Weighty Matters

My word of the day is schlumpy.  Not sure it’s really a word but it describes how I feel today, physically and emotionally.  I thought I’d gotten my body and systems moving in the right direction.  I thought I’d fought past the stall.  I was wrong on all counts.

I’ve know for a while that I needed to step up my cardio exercise.  It’s still too chilly to use my pool for at-home water exercising and the local classes are held too late in the morning for me to go, work out and then shower and change to get to work at a reasonable hour.  I thought I was doing better with my walking but I guess I haven’t been pushing myself enough.

Last night, determined to increase the cardio, I popped in a Dancing with the Stars cardio dance DVD.  Did okay through all of the warm ups and confidentally progressed to the cha cha.   Oh Good God, what was I thinking?  I flailed around trying to keep up with those graceful, totally fit dancers.  Even the eye candy motivation of Maksim Chmerkovsky wasn’t enough to help me continue.

Reasonably, I told myself that I’d never done the DVD before and, perhaps, should not have expected quite so much of myself first time out.  So, I switched to Walking Off the Pounds Express, an in-home walking DVD that I used to do on a regular basis.  The leader is relentlessly perky and after a few dozen times hearing the same routine over and over and over gets tiresome, but it’s a convenient, easy way to get in 15 to 30 minutes of exercise at home.

Crap on a half shell, I am really out of shape.  I knew I’d grown progressively sedentary over the last year or so as my weight steadily increased, but I expected more out of myself!  I could barely get through stage one!  What a complete bummer.  I turned off the DVD and sulked.  Then I called a good friend and told her I just needed her to listen to me whine without offering any suggestions of rationale.  Sometimes we need to whine and get it out of our systems, right?

Once I’d dumped it all out in words I could look at it rationally.  1) Yes, I am terribly out of shape.  Even though I’ve recently lost 50 pounds, I’m still obese.  2) I’ve lost 50 freaking pounds!  I know just in walking from my car to work or to the store or anywhere that I’m already moving with greater ease.  3) I may be out of shape today but if I stick with it, one day at a time I will improve.  Even the paltry amount that I was able to accomplish last night advances me on the path to better fitness.  So does the Tai Chi.

I felt better about it all when I went to bed.  I’m commited to doing that walking DVD five days a week.  I might do it more often, but the five days comprise my rock bottom commitment.

I woke up, ready to take on the day and realized that all systems were not go and when I got on the scale, the number was the same as it has been all week.  Not an ounce less.   Maximum suckitude!  Damn this stall!

In trying to bring a better attitude to the battle, I know that this stall shall one day pass and the numbers will go down.  In the past, this would have been enough to send me off of a diet to do a 1 1/2 twisting somersault in the pike position into a vat of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream.  Today I sat down and thought about it rationally.  I decided that I’d be kind to my body.  If it still needs time to adjust to food, I’ll give it easy food.  So I started with a 1 1/2 shot protein shake for breakfast.  I have a cheese stick for a snack, a container of Greek yogurt for lunch, and some unsweetened apple sauce for an afternoon snack.  Tonight I have some barley soup to eat for dinner.  With the exception of the cheese stick, everything is more liquid or really soft and slide-y.  This will make my stomach and, hopefully, my digestive system happy.  I’ll also make sure to step up my fluids.  I think I’ve coasted a couple of days and not gotten in the whole 64 ounches minimum that I’m supposed to drink.

So, there’s the plan.  Hopefully in a day or two I’ll move past schlumpy and back to feeling great and seeing results!

First off, for anyone who didn’t wind up here from the Bettyverse or ReFab, I was invited to do a guest post today on ReinventingFabulous.com. I wrote about my decision to have weight loss surgery, why I did it, how things are going, and what I’m looking forward to.

A few weeks ago, I started going to a Tai Chi class twice a week.  Tai Chi is a “soft” martial art that is frequently described as meditation in motion.  It’s terrific for calming your mind, stretching, improving your balance, developing your internal energy and more.  If you’ve ever seen video or tv ads that show groups of people (often Asian), slowly moving their bodies in synchrony, that’s likely Tai Chi.  It looks easy, but in reality it’s a very complex martial art with many steps to each move and a lot to learn before things flow “effortlessly”.

It might be a “soft” martial art, but make no mistake — every move is designed for defense or attack.  An 80 year old Asian who has practiced Tai Chi for most of his/her life can put you on the ground in a second, all by using their highly developed internal energy.  Seriously.  They can kick your ass!

I first took up Tai Chi around 1995 and studied it diligently for about four years.  There are many different forms.  Back then I studied the Wu style long form with 108 moves.  It took a year of weekly classes to learn the entire form.  Our teacher always reminded us that we would then spend a lifetime perfecting our form and developing our abilities.

Sadly, I fell off of doing Tai Chi when I moved to Florida.  Even though I missed doing it, I never got my act in gear to take it up again, until recently.  The Taoist Tai Chi Society held an open house for beginners about half an hour from where I live.  I couldn’t go since I was only about a week post-op, but a friend took it up.  I asked her if she could find out whether it would be okay for me to join up after the fact and it turned out that the instructor was okay with me doing so.  I started going when the class was on its fourth lesson.

Although the form is different and there are some things I’m familiar with that they don’t focus as much attention on, many of the basics are the same.  The first night I went, the instructor reviewed the moves to the set that the class had learned so far, and I was able to catch up for the most part;  Since then, I’ve been able to review more and also learn the new moves along with the other students.  I enjoy learning this new-to-me form.  It’s a challenge, but a fun one.  The moves all of names — most of them connected to animals and nature.  Last week we learned the move called “Warding Off Monkeys”.  Today it was “Push Needle to Sea Bottom”.   So much more interesting than, “Bend Over, Touch Fingertips to Wrist of Other Hand”, don’t you think?

Class meets twice a week for an hour and we steadily move for at least 45 minutes of that hour.  Yes, our moves are slow, but we are stretching, shifting our weight, turning, and focusing throughout.  When the class is over, my body feels sooo good.  My mind feels even better.  If I had any stress in my mind or body at the beginning of class, it’s gone far, far away by the end.  When I first took up Tai Chi those many years ago, I learned to breath deeply into the lower dantian (known by many names, including tan tien) which is a center for energy in the body and also helps me root my body.  That deep breathing infuses my cells with healthy oxygen  and really helps me understand why this is known as meditation in motion.

As my weight climbed the scale to my heaviest points, my activity level significantly dropped.  A year ago, it started getting really difficult for me to walk any distance.  My knees, ankles and back hurt and I lost my breath with very little effort.  Rather than push through it, I grew ever more sedentary.  The 50 pounds I’ve lost has already made it easier for me to move.  I am absolutely delighted with this and with the fact that I can do all of the Tai Chi moves and keep up with them, moving for the entire length of class.  So, not only do I feel great physically and mentally, I am elated and energized emotionally.

I feel a bit like my excess pounds had me trapped or imprisoned and I’m now breaking free.   The feeling goes beyond Tai Chi to other parts of my life.  Rather than search out the shortest distance between two points, I now take parking spaces that are farther away from stores, and look for opportunities to walk a little more.  I tune into how much better my body feels to move without pain and stiffness.  I’m looking forward to even more improvement as time goes on and my poundage continues to decrease.

Whether I’m Carrying Tiger to the Mountain, or simply walking my dogs, each step is a gift and a promise for even better things to come.

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The Taoist Tai Chi Society is wide spread.  If you study with one branch, you are then welcome to visit with others when you travel away from your home area.  If you’re not very active but want to be, Tai Chi is a great way to start.  You can start at any age — young or old — and I can promise that you’ll see and feel improvements in your body.  For more information, check out www.taoist.org.