Weighty Matters

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Fab Day with Friends

on September 21, 2012

I traveled today.  The last time I flew anywhere was about a month ago and the improvements continue.  I had some observations about space or, more to the point, me in relation to space around me.   Have you ever had someone park their car so close to yours that you couldn’t open your own door wide enough to get in or out of the car?  This particularly sucks if you can’t manage to go into your passenger seat, climb over the center console and gain control of your vehicle.

I am always conscious of this space issue when parking my car.  I’ll give up more convenient parking spaces if the car on my left is too close to the dividing line.  I’m less nervous about it now because I require less room.  If a neighboring car isn’t perfectly centered within the lines of their space, I don’t sweat it.  Even if I can’t open the door the entire way, I can usually squeeze inside.

This got me thinking about space in general.  I’ve spoken before about retraining myself to realize that I take up less space.  I don’t need as much room.  The last couple of days, however, I’m more conscious of how other people react to me now that I’m 115 pounds lighter than I used to be.    Specifically, I’m seeing less reaction.  Even though I’m still heavy, I’m no longer super obese.  When I was at my heaviest, I would stand out even in a crowd of overweight people.  Now I don’t and that means there are less people shooting looks at me with expressions I can easily read — the glances that reveal them thinking, “Wow.  That woman’s FAT.  Hope she’s not taking the seat next to me. ”  That’s the mildest example I can think of right now but trust me, I’ve been the target of a lot of looks that ranged from disparaging to disgusted to concerned.

Now that I’m not as big, my overall size is not as much of a big deal.  One thing I noticed this morning is that I can walk straight down the center aisle of an airplane without having to sort of ease side to side.  Today’s plane was definitely smaller in design than the others I’ve been on this summer.  Even so, as I walked down the aisle I didn’t catch any panic on my fellow passengers’ faces as they worried whether the huge woman was going to squeeze her overflowing butt into the seat next to them.

After the flight, I rounded up my rental car and drove off to see friends.  These folks knew that I’d had weight loss surgery and even how many pounds I’ve lost.  I saw them last Christmas but we haven’t been together since I had my operation and dropped so much weight.  Even though they’ve seen pictures, all of them said that the photographs don’t really show the change like seeing me in person.  Everybody said they think I look fantastic.  Even more important to me than the compliments is knowing that deep in their hearts, they’re truly happy for me.  The emotional support means the world.

It’s important to remember the role played by good friends and family whenever you undertake a major change.  Whenever possibly, surround yourself with people who honestly love you, believe in you, want to support you in whatever way that you need, and are truly, irrefutably, happy when you’re successful.  It makes more of a difference than you know!

One response to “Fab Day with Friends

  1. Skye says:

    I’ve really only been aware of the space issue with a good friend of mine who is super obese. He has talked about air travel and how some airlines mention that they might make super obese people buy two seats instead of one, how he doesn’t drink anything because of not wanting to use the toilet (afraid he won’t be able to get in … or out).

    I think it’s wonderful that you are so much more able to inhabit space more comfortably. Your friends’ happiness for you and their support is so special and helpful. And your happiness is just shining through, every post.

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