Months ago even after I’d lost a chunk of weight, I kept seeing my fat self in the mirror. That was the syndrome (not identified by any medical professionals) that I referred to as “fat eyes”. It means a lot that these days I can look at myself and experience my body as it really is — the size, the shape, the muscles that begin to emerge from behind the flab. I still see the fat and, trust me, there remains a lot of flab, but I’m not inflating myself to untrue proportions.
I went to Zumba class tonight. It thrills me to be able to move and keep up with the music without panting and gasping. I’m a little frustrated that I don’t perfectly execute all of the steps. Sometimes I screw up. Some moves I can’t do — like jumping jacks — but I keep moving. I look in the mirror and concentrate on the improvements in my shape, not how far I still have to go.
Two of the Zumba instructors are in their 50s. It is amazing to see their leanness, tone and definition. I want those things for my body too and am determined that I’ll have them, even if I don’t reach quite the level the instructors have achieved. I’m realistic enough to remember that these women do a minimum of four Zumba classes each week. That’s four hours of high energy exercise that not only provides a great cardio/aerobic workout but also strengthens the muscles. I’m pretty sure that my friend, who is one of the instructors, has to drink protein shakes to supplement her healthy diet because Zumba burns so much off of her.
Creative visualization is supposed to be helpful when someone is trying to reach a goal — any goal. Whether it’s picturing a messy, cluttered room transformed into a pretty, organized useful space or seeing an out of shape, overweight body changed to a healthy, fit physique, visualizing the results motivates you to attain them.
I’m having some trouble with the visualization. I don’t have a frame of reference. I can’t call up a memory of myself slender and fit. Even when I played sports, rode horses, rode my bike everywhere and was so much more active as a kid I still carried around weight. I was “chubby”.
So, I’m trying to formulate a strategy to help me envision myself toned and more trim. I know that I’ll always be curvy and I’m totally okay with that shape. Boobs, hips and a butt are fine as long as my stomach and waist are smaller than those other parts. I’m even prepared for the fact that eventually my skin’s going to sag in places to the point where I’ll need to have it surgically removed. When that happens, sign me up! I plan to donate the removed skin to be used for grafts for burn victims. To large extent, I’m in a good place mentally, but I wish for just one minute, I could picture myself with the body I’m eventually determined to achieve.
I wonder if it would help for me to PhotoShop a picture of my head on a body that looks like the one I’m aiming toward. Maybe I’ll try that and see if it works as an effective visual aid.
Funny, true story. Years ago, a friend and I made a bet about the outcome of the Stanley Cup hockey championships. Our respective teams were competing against each other. I don’t even follow hockey, but I’m geographically loyal to the local team for sure. My friend decided that the loser would have to send the winner a picture of themselves naked. Trust me, not for a nano-second did I expect to lose the bet.
His team beat mine in four straight games. What the hell was I supposed to do? No way on God’s green Earth was I photographing myself without clothes on and sending the image to anyone anywhere anytime.
Another friend came to my rescue. Remember Lucy Lawless of Xena: Warrior Princess fame? Not too long before this bet, Lucy was wearing a skimpy, patriotic themed outfit when she sang the National Anthem at a hocky playoff game. When she flung her arm straight up in the air to hit the final notes, the strapless bodice of her outfit flipped down and exposed her breast to the crowd in the stadium as well as the people viewing it on television.
My friend had some experience with desktop publishing and photo image software. She painstakingly removed my face from a photo I sent her and fit it over Lucy’s face in a picture we found online of the wardrobe malfunction shot. Brilliant image manipulation. I had a blast sending the doctored image to the friend who’d won the bet.
You know, Lucy is a curvy, statuesque woman. Maybe I should superimpose my face on hers in another photo — this time fully clothed, of course. Think it would help me with my creative visualization?
Weighty Matters 
Go for (clothed) Lucy! I think that creative visualization is very powerful and giving yourself something that visual and that realistic (curvy and statuesque!) is a great idea. Maybe add a few words to think or say to yourself every time you look at the picture would help, too. Like “I am a curvy and statuesque woman. I am fit, trim, and have delightful curves.” 🙂