Weighty Matters

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Post 200

on October 11, 2012

Such a witty title.  Not.  :-)

When I first decided to blog about my post-weight loss surgery journey, I honestly didn’t know how long it would last.  I didn’t set myself up with particular expectations.  I only knew that I thought it would help me to write about my process with the various successes and stumbles.  We learn in OA that rigorous honesty is a crucial element of long term recovery.  I committed to myself and, by extension, all of you who come here and read the blog, that I would be rigorously honest about my experiences.

I don’t know if I consciously considered going so deeply into the reality of my eating dysfunction, my lifelong struggle with weight and the obesity with which I’ve lived for most of my life.  We’ve talked about things here that I never anticipated.  I’m sure there were times when someone reading covered his/her eyes and screamed, “TMI! TMI!”  I’ve discovered that delving into the past helped a great deal with the present and set me up for a healthier future.

Exploring my issues through writing this blog is good therapy.  All of you are a great support group.  I hope we continue to learn and get whatever we need from looking at these things together.

I had my weight loss surgery almost nine months ago.   I’ve lost around 120 pounds.  (Among the things I’ve learned is to back off from weighing myself every day.)  I’m more fit and in better shape than I’ve been in decades.  I feel great physically and emotionally.

I still have a lonnnggg way to go, but I have great progress on which to build.  That’s my lesson, my takeaway for today.  Before deciding to have weight loss surgery, I was mired in despair.  I didn’t think I would ever lose weight.  I was resigned to the reality that my obesity and the co-morbidities would shorten my life.  I’d lost all but the tiniest scrap of hope.  I’m eternally grateful that the scrap remained and that by using it as tinder, I was able to kindle a little fire and that was enough to make me try again — but this time try something more drastic.

I no longer worry that I won’t/can’t lose the weight that I need to.  It’s not a question of if, but a matter of when.  It’s happening for me one day at a time.   From a starting point of despair, I now have a rocketing hope.  I look forward to every day and have great plans for the future.

To celebrate my 55th birthday, which happens in early January, and the first anniversary of my surgery, I’m going to Hawaii.  The February cruise is booked and I am over-the-moon excited.  Hawaii is on my Promise List.  There are a few other things on my list that I might also check off while I’m in the islands.  I wouldn’t be planning these things if I was still 386 pounds.  Now, I can look forward with glee.  The best is yet to be.

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3 responses to “Post 200

  1. Skye says:

    What a terrific way to reward and celebrate yourself and your achievements! I’ve never been: that was on my mom and my list together. I’ll have to find a fitting opportunity to go sometime. I’m sure you will have a wonderful time.

    And what Egads said, too.

  2. Pink Pelican says:

    Congratulations on all of your progress!

  3. Mary says:

    What a wonderful way to celebrate! I’m excited for you too. I’ve always thought Hawaii would be a great place to visit. Nice to have such a pleasure on the horizon to daydream about and plan for. A super inspiration to stay on track as well.

    Awesome :D

    Egads

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