Weighty Matters

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My Olympic Musings

I usually love opening ceremonies of Olympic Games. For some reason I’m having trouble focusing on the ones showing tonight from Russia. I keep getting distracted and then pulled back because I hear something completely wrong. For example, I was sure the announcer said, “150 bald guests have joined the dance”.

Instead I’m entertaining myself right now thinking of some events I’d like to try. Not having a death wish nor a desire to injure myself to the point of incapacitation, I think I’d need some help with some of them. In no particular order, I’d like to try:

Ski Jump — Providing they could rig it up with some harnesses and safety lines like they use on novices trying trapeze. Oh, and some kind of soft landing, please.

Bobsled — They already make them for two people, so I’d just need an experienced buddy to do the important, skilled tasks like steering and braking. I just want to experience zooming down the course.

The fact that I’m giving even a fleeting, “It would be really cool to try bobsledding just once” thought will no doubt surprise anyone who knows me. I’m not a big thrill seeker. For example, I honestly don’t have any desire to try an elaborate, mega-steep, super fast roller coaster.

You know, with practice, I could actually do the biathlon. I cross-country skied once back when I was 18 and my older brother lived a year in Colorado. Mom and I flew out to visit him and we went cross-country skiing. Let me tell you, it was hard work considering that I wasn’t in good shape, we were at a far higher elevation than I was used to and I was still a smoker. I bet I’d not only be better at it now, but I’d also enjoy it more. The high point of that long ago experience was meeting John Denver’s wife Annie. Back to the biathlon, I also already know how to handle a rifle although, granted, I’ve never done so on skis in snow. Minor point.

Even in good shape and at my lighter weight, I don’t want to ice skate. We used to skate when we were kids. Let’s just say that I was much, much better on roller skates than thin metal blades. (Allow me to digress: One of my early career aspirations was to compete on a roller derby team. Don’t ask me why I came up with that dream. I have no idea.)

I was the goalie of my high school field hockey team. I bet I could do it for a woman’s ice hockey team, but I sort of like the idea of keeping my teeth.

Downhill or slalom skiing? Hmmm. Not so much. I used to ski on a regular basis up to my college years. Honestly, the older I got the more I preferred hot laced drinks at the bar after we left the slopes.

Looks like I’ve narrowed it down. Bob sled, ski jump, biathlon. Let’s go. Who’s with me?

Is it possible that I really am turning into one of those “live on the edge” types? ;-D

What event would you like to try?

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