The last two days have not been ones that I’d like to make scrapbooks about and remember forever. They’ve ranked a little higher in suckitude than in the category of sunshine and roses. Most of it is work related. Trust me, if Mercury isn’t in retrograde, it should be because ordinary tasks are getting screwed up. Other, unexpected things are contributing to an overall atmosphere of snafu. (I don’t think snafu actually belongs as that part of speech but humor me, okay?)
Normally, I’m an upbeat person and take most things in stride. Semper Gumby (always flexible) is a standard rallying cry. I can roll with pretty much any punch. Except those rare times when I feel like things are piling on more than usual and circumstances are stealing my joy. Stealing my joy along with my bright light, energy, and general tolerance for other peoples’ foibles.
Honestly, everything has contributed to me being cranky as hell and not as willing to stifle it or rise above it. I pretty much isolated myself in my office today rather, as much for my well being as well as that of others. Unfortunately, I couldn’t ignore emails and, through that means, a couple of people really pissed me off. Bad timing that they picked this week to do so. While last week I would have been more inclined to not call them out for passive-aggressive behavior or control freak tendencies, this week . . . not so much. In a couple of days, I’m probably going to feel bad that I didn’t call on great techniques to resolve the issues in more gentle, less blunt ways. Tonight I honestly don’t give a #*$&. Yes, I am that bitchy right now.
Aren’t you glad you stopped by this blog today?
So, why do I share all this ugly crap with you today. For one simple reason. No matter what has rocketed my way, regardless of the various emotions rolling over me, I am still abstinent. I haven’t caved into compulsive urges or overeaten. I’m not medicating my emotions in a pint of ice cream or stuffing my aggravation with wedges of cake or handfuls of greasy potato chips.
I’m eating my healthy meals, prepared according to plan. Rotten days are not a reason to abandon my recovery. Difficult circumstances do not become an excuse to binge. No reasons, no excuses. Even in turmoil, I’m managing to remember that giving into the eating disorder will only make it all worse. I prefer to hold onto my abstinence and use it as an example of something that is still going right. It helps me to recenter my gratitude which, ultimately, will reduce the power of the other circumstances.
No reasons, no excuses. I’m remaining on track.
Weighty Matters 