Weighty Matters

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What to Wear

on September 27, 2012

I toyed with titling this post the Agony of De Feet.  I have big feet.  Ten to ten and a half, double E.   I know that we’re supposed to embrace our physical selves, love our bodies, etc.  As far as I’ve come with my level of self-acceptance, I cannot bring myself to love my feet.  I’m happy that I can bend over and touch them, but that’s about it.

You know that whole passionate love affair women are supposed to have with shoes?  How some women will fill their closets with pair after pair?  Not me.  I honestly would rather walk barefoot whenever possible than put on a pair of shoes.  I’d rather wear sandals than something with closed toes.  Ice pick heels and FMPs?  Not for me.  I never liked them even when I wasn’t obese.  I can’t remember a time when I’ve ever really owned a truly cute pair of shoes.  Oh wait.  Back in 1980 I had a single pair of Candies.  They were kind of cute.

Honestly, cute shoes in 10 1/2 EE are rare as 20 karat, VSI diamonds.  Twenty-five, Thirty-five years ago, they were rarer than hen’s teeth.

People keep telling me that I’m going to lose weight in my feet too.  God, I hope so.  I don’t expect a miracle, but if I could even become a single E, that would be the coolest thing ever.

You might wonder why this is coming up today.  It could have appeared as a topic a month or so ago when I was desperately searching for the right sneakers to wear to do Zumba.  I usually buy men’s sneakers because they run wide.  I could have purchased Zumba brand shoes, but the only ones they make for men are black with eye-stabbing fluorescent yellow-green accents.  Hey, Zumba company, yes, I’m talking to you.  Would it kill you to offer black with that pretty purple pink?

I digress.

Living here in the Florida Keys, I wear Crocs sandals almost every day.  I have six pairs of Crocs flip flops in a lovely variety of colors.  These are perfect for daily wear, on the boat, on the beach, to work — perfect, I tell you!

They are not, however, perfect for formal or semi-formal occasions.  This, my friends, is the source of my trauma.   I have not one but two events coming up in two and a half weeks that require me to dress up.  Normally, I would be stressing out over the outfits, but I think I have those covered.  A friend lent me a black sheath dress with a dressy, sheer jacket.  I just ordered a lace and satin top that should go great over a pair of black evening pants, providing I can find a seamstress to take in the pants.  The woman who altered clothes for me a few months ago left town.   If I can’t find a seamstress, I’ll invoke Plan B.  This will require me to devise a Plan B, but I’m on it.

I went to my fall back store – Zappos dot com – to search for evening shoes.  I found some there a few years ago that were at least borderline pretty, plus they were comfortable.  Most important quality of all?  They didn’t look like they should only be worn by 90 year olds with support hose and bunions.  Tonight, out of the megathousands of pairs of shoes, how many possible candidates do you think I found?  20? 10?  1!  As in, 1 is the loneliest number.   Yes, I ordered them.  Now I simply have to hope that when they arrive and I try them on, they’ll fit so that I can go off to the ball events and not feel like a total loser in the shoe category.

If they don’t fit, I don’t really have a Plan B, unless I find a pair of shiny black leather flip flops and glue some blingy charm to them or something.

Let’s pray it doesn’t come to that.

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7 responses to “What to Wear

  1. pinkpelican says:

    I’m with you, Mary – I’m a 10.5, which has got to be one of the most awkward sizes on the face of the planet. I used to wear a wide, but according to the guy who fitted me for my last pair of athletic sneakers a couple months ago, I’m a “normal” width now. The length, 10.5, though hasn’t changed.

    I’ve never been fond of heels, I have a very casual work environment (jeans & sneakers), & I rarely have occasions where I dress up. When I was very heavy I was on a board of directors, which meant I needed passable dress shoes.

    I have plantar fasciitis (asymptomatic for the past 3 or so years, thankfully, but I still want well built shoes with excellent support & generally use orthotic inserts). I decided to start spending good money on quality shoes. If you have access to a shoe store that also specializes in foot issues, look there. We have one in Nashville that has attractive business & dress shoes that come in bigger, wider ladies sizes. They are well built & supportive, & they are not cheap, but they aren’t orthopedic granny shoes either. I have a pair of dress pumps that I’ve worn from them that are quite nice. (It’s a place called Jensen’s, but they are a local family store, not a chain.)

    Alternately, have you considered looking at websites for drag queen shoes? Once I went searching just for fun, & there are several sites that cater to queens. Given that their typical sizes are going to be larger (length & width) then standard ladies sizes, you might find something you like there. There were outrageous shoes but there were also some nice shoes as well, suitable for business, semi-formal & formal wear.

    I don’t remember any of the website names, because I was looking on a lark & didn’t really have a need to buy anything, but if you have to shop online for shoes in your size, it can’t hurt, either.

    Best of luck. I’m thinking about venturing out into the land of girlie shoes (at least a pair of nice, not terribly high heeled dress boots for the autumn & winter), and am not particularly looking forward to it. Hmmm … maybe I need to go back to the drag queen shoe google search myself …

    • Mary Stella says:

      It’s so funny that you mentioned drag queen shoes. I’ve considered going to Key West and asking the drag performers where they get their footwear! I never thought to actually Google the term. Hmmm. Great suggestion.

      Susie, are the Crocs “formal” shoes still the rubber composite material? As much as I love my Crocs I can’t get away with that material if I’m wearing a cocktail dress or formalwear. *le sigh*

      • Pink Pelican says:

        The “you” brand shoes appear to be made from “normal” shoe materials, not the composite stuff the other crocs are made of. I haven’t gotten any of those but they look nice. Check out crocs.com to see the options.

  2. kipper43 says:

    I am not sure widths, but Crocs had a “formal” line called “YOU”. I love their wedges. Maybe you can find something there🐬

  3. Mary says:

    I so hear you. I’m a 10W and haven’t worn heels in years. I just attended a wedding two weeks ago for which I needed dress shoes. I found some sandals, practiced wearing the heels, and I still walked with tiny, tentative steps. I ended up putting my less dressy flats back on at my husband’s urging. I was so much more comfortable, especially since I was on my feet about four hours.

    Egads

  4. Skye says:

    FGBVs you won’t need any Plan Bs! May Plan A work for you in both cases.

    I’d like dressy shoes with some real arch support and that were actually comfortable. I have a pair of thick-heeled shoes that are relatively comfortable and I’m going to wear them until they wear out. At the rate I go out to anything fancy, I’ll be wearing them when I’m a 90 year old. :)

    Maybe you need to write to Croc about having an evening-wear and a work-wear collection!

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