Weighty Matters

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Fat Days

Ever hear someone talk about feeling fat on a particular day? I used to hear this lament from friends, usually when they were approaching their period and experiencing water weight gain and bloating. It wasn’t an occurrence that I experienced because, to be honest, I felt fat every single day. Because I was.

Since I’ve lost 170 pounds, even though I still have around 50 to go, I don’t often think of myself the same way that I did. I mean, I know I’m still overweight, but I honestly don’t go around thinking, “Ugh, I’m still so fat.”

Today, I get it. I’m having a fat day. I’m pretty sure this is an emotional residual from the physical eating of yesterday. Is it possible to have a truffle hangover? Anyway, this morning it felt like shirts just didn’t fit right. If the shirt fit, then I decided that all of my clothes were showing the still existing rolls and bulges of my body — particularly in the belly and hip areas. I tried on three shirts that I only bought a few weeks ago. I know damn well they fit because I tried them all on in the store. Today, in my fat mode, I was overly critical of how everything looked and felt on my body.

Geezus, having one these days sucks. No. Likey. I shared this with a friend who assured me that I did not look fat and, in fact, looked nice. She then told me that she was also having a fat day for different reasons. In my case it was the truffle hangover. For her, it’s because she hasn’t been able to workout for several days since she fell and hurt her knee. I think it’s interesting to see how we can experience something that honestly cannot immediately result in increases to our size or imperfections in our appearance (and who needs perfection anyway?), but we automatically go to that place of self-criticism. I was able to assure her in return and we both acknowledged that nothing can change our self-viewpoints unless we change them and let them go.

So, I’m trying to process it out and believe that tomorrow, when I get dressed, I’ll be able to see, recognize and celebrate the positive changes that have produced a much more attractive and, certainly healthier, physique.

Overall my food was better today. I’ve resisted the cupcakes. I also have been paying attention to my fitness. Yesterday, I almost made it to 10,000 steps. Technically, I think I actually did, but the FitBit doesn’t accurately track the amount of movement that I do with my in-home walking program DVD. Yesterday, I did the DVD’s One Mile Walk, but FitBit only counted some of the steps. I have to test it out and see if it only does front and back motion. If so, then I did not get credit for the side steps or kicks. This morning I woke up early and did the brisk paced 30-minute two mile routine. FitBit only counted it as .83 miles. It should have been two miles and at least 1600 steps.

Even though FitBit only has me at 8027 steps today, I’m positive I’m “owed” another 1500 steps at least. I guess I should stop focusing on the number so much, but I’m motivated to hit as close to 10,000 steps as I can every day. That’s why I not only did the two mile walk today, but I also walked the dogs in the morning and took them for an additional 1.5 mile walk this evening. I had a lot of desk work today, but I will do my best to add in some midday walks, even if they’re shorter. I will hit these goals.

For anyone who might have noticed that I haven’t spoken much about my bike riding, it’s been blowing the last several days. This morning the winds hit 30-35 mph! Even 15-20 mph winds make riding a big challenge down here, so I’m trying to compensate with more walking. I haven’t been to Zumba in a few weeks. Even though my legs are strong and powerful, I’m currently experiencing some significant pain/achiness in my left shoulder and some soreness in my right shoulder. Zumba might be all dance, but we do a lot of arm work too and I just didn’t feel up to it. Thank goodness for my feet.

So, how was your day? Do you experience Fat Days sometimes?