Weighty Matters

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Choosing Not to Pig Out

One of the things that I continually reinforce to myself is that while I might have a compulsive eating disorder, ultimately, it is a choice whether to act with compulsion. This doesn’t mean that it’s easy to withstand when the compulsion hits. Often, depending on the circumstances, it’s downright hard and so quick that I feel like I eat before my brain even has a chance to slam on the brakes. However, there are other instances when I have time to think it through and make the healthy choice.

I hit an emotional low on Sunday. I felt lonely, sad, and angry. That’s an emotional soup that, in the past, would trigger a binge. I’m happy to say that I worked my way through it without bingeing. I chose to eat healthy and exercise. Yesterday I went to a morning Aquacize class and then attacked my “room of doom”, firing the first salvo against the impossible-to-navigate around clutter that I’ve created in there over the years. I made really great progress and now feel that I can continue the effort in easy stages.

As a treat last night, I went to see the new X-Men Then and Now movie. I really enjoyed it and the lingering shot of Hugh Jackman’s naked body was just an extra bit of awesome fun.

Through it all, I chose to not pig out. I ate healthy food in moderation. That’s a victory over disease.

I’m over the emotional low, and out of it came the realization that I need to make some positive changes in my social life. I don’t quite have a plan, but the recognition creates the intention and starts the process. However, the key thing is that I’m happy with myself today.

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