Weighty Matters

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Getting the Why

I don’t know why it is so hard sometimes to make the right choices and so much easier to make wrong ones. What complicated maze of crossed wires between our psyches, emotions and bodies redirects us from the obvious best options and leads to us taking an unhealthy course of action?

To great extent, choices are a matter of black and white. You either do this or that. Humans being humans, we lighten the black and muddle the white to create various shades of gray. In that gray we screw up sometimes. It’s like a fog obscures the issue and blankets our common sense just long enough for us to make the wrong choice.

Don’t ask me why I’m in this pensive, philosophical mood of confusion tonight. Overall I’m in a good place. I’m not perfect and I eat wrong more often than I’d like, but I’m not rolling into relapse. Honestly, I feel strong and able to balance my urges and occasional missteps with healthy choices and positive actions. I know the “what”. Tonight, I’m just caught up in the “why”.

It’s funny because I’m not usually a “why” woman. A long time ago, I decided that I didn’t need to know why I did certain things. I just needed to not do them, regardless of whether I understood my motivations or loss of motivation, depending on my actions. The bottom line is that this is still, well, the bottom line. When the choice is between a positive action or a negative one; healthy choice or unhealthy; I need to choose positive and healthy versus the alternatives. Even if I have excuses or imagine there are good reasons, that justify the opposite choices, I need to ignore those “whys” and stick to what I know is right for me.

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