Weighty Matters

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Home from the Cruise

Thank you all for the good wishes about my trip.  I had an amazing fun time.  I love country music and every day featured multiple concerts, interview sessions and other activities.  Plus, I met numerous nice people from all over the country – many of whom I will remain in touch with going forward.

We visited three ports plus the cruise line’s private island.  I was active in all four places.  I also walked all over the ship, seemingly all of the time, every day.  I also frequently took the steps, climbing four or five decks.  For fun, I took part in three or four hour-long line dance lessons and then a couple of times went up for the nightly dancing again.

Full disclosure time:  I ate well every day, but I did not eat right.  By right, I mean that my good intentions apparently stayed in port when I sailed away.  I definitely ate too many carbs and too much sugar.  I’m not going to lie or pretty it up.  I won’t claim that I didn’t mean to do it.  I got on board surrounded by all of that delicious food and I ate it.  Conscious choice.

So all of the activity was intended to be not only for fun, but also to partially compensate for the increased caloric intake.

I am absolutely terrified to get on the scale.  So, I’m not going to right away.  Now that I’m home, starting tomorrow I’m going to do a three day liquid diet with protein drinks and fresh fruit & veggie smoothies.  Because I know that I get a crunch-texture craving when I do this, I also have some celery sticks and crisp apples.  Those will be the only deviations.

This is a real test of recovery for me.  It is one thing to deviate so drastically from my food plan.  It is another thing all together to pull my act together and get back on track.

Emotionally, deviating from the plan did not affect me.  I wasn’t consumed with guilt.  It didn’t make me feel fat and ugly.  A couple of my daily readings reminded me not to let those negative feelings and emotions overtake me and ruin my fun.  Instead, I enjoyed myself.  I was social all of the time.  I took part in snorkeling excursions, and a bike and kayak ride.

I wore a beautiful gown for costume night and joined the parade across the stage.  I was even mildly flirted with by a charming Texas gentleman who asked me to dance and assured me I’d do fine even though I’d A) never danced the Texas two-step and B) was dressed in a full gown and hoop skirt.  I’m delighted to say that I didn’t stumble, trample his toes, or tangle us up in a satin heap of material.  I was actually on the graceful side and I do not have a lot of experience dancing in a couples’ dance.  So, booyah for me!

Even though all of the musical artists mingle around the ship and are open to people approaching them for photos and autographs, I am so reluctant to go up and ask.  Seriously, I’m such a nerd about it.  However, I will help out a friend on ship if they need someone to be their photographer while they get a photo taken.  Honestly, doing that paved the way for me to also get into a few pictures.  Not once, I’m proud to say, did I think any bad thoughts of myself or my body as in, “I hate asking these people to put an arm around my fat self.”

Seriously, years ago, that thought would absolutely have prevented me from asking.  Oh hell, when it came to pictures, I was always eager to stand in back of a group instead of actually letting my body be seen.  So, I am also proud that I was even willing to pose – and that I’m willing to share the photos here.  Enjoy!

Like I said, I had a great time and am now excited to get back on track and down to business!

I felt beautiful in this gown and loved that so many people complimented me and the dress.

I felt beautiful in this gown and loved that so many people complimented me and the dress.

After we took this photo, he played with my hair and complimented my curls.  I didn't feel too much like a cougar. :-)

Singer/songwriter Darryl Worley and me. After we took this photo, he played with my hair and complimented my curls. I didn’t feel too much like a cougar. 🙂

 

Singer-songwriter Wade Hayes and me on costume night.  He is a super nice guy and complimented me on my outfit.

Singer-songwriter Wade Hayes and me on costume night. He is a super nice guy and complimented me on my outfit.

I've been a big fan of Larry Gatlin and the Gatlin Brothers for more than 20 years.  I was thrilled to get a photo with him - particularly since I didn't last year.  He was so nice about it!

I’ve been a big fan of Larry Gatlin and the Gatlin Brothers for more than 20 years. I was thrilled to get a photo with him – particularly since I didn’t last year. He was so nice about it!

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Getting Back on the Horse

How fitting that my previous post was about not liking roller coasters.  I feel like I’ve been on a roller coaster since I got back from the staycation!  I got home late on Friday and then spent all day Saturday on a boat as part of a manatee rescue attempt.  It was a long, hot, frustrating and tiring day.  Yesterday I played catch up – which you know you always have to do that when you get back from vacation.  Today I worked  and tomorrow, we’re heading out on the boat again.  Whew!

But that’s not the point of this post.  Remember before I left I talked about wanting to enjoy myself and maintain my weight loss.  Well, I really had a great time.  Unfortunately, I didn’t rigidly maintain the weight loss.  I’m 100% sure that I’m carrying around some bloat.  History has shown that as soon as I deviate even a little from my food plan, my body sucks in water and weight gain like I’m a human sponge.

Mentally and emotionally, I’m having a very healthy, balanced reaction.  I’m not beating up on myself.  I’m not regretting the treats that I allowed myself.  Instead, I’m remembering that this isn’t really full poundage.  Simple math confirms that, if nothing else does.  Besides, even though I enjoyed some treats, I also recall walking more than 15-freaking miles in two days.

The weight will come off just as fast.

The mental/emotional balance matters a great deal because it helped me achieve the most important goal:  Getting right back on the horse today.  I woke up all energized and determined.  Took the dogs out for a brisk walk, which they enjoyed too.  After work, I started the day’s workout — Total Cardio – and gave it my all for the full 30 minutes.  Then I took the dogs for another walk.

It’s been a great day.  Booyah!

The attitude that I can take a break without destroying my whole effort is a huge, healthy improvement for me.  For years, if I messed up or took a break, it could mean the end of the entire effort and plunge me back into the phase of gaining back all of the weight that I’d lost.  I don’t want to get cocky and think, “yeah, I got this”.  Control, when one is a compulsive binge eater, is a very thin illusion.  That I can redirect myself back on the path I want to journey is a big, positive sign.

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