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Hormoans

on June 4, 2012

I misspelled hormones on purpose because, just to warn you, I’m going to whine a little in this post.  🙂

I’m over 54 years old and have been what my doctor calls perimenopausal for a couple of years.  I am so ready to be done with getting my period.  Seriously.  If they had a pill I could take right now, I would.  I decided years ago that it’s like the Mafia.  Just when you think you’re done, you get pulled back in.

I’d been on a pattern.  Two months, no period, then get it one month.  Skip two months.  Get it.  There have also been changes in the intensity and the duration each time — definitely different from the “like clockwork” schedule and details I experienced ever month.

The doctor told me that I cannot consider myself menopausal until I’ve gone without my period for an entire twelve months.  Last year, I went six months without it and was on the verge of doing the happy dance of joy.  I was positive that I was on my way to a period-free life.  Then, last October, with only the slightest of warning signs – BAM – the period returned with a vengence.  I was away at a conference, pretty much unprepared.  Ugh.  Ugh.  Ugh.  Since then, I’ve been completely irregular.  I never know from month to month now whether or not I can expect my period to start or when during a month.

In the old, pre-peri-menopausal days, I didn’t even need to keep a calendar.  That’s how regular my cycle ran.  If, for some reason, it was tempted to slip my mind, I got certain signs.  Ten days before the start of my period, without fail, I’d get hit with intense cravings for chocolate.  On that day, I wanted chocolate like I wanted air to breathe into my lungs.  When I started going irregular, I couldn’t rely on chocolate cravings as an indicator because I was also so into food and overeating that I craved everything all of the time.

Since the surgery, I’ve been pretty much craving free, which led me to believe that when they removed the part of the stomach that secretes most of the hunger hormone, that took care of the cravings too.

Apparently I was wrong.  All day long, I’ve been thinking about and wanting chocolate in any and all forms.  It’s horrible.  Sadly, someone brought in brownies to work today and I caved and had a small square.  I don’t even particularly like these brownies, but chocolate is chocolate.  FYI, I have a recipe for home made brownies that produces the absolute best you’ve ever had, so I have a pretty high standard when it comes to these treats.  On an ordinary, non-hormone-induced day, I wouldn’t even have been tempted.

Ever since this afternoon, I’ve been successful at battling off the urge to run to the store and purchase something – anything – to feed the chocobeast begging for relief in my belly.  As soon as I finish this post, I’m going to have one of my sugar-free ices instead, banking that the lemony tartness will negate the lusting for chocolate.

I have to say that I’m just a little bit annoyed with my own body and hormones.  I know this isn’t logical, but it doesn’t matter.  It’s bad enough to have to fight the cravings today.  I’m pre-aggravated that ten days from now I’ll have to deal with my period, too.  Then to add insult to injury, I need to start fresh on my 12-count again.

Grrrrrr.

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3 responses to “Hormoans

  1. Mary says:

    Mary, what about a tasty chocolate protein shake? Have you found one you like? Do you think that would satisfy the craving?

    Egads

    • Mary says:

      So, the next blog I visited had a picture of chocolate covered strawberries. The strawberries are healthy and a little bit of chocolate goes a long way… Would that be too far off your plan? If your cravings are strong, I’d try to find a way to satisfy the chocolate urge in a healthy way. I bet Eggface has some good chocolate recipes that are suitable.

      Good luck, hon.

      Egads

    • Mary Stella says:

      I drink a chocolate protein shake every morning. Just not the same. It’s ok now. I’m over the craving.

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