibly due to not really paying attention to food (not looking for ways to reward myself with food). I do think you have been a positive inspiration to me in this. Thanks.
[Closing lid on toasted walnuts]. Thanks Mary, I was eating although I absolutely was not hungry. The crunching was not easing the stress, so why add the calories? It’s thoughtless eating. You are, slowly but surely (my issue not yours) getting through to me,
Thanks!
“Now I need to keep food in one, appropriate, role — nutritional sustenance. It’s allowed to taste good and be enjoyable to eat, but I need to not give it any more importance than being fuel for my body. I can find other, healthier ways to reward or comfort myself or just make myself feel better. Notice I’m leaving out the whole punishment and club aspects. I’m done beating myself up for stuff.” I needed those thoughts, thank you. 🙂