Weighty Matters

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Feeling My Age

I am close to being asleep on my feet, except that I’m not standing, so that would be asleep on my ass.    Yes, I’m that tired.   I think I’ve shared that I work for a marine mammal facility.  In addition to the animals that live in our family, we also volunteer for the state/federal agencies that are responsible for manatees.  For the last several days, our manatee rescue team has been out desperately searching for an orphaned baby.  I am not being overly, or unnecessarily dramatic when I say that the situation is critical.  If we do not find this baby, it will most likely die.

A lot of the time when we go on rescue missions, my role is pretty non-physical.  It’s been a lot different this last week.

I got back from vacation late on Friday and went out with the team all day on Saturday.  It might sound silly, but spending all day on a small boat can still be tiring – particularly coming off as active a week as my friend and I enjoyed at Universal Studios.  So, by Saturday night I was very sleepy.  Okay.  Long day.  I can deal.

I didn’t go with the team on Sunday or Monday.  Yesterday, we needed as many people spread out over the area as possible, so instead of being on the boat, I kayaked.  For at least five hours.  On the 21 Day Fix routine, yesterday would have been devoted to upper body.  Trust me.  after the kayaking, I didn’t need to run the exercise DVD.  I think my upper body got worked more than enough, thanks.  When I finally got home, all I wanted was a hot shower and an o-t-c pain reliever.  I was in bed by 10 p.m.

Unfortunately, we didn’t find the baby yesterday so we went back out today.  More kayaking for me.  I really got into the whole rhythm of the movement.  Then it got a little broken up when I jumped off of the kayak to help haul a very heavy net through the water.  Piece of cake.  Not completely unlike trying to drag a stubborn team of mules but without the mules’ ability to actually move forward on their own.

It was another long, hot, tiring, frustrating, discouraging day.  I came home, showered again and went to Tai Chi class.

Not to be all whiny and stuff, but my muscles ache, I have a headache, and, for the first time in a long time, I actually “feel my age”.  During Tai Chi class, I was so tired, I couldn’t maintain my focus on the moves.  It was awful.

To be honest, I don’t actually know what my age (56) should feel like.  I realize that it’s only an expression, but I get it tonight.  I’m sore.  I’ll be lucky if I stay awake 10 minutes after I hit Publish on this blog post.  My energy decided to take a hike.  My booyah attitude is currently M.I.A.

Sometimes I really need to force myself to remember that I’m not a kid anymore.  I’m not ready for a rocking chair and retirement, but even with my increased fitness, it’s okay for me to feel like I overexerted when that’s exactly what I did.   Maybe I’m feeling the effects of having kayaked for several hours, but I won’t lose sight of the fact that, hot damn, I kayaked for several hours!

At least these days when I feel my age, I’m age-appropriate.  There was a time when I felt far older than my years and knew, just knew, that I was getting old before my time.  This is better.  Much better.

Now it’s time for a little self-care in the form of another dose of  pain relief, followed by going to bed.  I need my rest.

The Foam Glow 5K is this Saturday.  I have to be ready!

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Getting Back on the Horse

How fitting that my previous post was about not liking roller coasters.  I feel like I’ve been on a roller coaster since I got back from the staycation!  I got home late on Friday and then spent all day Saturday on a boat as part of a manatee rescue attempt.  It was a long, hot, frustrating and tiring day.  Yesterday I played catch up – which you know you always have to do that when you get back from vacation.  Today I worked  and tomorrow, we’re heading out on the boat again.  Whew!

But that’s not the point of this post.  Remember before I left I talked about wanting to enjoy myself and maintain my weight loss.  Well, I really had a great time.  Unfortunately, I didn’t rigidly maintain the weight loss.  I’m 100% sure that I’m carrying around some bloat.  History has shown that as soon as I deviate even a little from my food plan, my body sucks in water and weight gain like I’m a human sponge.

Mentally and emotionally, I’m having a very healthy, balanced reaction.  I’m not beating up on myself.  I’m not regretting the treats that I allowed myself.  Instead, I’m remembering that this isn’t really full poundage.  Simple math confirms that, if nothing else does.  Besides, even though I enjoyed some treats, I also recall walking more than 15-freaking miles in two days.

The weight will come off just as fast.

The mental/emotional balance matters a great deal because it helped me achieve the most important goal:  Getting right back on the horse today.  I woke up all energized and determined.  Took the dogs out for a brisk walk, which they enjoyed too.  After work, I started the day’s workout — Total Cardio – and gave it my all for the full 30 minutes.  Then I took the dogs for another walk.

It’s been a great day.  Booyah!

The attitude that I can take a break without destroying my whole effort is a huge, healthy improvement for me.  For years, if I messed up or took a break, it could mean the end of the entire effort and plunge me back into the phase of gaining back all of the weight that I’d lost.  I don’t want to get cocky and think, “yeah, I got this”.  Control, when one is a compulsive binge eater, is a very thin illusion.  That I can redirect myself back on the path I want to journey is a big, positive sign.

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On Not Liking Roller Coasters

One of my besties and I took ourselves off to the Universal theme parks in Orlando for a couple of days.  As you might remember from my one day whirlwind trip to Disney back in May, I avoided theme parks for many years.  I knew that I was too overweight to ride 95% of the rides, so what fun would the parks themselves be for me?

I have a confession to make.  Even before I reached my  most critical mass and top weight, back when I could probably fit in at least some rides, I avoided roller coasters.  They had the  most restrictive seats in order to ensure rider safety.   If I was already leery of simple turnstiles, I didn’t want to risk something that really would be a purposely tight fit.

Rather than admit the real reason, I just told myself and others that I didn’t like roller coasters.  All that high speed loop de looping, the jerky movements and swooping drops just weren’t my cup of tea.  That’s what I said anyway, but deep inside I had that innate fear of not being able to fit.

Lest anyone think that I feared unnecessarily, back in 1998, I actually experienced the total embarrassment of being too fat for a roller coaster.  I was in Texas.  A friend and I went to an amusement park, popped into a ride and the bar could not come down enough over my stomach to safely and securely close.

I leaped up out of the car and practically ran out of the ride.  It was so humiliating.  Except for that friend who was with me, I never confessed this to anyone else.  I couldn’t handle the admission emotionally.   From that point on, I opted to avoid all amusement park/theme park rides.

On this trip, I knew that my size would no longer matter.  I didn’t have to fear getting stuck or not fitting.  I knew that I would.  As it happens, the friend I was with L-O-V-E-S roller coasters.  I was so into the spirit of fun that I wanted to experience everything with her.

Here I would like to give big props to Universal Studios theme parks for the way that they handle potential size complications with their guests.  Outside of rides where there could be issues, they have sample seats.  There are signs posted, with very discreet, sensitive wording.

Okay, so I didn’t really expect a sign that said:  Try these seats if you could be too fat for this ride so you don’t hold up the system for the rest of the people waiting in line.

However, I really liked that they alluded to the possibility that seats might not accommodate all body dimensions.  Each of the roller coasters even had some rows with modified seats because some of the “body dimensions” that could be difficult to accommodate didn’t necessarily result from obesity but from naturally abundant “chestiness” in some women.

The employees that assisted and answered our questions were all polite, non-judgmental, friendly and helpful.  Their attitudes were very much appreciated.

My friend and I checked ourselves before the coasters and, when we knew all was well, excitedly proceeded for the rides.  The first one was the Dragon Challenge at the Wizarding World of Harry Potter.  My first roller coaster in my adult life and we picked one with loops, twists, upside down spins – Aiyeeeeee!

I rode most of it, screaming, and with my eyes closed for most of it.  Same thing on the Hulk coaster.  In the course of two days, we did those two, plus The Mummy (which was pretty much an in-the-dark inside coaster), Flight of the Hippogriff (a smaller coaster) and the Rip Ride Rockit.

For the first couple of rides, I was jazzed that I faced my fears and went on the rides.  Screaming with eyes closed didn’t diminish the fact that I’d done it!  However, it was pretty evident that, feeling of accomplishment aside, I lacked the, “Wow that was awesome” elation expressed by my friend.

Plus, I had some less than pleasant physical reactions.  The sudden jerks, plunges and twirls made my head ache and my jaw throb.  My neck felt like it wanted to snap no matter how hard I worked to keep my head against the headrests.  My stomach flipped inside out – or so it felt.  I, who boat all of the time without a hint of motion sickness, came out of at least one ride fighting back nausea.

For me, the worst was the last – The Rip Ride Rockit.  The only positive experience I associate with it was that I got to choose which music genre and song played in my seat during the ride.  The country choice was Kenny Chesney’s Living in Fast Forward – how appropriate!   I like the song which is  good thing because as we came out of one particularly jarring turn and momentarily slowed, I remember thinking, “When my brain bleeds, this song is the last thing I’ll remember going into my coma.”

When I got off of that ride, I realized that it would be the last time I rode a big time roller coaster.  I have nothing to prove.  I’m not saying that I don’t like them because I want to avoid the potential humiliation of not physically fitting.  I don’t like them because they aren’t fun for me.   Plain and simple.

Don’t get me wrong.  The fault is not in the rides.  They were all spectacular — for those who are fans of these kinds of thrills.   I’m simply not one of those fans.   If you love coasters, then absolutely you want to go to Universal and experience these.  They’re pretty darned amazing.  I could see that watching from the ground with my eyes open while other cars of fans screamed past.

If you’re like me, go to Universal for other things – like Harry Potter’s Escape from Gringotts in the wonderful Diagon Alley or the Despicable Me attraction or the Krustyland Simpsons ride and everything else.  Roller coasters aside, I had a great two days enjoying the Universal theme parks.

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Staycation

My second week of 21Dayfix.com resulted in a three pound loss, making my total 12 pounds in two weeks.  I’ve knocked off the weight that I let myself gain between my funk and my previous vacation.  I continue to do the workouts and follow the food plan.  It’s going well.

I’m modifying my effort this week — not skipping it.  I don’t know if that makes it more of a 14 day fix, but as I touched on in the previous post, I have a good reason.  I’m on Staycation this week!  A dear friend of mine is visiting from New Jersey.  Janet and I have been travel buddies in the past, going to Alaska and Hawaii.  She’s spending a few days with me in the Keys and then we’re visiting Universal Studios for a couple of days.

While I have a lap top computer, the DVD player in it doesn’t work, so I can’t travel with the workout DVDs and do the routine in the morning.  I am not overly concerned.  We’re doing theme parks which means we will be walking our legs off!  I am convinced that I can get in enough physical exercise, even if it won’t be the intensely concentrated 30 minute routines.

Overall, my goal for staycation week is to maintain the weight loss I’ve achieved and have fun.  Having fun does not, and should not, center around eating.  However, I don’t want to obsess about it either.  I know that in the real world, or the real fabricated world of Harry Potter, I can eat sensibly and even treat myself without plunging myself into relapse and weight gain.

Yesterday, we had a full day of activity.  I started out with a protein shake before Tai Chi class.  After class, we went out on a boat ride.  On our way to Key West, we went out to lunch.  I picked out the meat from a sandwich and ate some onion straws.  We got to Key West and walked everywhere for a few hours.  I even climbed to the top of the 65 foot tower at the Wrecker’s Museum.  About 6 pm, before we walked back down Duval to Mallory Square for the street performances, I had a snack pack of walnuts and almonds (100 calories, volume equivalent to the amount I can have with the fix program).

An hour later, we decided that instead of going somewhere for dinner, we both wanted to try the wonderful dessert-only restaurant called Better Than Sex.  My friends, it was so worth it.  I ordered something called Twist and Stout which was a chocolate cake made with three kinds of chocolate and some chocolate stout.  It had a small side accompaniment of Irish Cream Liqueur ice cream.  I savored every bite and ate less than half of it.  So, I definitely did not overeat on it and am confident that I’d done enough physical exertion throughout the day to balance out.

This is how so called  “normal people” achieve balance in their eating habits.   At least, I think that’s how they do it.  Not finishing decadent desserts at one sitting, if one meal has been more substantial, they eat less at the next.  They take into account their physical activity.  All sensible, non-disease-thinking, approaches.

Today we went for a late breakfast that, timing wise, was more of a brunch.  My plate had a selection of items on it.  I ate about half of the plate.  Skipped the home fries and toast and brought home at least half of the eggs as a treat for Nat and Pyxi.  Even so, I was satisfied.   It’s now mid-afternoon and I’m still not hungry.  If I need something before we go to dinner later, I have fruit or chicken in the house.  I can snack without going crazy.  Same thing at dinner tonight.  I can enjoy a delicious meal, bring home leftovers, and not go crazy over food.  This will be doubly satisfying.  Physically satisfying in that I’ll meet my nutritional needs in a yummy way.  Emotionally satisfying because I’ll be happy that I exhibited a strong, sensible approach and planned for success.

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Moans and Groans

I’m about to whine a titch, but I’ll preface it by saying that overall I’m still doing well with my food plan and workout regime.

Okay, now for the whine.  Two days ago, I was stressed at work and at home.  I’d brought a perfectly respectable, healthy selection of foods for my two snacks and lunch at work.  Unfortunately, I ate lunch way too fast.  For whatever reason, perfect lovely, raw baby carrots do one hell of a number on my stomach when I eat them too fast.  This made the deli turkey meat also feel like it was sticking in my stomach.  I felt like crap for the rest of the afternoon into the evening.

Yesterday, again for whatever reason, my whole body just felt off.  I think if I could have imbibed some magical that would instantaneously flush and cleanse every internal system I would have chugged it like Alice in Wonderland.  Instead, because my belly ached for hours at night, I bellyached to myself, to the dogs, to the empty room.  If a telemarketer had called, I probably would have bitched to them too.

I was that miserable.  Not so bad that I thought I needed emergency medical care or anything, but bad enough that I dissolved into one big old baby.

So, that’s the negative.  Now here’s the positive stuff I learned from the experience.  I am, indeed, capable of making adjustments for my own good when needed. I can change behavior.  Maybe I don’t do it all of the time, but I know that I can do it — and this is knowledge on which to build.

First of all, I stayed away from raw carrots for the next two days.  I also opted to replace lunch with a protein drink all together.   I had solid food in the form of one fruit snack and then dinner but I was super careful and slow in how I consumed these things.  Anything to help the digestive system so that I didn’t further irritate my stomach.

As a result, I feel much better tonight but I continue to baby myself more than I normally might.  I don’t consider this a bad thing.  I deserve to self-pamper, particularly when it sets me up for success.

I’m going to do a little more of it in a bit by soaking in a bathtub before bed.

Tomorrow is my official weigh-in day.  Even though I get on the scale every day, I count my overall success with my Friday morning weigh-ins.

I’m also psyching myself up to stay with the current program through the next several days.  One of my closest friends is coming into town for a visit.  I’m taking vacation time next week too.  I’m really looking forward to it, but don’t want to use it as an excuse to take a break from my effort.  I can still exercise every day.  I can make sure that I don’t go off of the rails with my eating too.  This is the friend that I traveled to both Alaska and Hawaii with.  She won’t mind if I choose to do a protein shake for breakfast some mornings, any more than I’ll mind that she doesn’t.  After all, she watched me drink protein shakes for the first four days of our Hawaiian cruise so that I was sure I’d make the weight limit for our zip lining adventure.

If I derail, it will be because I choose to deviate in my choices and behavior — not because of any pressure or influence from my friend.  So, I continue to tell myself now that a fun vacation time with a friend is no excuse to screw up my own effort.

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Sleep Eating

When I was in the worst relapses of my eating disorder or any time that I was feeling stress — or when I wasn’t feeling stress because I ate to smother feeling the actual emotions — I frequently ate in the middle of the night.  It was a form of what I call sleep eating – like sleep walking, although I wasn’t completely asleep.

It is difficult to avoid eating out of compulsion when completely awake and alert.  Much harder to get control and stop the impulse when one is operating on auto pilot.  I would be vaguely aware of walking to the kitchen and opening a cabinet or getting something out of the fridge, but the next morning when my alert and awake self saw the evidence of my behavior (cookie wrappers in bed or on the kitchen counter, a dirty glass in the sink or any empty bottle or plate in the fridge) I really had to think on it to remember.

It’s scary to think of eating when not fully aware.  How easily I could have choked, I often think.

For years after going into therapy and regularly attending OA meetings, I successfully curtailed the sleep eating.  Every great once in a while, I catch myself doing it sometimes.  My dogs often get restless in the middle of the night so I get up and let them out into the yard and then return to bed.  Occasionally, I find that I detour to the kitchen.  What I eat depends on what’s around.  Sometimes it’s a few pistachios.  (I’m somewhat surprised that I can shell pistachios and eat the nuts when barely awake.)  However, I’ve eaten other things too.

A couple of weeks ago, I realized this was becoming more than an occasional thing.  I was stopping in the kitchen before going back to bed almost every night.  Once I got more aware that the pattern was repeating, I began to strategize how not to have it continue.  This isn’t easy.  Staying in recovery and on the plan requires vigilance.   Vigilance is tough to maintain when more than half asleep.

I confess that I couldn’t come up with much of a strategy.  The best I can do is plant the thought in my head when I go to bed that if I get up, I will return to bed without a side-trip to the kitchen.  I’ve tried that a couple of times and it’s worked.  So, perhaps the thought stays with me if I think it shortly before I fall asleep.

More disturbingly is that I don’t know why the incidents began to increase in frequency.  I’m not unhappy or overly stressed.  Things are good.  So, for now, I’m chalking it up to “just because”.  Honestly, I sometimes eat compulsively for no reason other than the fact that I have the disease and sometimes it happens before I can put on the brakes.

While it would be great to identify a root cause, it’s more important for me to not engage — regardless of the reason.

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The Fear Remains

Will I ever lose my fear that small deviations screw up my food and fitness efforts?  Am I that wired into the mindset that perfection is the necessary goal and anything less equals failure?

I spent yesterday, a Sunday, doing things around the house.   Sunday, the daily exercise routines with the program call for the Yoga Fix.  Instead of Yoga, I did Tai Chi.  I also walked the dogs and cleaned the pool.  Between that and other things, I was still physically active.

I did not eat junk, but I didn’t eat on the same time schedule that I use weekdays when I’m at work.   As part of my dinner, I ate some potato.  It’s on my plan, but because, overall, the day felt a little wonky program-wise, I started emotionally obsessing over whether I’d “blown it”.

Once I start down that path, I really need to work to put on the brakes because my motivation and determination start to crumble under the pressure of negative thoughts.  Negative thoughts as in:

“You blew it again.”

“Yousuck.”

“Whybother? You already blew it.”

“Might as well go pig out on something.”

“Get a cupcake it won’t do any more damage since you already blew it.”

“You’re destined to fail.”

My diseased thinking is absolutely rotten to me.  If I heard someone talking to a friend like this, I’d give them a blistering talking to — a verbal bitch slap into next week.  Thankfully, I did not give in to its suggestions that I go pig out on cupcakes or something else that would have made the situation even worse.

Even so, I woke up all annoyed with myself, walked to the scale like a condemned prisoner doing the green mile, and saw that I’d lost another half a pound.

My disease-oriented brain was, once more, dead wrong.   I wasn’t perfect and rigid on my plan, but I didn’t damage myself.  This is not a case of a narrowly missed close call.  I was still healthy in my eating and didn’t overeat.  THAT’s the lesson I need to learn, the distinction I need to make.  Progress not perfection.   Healthy eating does not have to be rigid.  It just needs to be . . . healthy.

The perfection poison is destructive in the long run.  It effectively manipulates my emotions and my mindset.  Ultimately, it can undermine my effort instead of bolstering it and shoring up my foundations.  Today I’m focused on diffusing its power.

I’m going back to Booyah in my attitude.   Even though I’m still doing things around the house, I’ll stick to my eating schedule.  This will help me to avoid the negative thinking.  I have yummy, fresh food to enjoy and I will savor it.  I have some projects to do around the house and I’m looking forward to completing them.  I already took the dogs out for a walk and will do today’s cardio routine a little later this afternoon before I get ready to go to a friend’s house for a barbeque/birthday celebration.

I may not be perfect, but I won’t give into fear either.  I got this!

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Laboring Weekend

I’m about to go soak my weary body in a warm bathtub. Not that I need the justification, but I earned the relaxation and my muscles will appreciate the treatment. I definitely put the labor in Labor Day Weekend today.  It began with Tai Chi class for about 90 minutes this morning. I then made a circuit through town to do errands. Here’s my list:

  • Drive to veterinarian’s office to pick up the heartworm preventive treatment for Nat & Pxyi
  • Get gas and fill car tires with air
  • At little neighborhood hardware store pick up new trash can, new recycling bin, picture hangers and those little felt things you put on the bottom of chair legs
  • Stop at the post office
  • Go to pet store and tote out big bag of food, also for Nat & Pyxi
  • Since it was right next door, run into florist and pick up half a dozen sunflowers just because I wanted them
  • Go to health food store and check out coconut palm sugar (Ever since I found out that most stevia products still have junky stuff in them, I’ve been on a quest for a lower calorie but more natural sweetener for my tea. A friend suggested coconut palm sugar at 10 calories a teaspoon.  Will let you know if I like it after I try it.)
  • Realizing I was hungry, I had lunch at the health food store — a salad of zucchini, beets, carrots and cabbage, spiral cut so that the veggies looked like spaghetti, served with warm quinoa. Delicious and I brought half of it home to eat tomorrow
  • Go to Home Depot’s garden section to get new herbs and flowering plants

That was all by 1 o’clock!  Once I got home and unloaded everything, I got to work on removing the old/straggly/dead plants from my various planters and replacing them with the new items.  I love the instant satisfaction of seeing new, pretty flowers and greenery!

I moved inside to do some work.  The construction work on my dining room and living room is complete! (Except for a few touch-ups that will be completed next week.  I have a short punch list for my contractor.)   I at least got the floors “broom clean” today and can do more tomorrow.   It’s also important that I move some stuff that I was storing in the guest bedroom out of that room because a friend is coming to visit at the end of next week.  So that was more of my labor today.

With that complete, I took a little break during which I debated with myself about whether I’d done enough physical activity with my chores and Tai Chi to qualify as exercise.  Thankfully, my higher minded self won the debate.  I turned on the DVD player and did the entire 30 minute routine that was scheduled for the day and then took Nat & Pyxi for a walk.

But I still wasn’t done!

After dinner (Leftovers from last night. I’d made balsamic glazed brussel sprouts and grilled skirt steak.  The meal was even yummier tonight.) I put together the last two new dining room chairs that I bought.  When that task was complete and the chairs were arranged around the new table, I decided that I’d done enough for one day.   I flopped into my chair and watched the rest of the Phillies game.

I’m whipped, but also feel terrific for having accomplished so much.  I feel even better that I actually can accomplish so much in a single day.  The fact that I’m tired and my muscles feel the effects of the work has nothing to do with obesity.  I think anyone on the planet would feel the same after such a busy, filled day.  More than the tiredness, I feel grateful for the energy and endurance that helped me achieve the day’s chores.

Better yet, I know the same energy and endurance will be with me tomorrow when I finish putting my guest room to rights, clean the swimming pool, and hang some art.  Labor ensues!

How are you spending the three day weekend?

 

 

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Portions and Balance

I can’t find the post from more than a year ago, but I remember talking about how much I loathe weighing and measuring my food. In my recent rejuvenated quest, I became willing to go to whatever lengths necessary to break through the stall and start losing weight again. As it happens, I chose a program that requires me to sort of measure what I’m going to eat.

I say sort of because there isn’t a fully written plan that specifies things like, “Eat 4 oz of lean protein, 1 cup of green beans, a quarter cup of whatever.” Instead, the plan came with brightly colored square containers in various sizes. The green container is for vegetable portions; purple for fruit; red for protein; yellow for starches; blue for some nuts and similar things; orange for certain seeds. The program provides a mathematical formula to figure out a target calorie range, depending on current weight. Then, depending on the range, it specifies how many portions of each classification of food one should eat. If you can cram it into the container and still snap on the lid, you can eat it.

In my case, I went with the lowest calorie range — 1200-1499 a day — since I know that’s sort of where my doctor wants me to hit and it’s akin to what I was eating, knowing that with exercise I’d net less. Since I don’t really have to look at measuring cups or spoons (except for oils) and I don’t have to weigh any foods, I don’t feel like I’m measuring.

I take my food to work with me in plastic containers anyway. That’s what I’m doing with these colored containers, but with the added benefit of automatic portion-size control. I don’t pack the containers full either, since I can’t handle that much food.

Where this colored-container program has really helped is in the area of seeing balance in my daily food intake. I thought I was balanced, but now can tell that I wasn’t to the degree that I should. For example, we hear a lot about a healthy diet including five servings of fruit and vegetables a day. Left to my own devices with that broad a description, I would be happy eating three fruits and two veggies — which means I take in more sugar, even natural sugar, then I probably should. This plan breaks it out into three veggies and two fruits, so by following it, I achieve a better balance.

After weight loss surgery, the emphasis was on many grams of protein a day. Protein was supposed to be the leading role in the program. I did that so well for so long. Somewhere along the line, I started to deviate a little. Instead of a quality, more dense protein snack in the mid-morning, I’d eat nuts, for example. Whatever happened, I realized this week that on most days I don’t eat the amount of protein that I should, or that my body needs. So, this week I made sure that my mid-morning snack included protein. I think this has already fostered some small improvement in my metabolism. Plus it must help my body recover and my muscles work and strengthen with the workouts. I still have trouble getting in four servings of protein, but I’m definitely a solid three every day.

I absolutely know that for a while I was eating too many empty carbs like breads or crackers. I really dropped those this week. I can have two servings, but it’s hard for me to incorporate them if I’m eating the veggies, fruits and proteins. At best I had some for taste but didn’t pack in a full size portion.

Lest you think I’m starving myself, trust me. I’m not. I make up most of the shortfall by spreading out my food intake over six meals. I know that while I’m in losing phase, my doctor’s okay with me eating 1000 calories a day. I find because I’m eating everything in balance, I physically feel really good. Better than I have in a while, and my system isn’t sluggish.

I’m also making a concentrated effort to up my hydration. I’m drinking plenty of water, but a few cups of green tea or a tasty detox tea.

So, this week, the attention I’ve paid to portions and balance, coupled with the 30 minutes of strong exercise every day (plus my daily Tai Chi and dog walks), paid off. As I edited to add in the post this morning, I lost 9 pounds in the week since I started this program. Some of it was flushing out “water weight”, but the rest sure wasn’t. I credit adhering to the program, eating clean, and working out.

It feels terrific and I’m looking forward to continuing next week.

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Booyah!

Booyah is my word of the day. Actually, it’s my word on a lot of days. My assistant at work and I use it a lot to indicate a victory, the completion of a particular accomplishment, or when we’ve had an opportunity to be a little “in-your-face-take-that” in a somewhat metaphorical way to some opponents.

Tonight, I feel all of those things. Tomorrow it will be a full week that I’ve been on this new program. I can already tell that I’ve lost weight. That’s a victory over the stall I’ve experienced and an accomplishment. No matter what, every single one of us should remember that every successful day on a program – whatever that program happens to be – is an accomplishment. I’ve had a string of great days in a row, so Booyah!

Booyah to my eating disorder, too. That’s the “in-your-face” part of my feeling. My eating disorder sometimes acts like an ever-criticizing voice in my head. When I struggle, it says rotten things to me about how I’m screwing up, how I can’t stick to a program, how I’m doomed to regain all of my weight, how I’m weak-willed. Blahblahblahyousuckandshouldadmititblahblahblah. Well, eating disorder, you can take your critical, demeaning attitude and stuff it. I’ve had a great week, despite your effort to sabotage or undermine me so, Booyah!

Every day I stuck to the food plan and did the scheduled exercise routines. These were not easy. I’ve been sore most of the week which tells me I’ve worked muscles that needed the extra effort. I’ve also kept up with twice daily dog walks and daily Tai Chi. Today’s routine involved Pilates. I have zero experience with Pilates but I did the entire routine. I hope that my abs will thank me when they finish cussing me out. In keeping with my experiment to do some of the routines in the evening, I worked out a while after dinner and the evening dog walk. That’s probably why right now I feel particularly strong.

For so many years my body just felt beaten down, tired, and old beyond my actual age. To feel this strong and capable is more than a physical boost. It’s truly an emotional high. I love it!

I’m taking the positive energy experienced this week and bridging it into the next week of effort. I can build this into real momentum and keep chugging toward my goal.

Say it with me now, friends, “Booyah!”

**********Quick Edit************
I weighed in this morning (Friday) since I started the new program last Friday. I’m down 9 pounds! Yes, I know some is the water weight bloat but that’s still significant. So, again I say Booyah! Have a great day!

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