Weighty Matters

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Not a Soap Opera

I’ve watched General Hospital pretty consistently for the last 30 years, or since whenever I got my first VCR and could record it during the day while I was at work. Going on in today’s episode, Bobbie is upset over the disappearance of her daughter Carly, who is in the hands of an insane murderer. Bobbie’s adopted son has just arrived in town to be helpful, but that stresses out Bobbie more because son doesn’t know that his biological father really isn’t dead. Heather, the crazy murderer wants to frame her own son for Carly’s murder and is furious that the cops haven’t fallen inline. That son is himself a serial killer but he committed his crimes because of a brain tumor.

GH puts the drama in daytime drama, don’t you think? I think these shows should make us feel better by comparison. What some people often feel is drama in their lives doesn’t come close to deranged serial killers, fathers back from the dead, and abducted daughters.

Then there’s “reality” television shows. I put that in quotes because they’re aren’t really reality. They’re reality ramped up by many degrees in order to make them more interesting, more “riveting”, often more controversial in order to generate more viewers.

When all is said and done, regardless of the occasional ups and downs, my life is not a soap opera. Most of the time, nothing that happens, nothing I experience should be powerful enough to throw me off stride and off plan. Bottom line, there really isn’t anything that happens to be today that is upsetting enough that I should eat over it. What’s that old saying about Rule #1 is Don’t sweat the small stuff and #2 is that it’s all small stuff?

I like the idea of keeping everything in perspective which means not letting mole hills appear to be mountains. It’s all small stuff.

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Burning the Candle

Quick post from the phone tonight, my friends. I’ve been going non-stop this week. In addition to being plenty busy at work, there were several other responsibilities requiring my time and energy.

When you burn the candle at both ends for too long, the candle isn’t the only thing that burns out. I’m exhausted tonight and have an extra early start tomorrow.

For the sake of my brain cells and body, I’m unplugging and shutting down early to go to bed.

Will be back soon. Big hugs to all.

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Copping Out – But With Cuteness

Everyone, I’m exhausted tonight, so much so that I couldn’t write a coherent post if you paid me. I woke up super early, couldn’t go back to sleep, and didn’t stop moving from the time my feet hit the floor until now. I hope you’ll forgive me if I direct you to some dolphin cuteness. One of the two expectant mothers at the facility where I work gave birth today. Check out photos and a video at the DRC blog by clicking here.

Hope you enjoy!

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The Sleepy Blogger

I honestly didn’t realize that I haven’t blogged since Tuesday.  I know I’ve had a busy week but, yeesh.  That’s bad.  The good news is that I’m really good.  The bad news is that I’m so sleepy that the topic I thought of earlier today has already floated out of my head.   In concentrating, I think it was something to do with being more productive since I lost weight.  How’s that for a contrast?

Yes, I’d like to blog about being more productive, but right now I’m too tired to be productive, let alone blog about it.  *snortle*  That feels ridiculous to me, too.

Please forgive me, but if I try to do the blog tonight, at some point it will devolve into gibberish and I’ll end up with poiuytrewq on my forehead.

Hope you’ve all had a terrific week and that you have fun plans for the weekend.

I promise to blog on productivity tomorrow or Sunday.  Cross my heart!

In the meantime, if you’re so inclined, talk amongst yourselves. :-)

 

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Food Isn’t An Event

I received a long, wonderful, “catch up” email from a dear friend today.  She had weight loss surgery last fall and both knees replaced last month.  We’ve known each other for almost 20 years.  Of all of my friends, she most understands my food issues and struggles with the eating disease.

It was great to hear from her and learn how she’s doing with her recovery and rehab.  I’m so proud of her and excited for her future.  In her email she said something that really got me thinking.  In a nutshell she said that food cannot be her friend and it can’t be an event.   That has stayed with me ever since I read it.  I realize how often I made food an event even though I didn’t realize it.  It wasn’t enough for food to be part of a celebration or holiday.  It often became my focal point.  Sort of like, “Oh, great.  It’s Christmas.  Mom’s making Beef Wellington” or that the whole point of the birthday was the license it gave to eat cake and ice cream.

Those were just the big things.  There have been countless other times when food took on much greater relevance, when it surpassed the event to become the event itself.

It’s sort of a thin tightrope to walk.  Whether it’s a date, or a celebration, we’re big on the practice of marking such things with a fine meal. Whether we prepare it ourselves at home, or go for the entire ritual of dinner out, we give food this powerful quality.   It’s really difficult to sort it out emotionally.  How can I relish the reason for the celebration and make celebrating at all the reward without elevating food and eating to star status for the occasion?

So much of my focus is still on food these days.  In order to successfully proceed with my journey, I honestly need to think a lot about my food, what and how I’m going to eat.  Again, there’s a tightrope — to balance between not making food and eating an event, but giving enough thought and consideration to my planning and the way that I consume.

The pre-planning helps.  I’ve done well with putting together lunch and my snacks the night before.  It’s like once I’m prepared, I can forget about the food.  I don’t have to think about it anymore once everything’s packed up and ready to go.

For the rest of it, I think I need to work even more on the awareness factor.  I love the social aspects of going out with friends or family to eat.  I think it’s okay to roll in enjoyment of a tasty meal that someone else created, as long as that’s not the priority.  So, before I go out, I guess I’ll need to remind myself that the point of the evening is the socializing and company.   Food is the accessory.  An important one, for nutrition’s sake, but an accessory just the same.

There’s more here for me to delve into.  I’m not quite at the root, but it’s a start.  I need to think, consider, and process this some more.

 

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Live Every Moment

A short time ago I received news that a dear friend has cancer. His stomach, liver and lung are involved. Please keep him in your prayers.

I met and became friends with his wife and then him back in 2000. They are the nicest, kindest people. He’s close to 80 but lives a full, active life with Jeep adventures, lots of RV travel, good times with friends and family celebrations.

This diagnosis just sucks.

They’ve been planning to spend the winter in the Keys. I hope and pray that his treatments are effective and they can still come. Even if they can’t come, I pray the treatments work. These are two of my favorite people. The world would be a less happy place for those of us who care about him if things do not go well.

That sounds like I’m making this more about me and his other friends. I don’t mean it to be. It’s really all about him, his battle, and their journey together. I know this and I’m also sad. Can’t help but be.

When I responded to the email that broke the news, I reminded them that we have a date to go fishing on my boat and I’m holding him to it. Until I have reason not to, I believe it will happen.

In the meantime, this is another reminder to live every moment and make life the best it can be.

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System Reboot

I’m home after my action-packed weekend and conference. I had a great time, learned a lot and am bubbling with ideas.

I’m also exhausted, achy, and out of sorts. It was much easier to make poor food choices due to ready availability of food that isn’t on my plan. I’ll give myself a C- grade. It would have been a C but the party last night featured wait staff walking around with Jell-O shots, spanikopita, and other stuff. I was weak.

I also drank way too much caffeinated tea in three days. That never used to affect me but now it does. Just like I no longer have great tolerance for alcohol because it goes right into my bloodstream and straight to my head.

My body doesn’t react well to me not following protocol. Five days of sometimes good sometimes bad has really thrown me out of whack.

I’m not even that concerned with whether I gained weight. I simply want to feel better. After the long drive home, I stopped at the supermarket for fresh fruit, greens, veggies, Greek yoghurt and coconut water.

It’s time for a system reboot. I’m paying attention to what my body’s saying and will do my best to respond appropriately.

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Home Without Internet

Checking in after my whirlwind trip to and from New Hampshire. Sorry in advance that this will be brief but I’m exhausted. The drive home down the Overseas Highway was horrid with often blinding rain. Not having Internet connection at home means I’m typing on my phone. Ok, enough whining.

I had a great time with my brother, sister in law and many of our friends. I did okay food wise, did two treadmill sessions and feel good about myself regarding my whole effort. I’m not perfect but I’m so much better than I was.

I used to take any reason or excuse to overeat or eat poorly. Now I strive for balance. I teeter, sway and sometimes I need to steady myself but I can feel the improvement.

One day, one food choice at a time.

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Sleepy in the Airport

It’s 5:30 am and I’m waiting to board my plane. This is never my best time of day. I got up at 3:30 and, even after a cup of hot tea, I predict I’ll be asleep before the plane lifts off.

Oh how grateful I am that I inherited my dad’s ability to nap anytime, anywhere.

It is more challenging to be food plan vigilant when rushed, stressed, angry, frustrated, harried, or tired. Feel free to throw in any other state of being that I missed. I realized that again on the drive up yesterday when I stopped for hot tea to ward off sleepiness when I still had 90 minutes more to drive. That’s the only reason those couple of munchkins seemed like a good idea.

This morning, food choices were limited. No skim milk was available at the hotel at dark o’clock. Here at the airport there are a few places open, including an espresso bar with trays of ginormous pastries.

I wanted one, believe me. My mouth watered, stomach rumbled, and my eyes probably took on the dreamy gaze of a woman looking at her lover.

I feel pretty damn good that I bypassed the baked goods and chose a low fat yogurt instead. Booyah!

Each bite and every food choice really does matter. Each deviation from the plan delays the attainment of my ultimate goal. If I’m going to veer I want it to be because I made a deliberate, conscious decision to do so and not because I let tiredness or emotion rule.

Have a great day, everyone.

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On Stage

I’m not name dropping. Heather Graham really is a dear friend. Otherwise there’s no way on God’s green Earth that I would have dressed up in a variety of funny costumes and performed on stage as part of her Vampire Parties at the RT Conventions since 2006.

Oh I’ve had fun and become good friends with terrific people as we put in these shows with very little rehearsal, but I always had to block out my image in my mind.

If I’d really thought about my hugeness I would never have stepped on stage. Figuring out costumes that would fit always presented challenges.

With the weight loss I don’t worry so much about how I look and can throw myself more freely into my performance. I don’t try to hide behind others in the back for the cast photo. I just have fun and try to be as entertaining as possible.

It’s another positive reinforcement as well as another way to simply relish life all the more.

Here’s a photo from rehearsal. Ones from the actual show are on my camera and will have to wait.

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